Can someone with ssa enter a third order?

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alyscavanagh

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Hi…in the light of Pope Francis’ comments regarding those with homosexual tendencies being not admitted to the priesthood or consecrated life, is it acceptable for someone with ssa, but wholly supporting the Church’s teaching, married in a heterosexual union and as a result celibate within that marriage, to enter a third order fraternity such as the lay franciscans? After a life of mental health illness as a result of complex multiple trauma in childhood and early adulthood, I’ve stumbled into the Catholic faith, found my home there, and want deeply to consecrate my life to Jesus through the pattern lived by st francis. But would the Pope allow such a thing, and is it appropriate for me to disclose my struggles in the area of ssa to those assisting me in my formation? Sorry to ask. …I’m so ashamed. I have never acted out and it is deeply painful to finally come to terms with this part of myself, particularly within the context n of my marriage. But i do so want to devote my life to Jesus. I am connected with Courage International. Thank you for reading. Alys
 
alyscavanagh said:
is it acceptable for someone with ssa, but wholly supporting the Church’s teaching, married in a heterosexual union and as a result celibate within that marriage, to enter a third order fraternity such as the lay franciscans?
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Yes, SSA does not bar membership from a Third Order.
 
My secular order does not inquire into your sexual orientation. It does require that you be a Catholic, and in good standing with the Church.
I can’t speak for other third orders, but I would think they are much the same. Frankly, and speaking as a heterosexual, I wouldn’t want to belong to an order that would bar a chaste homosexual.
 
I don’t think you need to be married in order to join a third order, but someone correct me if I am wrong.
 
alyscavanagh said:
Hi…in the light of Pope Francis’ comments regarding those with homosexual tendencies being not admitted to the priesthood or consecrated life, is it acceptable for someone with ssa, but wholly supporting the Church’s teaching, married in a heterosexual union and as a result celibate within that marriage, to enter a third order fraternity such as the lay franciscans? After a life of mental health illness as a result of complex multiple trauma in childhood and early adulthood, I’ve stumbled into the Catholic faith, found my home there, and want deeply to consecrate my life to Jesus through the pattern lived by st francis. But would the Pope allow such a thing, and is it appropriate for me to disclose my struggles in the area of ssa to those assisting me in my formation? Sorry to ask. …I’m so ashamed. I have never acted out and it is deeply painful to finally come to terms with this part of myself, particularly within the context n of my marriage. But i do so want to devote my life to Jesus. I am connected with Courage International. Thank you for reading. Alys
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Honestly I’m more concerned about your relationship with your spouse. Do they know about your SSA?

I would disclose to any order I was considering joining. Personally I disagree with the stance that one should not be admitted to the priesthood or consecrated life if they have SSA though (I’m more concerned with them accepting the teaching and living chastely) so I’m probably not the best person to ask. One of the usual reasons given (too much temptation) is not relevant in the case of third order so I would find an order I was interested in and ask (anonymously if it’s easier for you).
 
Don’t see why that would be a problem with a secular, dispersed third order.
 
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Thanks everyone. .yes I’ve been honest with my spouse throughout this journey. We are getting counseling. It’s extremely hard for him. I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive myself for being this way.
 
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I hope you do learn to forgive yourself. If you are truly repentant and are striving to conform your life to Christ’s, He is more than eager to forgive you and tell you to be at peace, that a bright future in Him now opens in front of you. If you are Catholic (or when you become Catholic), you can confess this sin in confession and be 100% assured God completely forgets it too. It is Good News!
 
First, and foremost, I am most sorry you had to endure those things. I was abused as a child, and had to fight SSA myself. I just simply told body, mind, and spirit that I was not going to identify as such and the devil needed to leave me alone on that. Most of SSA is temptation anyway. St. Francis de Sales says that sometimes it’s better to ignore the devil than give credence to him.

I would stick to praying to and imitating St. Francis until you’re actually Catholic. Jesus Hostia; the Sacrament of Reconciliation; and the Sacrament of the Sick (for your past hurts) once you are received should help with the SSA. Don’t burn any bridges right now. You’re in a state of transition, and those are always difficult.

As for third orders, it may depend on the local fraternity. A celibate person with SSA is more likely to be accepted than those who are in relationships. You won’t be able to join until you’ve been Catholic for three years.

In the meantime, wear the Green Scapular with a St. Benedict and Miraculous Medals on it. Pray the Green Scapular prayer. Ask St. Michael the Archangel’s assistance with temptations.

Blessings,
Mrs. Cloisters OP
Lay Dominican
http://cloisters.tripod.com/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/charity/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/holyangels/id9.html/
 
If you have never acted it out then there is no reason to answer any questions that you are not asked.
 
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