Can the devil put thoughts in your mind?

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It is heading towards the right direction. Listen to your Pastor. I can’t believe your priest even suggested divorce! I have been down that road and believe me, no one wins. The kids especially.

If your husband was having an affair that would be hard to forgive. You are grappling with something different. It is still hard, but it isn’t impossible. When my marriage faltered, we went to a few counsellors. They didn’t help. It’s like trying to find a good doctor. Some are just not up to scratch. Then you find a counsellor who is down to earth. Understands divorce is the most damaging solution and reconciliation is the best outcome for the whole family.

Our Pastor, after hearing our different issues, understood, we had serious problems. He said, “This kind of marriage (blended family) is impossible. But with God, nothing is impossible.”

We struggled on for a couple more years but during that time we had found a good counsellor. He helped us set boundaries so the kids (6 all up) didn’t consume so much of the time we had for each other. Set priorities straight. We were each others priority. And we both created new ground by compromise.

We have benefited so much from the whole experience. The problems actually improved our ability to give to the other and put our love to work in the marriage. You can’t have the sweet without the bitter.

God helped us. We would pray together for our marriage. I prayed for him, though, he had hurt me so much. There is no better spiritual medicine than to pray for someone who has hurt you. Your husband needs prayer for God to help him see that the things he has been looking at and doing (?) are affecting his way of thinking and taking him and his family own the road of destruction. He needs to get his head in the bible. Listen to apologists like Ravi Zacharius who will show him how destructive porn is and help him see things in the light of God’s Word.

You know, when I went thru my marriage problems, I just wanted out. A divorce was so much easier than to stay and work at the marriage. I thought it was all his fault. Why did he betray me like this? Life would be better if I could go back to being on my own. No husband.

I am so, so glad I didn’t divorce him. God showed me what I needed to do. I had to look at my faults not just his. Now, I have a husband who is the love of my life. God changed both of us as he carried us over the cracks that were destroying our marriage.

I know the devil is around but God has your back! When Wigglesworth woke because he sensed an evil presence, he saw Satan at the other end of the room. Wigglesworth said “Oh, it’s only you”. Rolled over and went back to sleep.

I didn’t give the devil a glancing thought. I just concentrated on the things God was showing me. Read my bible. Prayed for my husband. I started calling him by endearing names, like sweetheart, darling. Telling him I loved him. Looking at his good qualities. No one is all bad. The things I first loved about him were still there. Just covered up by my anger, resentment and insistence he should be treating me better.

Eventually, the cycle broke. I had forgiven him and forgotten all the hurt. We don’t talk about it. But we know how God turned it for good.

One last thing. God showed me, if I didn’t forgive my husband, God wouldn’t forgive me. That’s scriptural, so I knew I needed to listen to God and try everything I could to get past my unforgiveness.

Dont give up on your husband. Don’t give up on God. Abide in Him like a branch connected to the vine and He will get you both to a place where you will have a happy marriage and a united family.
We have been agreeing in prayer for you and your husband.

Carmen
Carmen,

Thank you for your long response. What type of marriage problems were you having? Did your husband cheat on you? My Pastor only suggested divorce if my husband didn’t change his ways and continued to go to strip clubs. However, since my husband has stopped going, my Pastor said that I should forgive him and give him another chance.

I do believe “evil” is trying to keep the memories of hurt and pain that my husband has caused me in my mind. It seems that ever time I reach out to get help, something blocks my efforts. For example, when I tried to see my Catholic Marriage Counselor for the first time, my GPS stopped working. I got lost and couldn’t find her office. When I tried to look up a Christian Forum Website my computer crashed. When it finally went back on, the website was nowhere to be found. When I tried to call my Priest for an appointment, the numbers on my cell phone wouldn’t register. I had to try 10 times to punch in his phone number and it finally began to dial his number. I do believe this is evil putting road blocks to stop me from receiving the spiritual help that I need to save my marriage. I have many examples of “weird” stuff going on. These are just a few things that have been happening.

I am going to pray very hard. I am going to ask God to give me the strength that I need to forgive my husband.

Please continue to pray for me.

:gopray2:
 
Carmen,

Thank you for your long response. What type of marriage problems were you having? Did your husband cheat on you? My Pastor only suggested divorce if my husband didn’t change his ways and continued to go to strip clubs. However, since my husband has stopped going, my Pastor said that I should forgive him and give him another chance.

I do believe “evil” is trying to keep the memories of hurt and pain that my husband has caused me in my mind. It seems that ever time I reach out to get help, something blocks my efforts. For example, when I tried to see my Catholic Marriage Counselor for the first time, my GPS stopped working. I got lost and couldn’t find her office. When I tried to look up a Christian Forum Website my computer crashed. When it finally went back on, the website was nowhere to be found. When I tried to call my Priest for an appointment, the numbers on my cell phone wouldn’t register. I had to try 10 times to punch in his phone number and it finally began to dial his number. I do believe this is evil putting road blocks to stop me from receiving the spiritual help that I need to save my marriage. I have many examples of “weird” stuff going on. These are just a few things that have been happening.

I am going to pray very hard. I am going to ask God to give me the strength that I need to forgive my husband.

Please continue to pray for me.

:gopray2:
I am sorry my response was so long.

