God heard me!!! I went to visit my wife and daughter at her mother’s house…to try and give her a break and allow her to rest and relax, remember she is raising a 10 month old and she is almost 5 months pregnant. I spent time with my daughter, we went for a walk, we played on the floor with all her toys. I was even going to bathe her, but the wife said her mother had already done it earlier. I put her to sleep, and went to talk with the wife at the kitchen table. I asked her if they could use any of the appliances or furniture from our house, while she was there at her mom’s, and I could see it tore her apart to see her hopes and dreams of having her own little place to raise her children going down the drain. I tried my best to remain strong, I wanted so bad to hug her and tell her it’s going to be okay, butI didn’t, I felt she would push me away, plus I know I’d only make it worse. So i told her to take care, and I’d see them again tomorrow (today!). When I was on my way home, she sent me a text msg, telling me how it was hard for her to accept the fact that we would no longer be together. I told her to just leave it in God’s hands, and if we’re meant to be, then we will. She said she remembers being a little girl, and all her friends wanted this big house…she said not her…she just wanted a simple little home to raise a family in. It hurt me so bad, to know that I had been the one to crush those dreams, and thought I would never get the chance to rebuild this marriage. We continued texting one another, and she finally asked…“if I’m willing to go back, how would things be different?” I explained to her that I know what I need to do. I told her I am going to talk to a priest today, and will seek the sacrament of reconciliation as soon as I can, I will repent, and sin no more. Things kept looking up, and I finally called her. We agreed to try and make things work. I have already talked to a lady about Retrouvaille, I think my wife would be okay with that. To sum it all up, I know this is only by the grace of God, that he touched her in some way, to give “us” another chance. She even said she knows we must uphold the promise we made before God, and that when she married me, it was because she knew I was the man she wanted to be with forever. I can’t explain what I’m feeling right now. It’s alot of joy, yet I’m scared. I will continue to pray that God help me stay on the correct path, and not screw this up. I know what must be done, I just have to “man up” and do it, but I know I can only do it with the Lord’s help…it’s not something I can face alone. I cannot thank you, my brothers and sisters in Christ, enough for your prayers, kind words, and guidance. To me this is what a Catholic Community should be like, not judging one another, but offering help to those in need, as many of you have done for me. Now for those of you who are here to criticize and judge, no one is perfect, but God. I pray that one day your eyes may be opened, as have mine. Regardless, I take your comments constructively, and use them in the best way that I can. I am in awe at this moment at the mercy of our Lord. When I went to pray on Monday, I knelt before the cross with a heavy heart. I tried my best to ask for forgiveness, and suddenly the pain came pouring out. I cried like a baby and was truly seeking forgiveness, though I felt unworthy. It felt like 10 five gallon buckets of pain being poured out one after another…and jesus picked it all up, and told me “it’s gonna be okay”. I felt better after leaving, and now, I have been given another opportunity. I do not take this lightly, and am well aware of my previous actions, accept full responsibility, and know what I must do to remain in the grace of God. Again, a veryvery sincere and heartfelt Thank You to all of you who have been there in spirit and prayer these past few days. I am forever greatful. God has used you all as instruments in growing His kingdom, and to that I cannot Thank you enough. Until we meet again, maybe when we meet in heaven, I will get a chance to thank each of you in person. May God Bless You, today, always, and forever. Thank You!
Bryan
Excellent suggestion!