Can this be an addiction or just a bad habit?

[gardenswithkids]

…* how can I stop this? Are we ever fully* free from our vices? …*. *

Hi Whatevergirl,

We all face sin and temptation of one kind or another in this world. I expect we will be fully free from our vices in heaven, but until then we must keep up the good fight. Completely stopping shopping would be hard if not impossible unless your husband or other family members make all neccessary purchases, (or unless you become completely self-suffient by growing your own crops and lifestock, weaving your own fabric, sewing your own clothes, etc. etc.) there is need for some of the things you shop for.

Here are some ideas I find helpful that might help you:

Learn to distinguish “need” from “want”. What helped me learn this better was when I decided to boycott products from a country known for it’s human rights violations. China provides many of the goods purchased in America, so avoiding purchases from there dramatically changed my shopping habits. I continued to shop–sometimes I had to shop longer and spend more money to purchase an item made in a different country, but it helped me to stop buying lots of unneccessary items.

Severely limit or completely eliminate internet shopping. I find internet shopping not nearly as enjoyable as brick-and-mortor shopping. It gives me little to no interaction with other humans and it doesn’t offer the touch and smell. Marketers say people spend more on the average purchase on-line compared to what they’ll spend at stores.

Don’t hide purchases from your husband. You saw your husband’s reaction. He loves you, and he deserves better.

Learn to enjoy visits to the grocery store. Grocery stores are about the only places I shop on a regular basis anymore. I don’t mean to turn your shopping addiction into a food addiction, but purchasing and preparing food for your family is a neccessity, so you might as well enjoy it! Just think, on a regular basis, you can shop guilt-free! These are the purchases we usually pray over, “Bless us, oh Lord, and these Thy gifts…”

 

[mercyangel]

Maybe next time you are really tempted to buy something, instead you could take the money and buy food for the food bank. There is always a need for that and in this way, you could turn your “bad habit” into a blessing for someone in need. There was a book written by chef Graham Kerr. It was called “Recipe for Life.” In it he talked about how we could take money that we all spend on things we don’t need (such as coffee, meals out, etc) and use that money in a way that would help someone in need. I think that is a wonderful idea. And just think if we all did that every now and then! Wouldn’t the world be a better place? God bless you and good luck!

 

[baltobetsy]

WG, I understand perfectly the feeling of elation you describe when making a purchase. Suddenly, the world just looks a little better. Too bad it doesn’t last.

I have taken this to confession more than once - rather close together, too - and the second time, the priest said something very obvious, but it touched me deeply anyway. He said, “You are trying to comfort yourself by doing these things. Let Jesus comfort you.”

Our financial situation has cured me of capricious spending now - my thrills are limited to the grocery store and the dollar store these days.

Maybe when you feel the attraction of internet shopping, you could stop for a few minutes and give your worries to Jesus and see how well He can comfort you.

Betsy

 

[flyingfish]

I guess it depends on how much you are spending, and whether you can afford it. If you’re spending money you need to pay bills, sure it’s a problem.

 

[Irish_Becca]

Oh, Whatevergirl, you’re so sweet. I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. I have kept you in my prayers. You’re lucky to have such a nice husband.

In Japan, all the military wives were addicted to shopping because we were lonely, felt isolated in a new place, missed our families, and just didn’t have anything better to do. I don’t think I had a shopping “addiction” per se, but I definitely would feel happy doing my online shopping, and then enjoy looking forward to the package coming.

But, I was trying to save money, so I found that what helped me was just doing the online shopping and putting things in my cart, but then not buying them. Maybe this could help? Then again, maybe it’s something you should just avoid altogether. Have you considered a support group or therapist?

I’m praying for you!!

 

[Zelie_Louis]

Anyone questioning an addiction or addictive behaviors should consult a mental health practitioner for evaluative purposes, not CAF posters. This thread is now closed.