I will pray for you. Being up at 1:50 a.m. could be part of the problem, though. I know that when I wake up in the middle of the night, all the worst sorts of imaginings and thoughts fill my mind. I say the rosary or pray the Our Father until my mind lets go of the horror show.
I think it was Ray Bradbury in “Something Wicked…” that said that the witching hour is when everything seems possible. It’s really the worst time for negative thoughts.
Oh, yes…Bradbury got it right. I never have happy, contented thoughts in the middle of the night. I can always see the absolute worst case scenarios happening - in fact, I’m certain they WILL happen. I think Satan walks the earth at night, disturbing our minds and hearts. Saying the rosary brings back peace and I can sleep again. What a powerful weapon against evil!!
well its difficult to explain but ill try my best. ive had this problem recur for quite some time. theres something defective with my mind i think. because sometimes when i start to think, its like i dont understand words anymore, and then i try to figure out why that is, but it only makes my mind spiral more out of control! then i basically feel like im about to lose my mind, its like my psyche is about to break apart and all i feel is that something very wrong but i dont know what! its very hard to explain. is this what they call psychosis? or thought disorder? but then again given my past it could be demonic i dont know. i feel like its utterly hopeless. i feel like no one can help me. and i dont take any medication or drugs so this isnt a recation to either.First thing is to try to characterize it somehow, and see if we can find any correlations.
For example, when does this happen? Does it go on all day, or more at certain times or when certain things happen? Does it keep you from sleeping? Does it have the same recurring themes, or skip from topic to topic?
One thing you might do, is start looking out a short amount at a time. Like if you’re afraid of something that might happen tomorrow, then try to rest for the next 5-10 minutes, confident that at least for the next hour, your needs will be met.
So tell us more and we might have more ideas.
Alan
I know, my sleeping has been rather erratic lately. its because i didnt enroll in school for this semester so i basically have a lot of free time, but boy i wish i could enjoy it. because i am just suffering.
yes im in the same time zone as you are. i know i was up late.
I don’t think so. It tends to be the case that demonic activity is hidden. I believe it was Fr. Amorth who wrote that when someone believes he has some sort of demonic disturbance, that tends not to be the case. So cancel out demonic from the list… you still have a myriad of natural reasons to be worried about
Let science do its thing. With Christ there is nothing to be afraid of, neither in the spiritual nor in the physical world.Please see a doctor and describe the problem in detail. If these episodes happen only in the wee hours, you might simply need more sleep - our brains don’t work well when we don’t rest them! You said you had physical pain? Please do go to the doctor. There could be something organic going on, it might be stress, it might be sleep deprivation, etc. You need to find out what it is.
Are you saying you have thoughts that can’t be put into words, or at least easily?
What part of your mind are you afraid of losing? Are you bothered because you’re thinking extreme thoughts that are far away from what you’ve been taught is “normal?”
My doctor likes to talk more about the symptoms, because they can be managed. Knowing the exact diagnostic label, if one should apply, is a secondary item compared to handling the symptoms.
both, but mostly the first one.
yes. i have such bizzare fears, i realise that these thoughts arent normal, and that normal people shouldnt think them, but it just feels so real to me.
my thoughts do tell me that “something bad is about to happen”, i feel like that most of the time.
that too. but the most disturbing element of what im going through is that i cannot think of a way out of these thoughts. i feel utterly alone and abandoned, even by God. another thing which adds to the eerieness of my problem is that i cant experience emotions. im just dead inside, completely hollow. and that scares me the most. how do i describe this, alright you know how most people start crying and feeling sad when they expereince suffering or negative stimuli? well i dont. im just flat, im worried, yet im not worried at the same time. its all very confusing. i wish i could decribe it better.
this much ive come to realise myself.
but my bizzare fears dont allow me to do this. since i have extreme doubt about everything. im basically in constant fear of being hurt.
thank you, that was a beautiful song.
I am continuing to pray for you. Can you go and talk to a counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist? Even if you are not currently enrolled in classes, you may be able to see someone on your college campus. Or they can possibly refer you to someone who can help you. I think you really need to seek medical help for your problems. Flat emotions can signal a depression and some of the other things you describe could be physical symptoms of a disease process. Please, seek medical help.
I found that when I was shifting from a “head” person to a “heart person” I actually was becoming more sensitive to things I couldn’t describe. Things that were personal feelings to me, that are so unlike anything I’ve heard anyone else describe.
When you’re dealing with these types of mental problems, to me the fact that you have extreme thoughts just means you have an active mind that is fiercely trying to find a way out of something that doesn’t make sense. Some kind of fundamental conflict like realizing you may need to change your ways of thinking that you were led to think over time going by.
OK. So your feelings of something bad about to happen, aren’t necessarily connected to your extreme thinking.
Worried, but not worried, at the same time. Sounds a little bit like something I experienced during the periods which were difficult, and I had no idea which way they were going to take me, but I had plenty of hope. When I had no hope, there was no “but not worried” component.
Fear of being hurt. I don’t know about you, but I always had plenty of love around me, and my faith wavers from time to time, but when I don’t have any hope. That’s when it got to me most. When I can think of 100 possible ways that Things Might Turn Out, and all of them are disasters. One of mine was, “in 3 months will I and my kids be homeless?” I had no imaginable way that I could see myself avoiding this based on all the best possible things happening I could imagine. People told me there is always hope, and I knew it but didn’t feel it. But as it happened, there were generous people who helped us and still are, several years after I thought is was homelessness for sure. But the point is, I pretty much relied on good friends and family to keep me going and tell me there was hope…
You’re welcome.