In answer to your question, I remarried after being on my own for moire than 13 years. We now are a combined family. We each have 3 children. A year into our marriage, my husband’s son started to build his home as an owner builder. I encouraged my husband to go and help him. But it turned into an all consuming project. He even refused to help do our preparations for Christmas dinner which a lot of family members usually attend. Everything to do with this house went wrong. It took up so much of my husband’s time and had become his first priority, that I was left alone a lot. Our marriage was unrecognizable to what it had been. I begged him to bring the house demands into a better balance but he wouldn’t compromise. By the 3rd year, our marriage was in real trouble. 4th year, still no compromise. Our home was neglected. Our marriage was not a priority. I knew, if I made him choose, he would have chosen to keep building this house. That, for me was the point where I felt I was on my own. We just lived together. I went to sleep in another bedroom. Back and forth like that for another 2 years. We saw my psychologist who managed to get him to make a compromise of 1 day a week after our 6 week holiday. During the holiday, our marriage improved and was no longer at breaking point.

It is improving all the time. We have been married 7 years but his son’s house is not even at lock up yet.

My husband asks me how you are going. We are both keeping you in our prayers.

Carmen
 
The devil tempted Jesus and put thoughts in his mind, God allowed the devil to mess with Jobs life. Yes the power of the devil and evil is very real and it seeks to desroy what God has made. But have faith! we are stronger with the blood of Jesus we can subdue demons and the devil cause even demons know there is a God.
 
Saint John Chrysostom wrote:It is not the devil but men’s own carelessness which causes all their falls and all the ills of which they complain.
Depends on the context in which the great Saint wrote it, IMHO.
 
Depends on the context in which the great Saint wrote it, IMHO.
Let us therefore repeat that by underlining today the existence of demonic reality the Church intends neither to take us back to the dualistic and Manichaean speculations of former times, nor to propose some rationally acceptable substitute for them. She wishes only to remain faithful to the Gospel and its demands. It is clear that she has never allowed man to rid himself of his responsibility by attributing his faults to the devil. The Church did not hesitate to oppose such escapism when the latter manifested itself, saying with Saint John Chrysostom: “It is not the devil but men’s own carelessness which causes all their falls and all the ills of which they complain” (122).

(122) De Diabolo Tentatore, Homil. II, PG 49, 259.
vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_19750626_fede-cristiana-demonologia_en.html

Excerpt from De Diabolo Tentatore, Homil. II2. Perhaps ye have not yet understood what has been said. Therefore it is necessary that I should say it again more clearly. Let there be one antagonist. But let there be also two athletes about to wrestle against him, and of these two athletes let one be consumed with gluttony, unprepared, void of strength, nerveless; but the other diligent, of good habit, passing his time in the wrestling school, in many gymnastic exercises, and exhibiting all the practice which bears upon the contest. If then thou takest away the antagonist, which of these two hast thou injured? The slothful, pray, and unprepared, or the earnest one who has toiled so much? It is quite clear that it is the earnest one: For the one indeed is wronged by the slothful, after the antagonist has been taken away. But the slothful, while he remains, is no longer injured on account of the earnest. For he has fallen, owing to his own slothfulness.

I will state another solution of this question, in order that thou mayest learn, that the Devil does not injure, but their own slothfulness everywhere overthrows those who do not take heed. Let the Devil be allowed to be exceeding wicked, not by nature, but by choice and conviction. For that the Devil is not by nature wicked, learn from his very names. For the Devil, the slanderer that is, is called so from slandering; for he slandered man to God saying “Doth Job reverence thee for nought? but put out thine hand, and touch what he hath, see if he will not blaspheme thee to thy face.”578 He slandered God again to man saying “Fire fell from heaven and burnt up the sheep.”579 For he was anxious to persuade him, that this warfare was stirred up from above, out of the heavens, and he set the servant at variance with the master, and the master with his servant; rather he did not set them at variance, but attempted to indeed, but was not able, in order that whenever thou mayest set another servant at variance with his master, Adam with God, and believing the Devil’s slander, thou mayest learn that he gained strength, not owing to his own power but from that man’s slothfulness and carelessness. He is called the Devil therefore on that account. But to slander, and to refrain from slander is not natural, but an action which takes place and which ceases to take place, occurring and ceasing to occur. Now such things do not reach the rank of the nature or of the essence of a thing. I know that this consideration about essence and accident is hard to be grasped by many. But there are they who are able to lend a finer ear, wherefore also we have spoken these things. Do you wish that I should come to another name? You shall see that that also is not a name which belongs to his essence or nature. He is called wicked. But his wickedness is not from his nature, but from his choice. For even this at one time is present, at another time is absent. Do not thou then say this to me that it always remains with him. For it was not indeed with him at the beginning, but afterwards came upon him; wherefore he is called apostate. Although many men are wicked, he alone is called wicked by pre-eminence. Why then is he thus called? Because though in no way wronged by us, having no grudge whether small or great, when he saw mankind had in honour, he straightway envied him his good. What therefore could be worse than this wickedness, except when hatred and war exist, without having any reasonable cause. Let the Devil then be let alone, and let us bring forward the creation, in order that thou mayest learn that the Devil is not the cause of ills to us, if we would only take heed: in order that thou mayest learn that the weak in choice, and the unprepared, and slothful, even were there no Devil, falls, and casts himself into many a depth of evil. The Devil is evil. I know it myself and it is acknowledged by all, yet give heed strictly to the things which are now about to be said. For they are not ordinary matters, but those about which many words, many times, and in many places arise, about which there is many a fight and battle not only on the part of the faithful against unbelievers but also on the part of the faithful against the faithful. For this is that which is full of pain.
 
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