Cancelling a sponsored child

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I had a good number of sponsored kids and then due to a job change we can’t really keep them all. This was rather sudden and unexpected. So, I call a number and my charges get cancelled…but…there is a child on the other end. This doesn’t have much to do with money for most of them because they are not dropped from their program. But because they are typically orphans, the connection we’ve established would be terrible to break. To many, we are their family. We write regularly and always send photos and encourage them. For this to stop…how do I do that?
One said before I came into her life she had no hope, after her mom died.
It’s been great to give to various organizations, Catholic and general ones, and I know we’ve done a lot of good by doing so, but it’s an awkward position to be in. I know it happens every single day all the time. And for some of them, we sent extra food or gifts and those stopping would be quite noticeable, especially if you live in a hut and are hungry! But the math doesn’t work now and I cannot keep them all. Help!!! What would Jesus do here? (And no, I cannot stay in touch if I cancel).

I chose places where the kids have tons of need, such as parts of Africa and South America, and the middle East. I even tried to add a few kids in the US such as foster kids but to no avail; all the organizations cited privacy concerns, etc. They would be happy to get a check but nothing more than that. Anyway, the organizations I’ve used have been great, no complaints there! Typically I know the people who actually go over there and meet my kids. One brought a doll I bought for a child who never got a gift before in her life, and sent me the photos. Very well run.
 
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Is there no possibility to maintain pen long distance contact without sponsoring anymore?
 
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God bless you for your kindness.

I was in a similar situation a few years back. The sponsoring organisation (then known as ‘CFCA’, now called ‘Unbound’) has a number of sponsors who are willing to take up incomplete sponsorships, whether due to temporary or permanent financial setback; this is to ensure that there is no gap for the child receiving the services. Perhaps your organisation has a similar policy in place? :).
 
The charities who run this sort of “sponsorship” program do not kick out a child because one donor dropped out. Be at peace, there are other sponsors out there and usually there are Catholic schools/clinics/parishes on the ground. Heck, this might result in those families in South American heading back over to their Parish.
 
Yep, CFCA is one of the very very few Catholic groups out there. They have a good process in place.
 
Wow, one is from Unbound and my child there is an orphan. I provided her boarding tuition over and above the sponsorship “fees.” Before she had to walk over a mile to school from her relatives house. She is soo thankful to have the boarding option now. Even if she gets a new sponsor, not sure she can stay in boarding school. For some of the other kids , my stopping a donation makes no difference because the organization still keeps them in the program BUT they will not get my monthly letters and we really have established a bond. It is like giving up a child, which makes this so hard.
 
Unbound does not allow sponsors to send gifts, only money and letters.

"NO PACKAGES, PLEASE
Our international offices will no longer accept packages. We ask sponsors not to send packages to their sponsored friends, as gifts can be lost, damaged or stolen in the mail. When packages do arrive safely, the time required for our field staff to pick up, process and deliver them can be considerable. Our policy allows our staff to focus on delivering sponsorship benefits, letters of encouragement and personal support to sponsored friends and their families. The best gift you can give your friend is a letter or card with some encouraging words. A photo of you or your family is also a great gift. It’s easy to send and will be treasured by your friend. Children and elders often say getting a letter from their sponsor is their favorite part of sponsorship. For more information, contact us at (800) 875-6564 or mail@unbound.org."

Unbound also does not permit people outside of the sponsorship to direct letters to a specific person "It is against our child protection policies to be in unsupervised communication with your sponsored friend. "

I promise you, this child is not going to be kicked out of the program because you dropped out. That is not how the Catholic organizations work. While you do get to write and recieve letters from one person, it is not a complete 1:1 situation. The charity knows that people have to stop for various reasons, it happens every single day.

If it were truly 1:1, there would be times when they would say “we have no more persons available to sponsor, we will wait list you until a person opens up!”. Each person in the program is sponsored by more than one person, by general undirected donations, some way that they have worked out long before you.

Call them and they will assure you that your penpal is not going to be tossed out.
 
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Yes, some of my programs I give $25 a month above the sponsorship and it goes to the child 100%. Every now and then a bigger gift. Usually she buys food or school supplies. So if I quit, she will not have that food or those supplies. I send packages to them if clothes and such…I get photos when they arrive! I cancelled many of my kids where my stopping does not financially change them. I kept mof unbound for now because that girl…I paid over and above for boarding school and I want her to stay. Still sad about the bond I formed with the others I let go. Once I dropped a child then changed my mind and after a month sponsored her. She told me “My sadness lasted a few days.” Ouch. Happy to have her back! So there is a one on one bond with all my programs. I still have a bunch of kids to encourage and send extra to. All allow one sponsor per child for writing. We typically send and receive a letter per month. So, we really bond fast.
 
Some arguments against this approach. It’s an old article but I think still relevant.

Simply... Why You Should Not Sponsor A Child

newint.org newint.org

You might want to help a poor child in the Third World.
But sponsoring them is not the best way. Here is an NI
summary of the disadvantages of child sponsorship. Not all of
these criticisms apply to every agency. But all sponsorship
programmes have at least some of these defects.

FAMILY RIFTS
Focusing on individuals often means that aid agencies arbitrarily single out children or families for preferential treatment. The chosen few may receive extra food, education, clothes, medical treatment and gifts which others do not. Brothers, sisters or other families become jealous. And parents can feel humiliated because outsiders are providing things which they cannot - or frustrated that only one of their children receives help.

POLITICAL PAWNS
The way in which a child or family is chosen for sponsorship may reflect the political orientation of the aid agency involved rather than the needs of the child. In order for a child to qualify its parents may have to cease certain forms of political or religious activity - or the child may be pressured to take up activities like reading the Bible. This conditional giving violates the rights of the child to choose its own beliefs.

MAINTAINING DEPENDENCE
The sponsored child is constantly reminded that they are the ‘poor relation’. They must always be prepared to show gratitude to the ‘rich cousins’ on whose charity they depend. The best aid projects foster initiative and enterprise in those they help. Sponsorship programmes always run the risk of fostering dependence.

CULTURAL CONFUSION
The exchange between child and sponsor can be culturally insensitive to the child’s way of life. Children may know nothing about Christmas, say, but find themselves encouraged to send Christmas cards. Imagine you were a Christian and a wealthy Arab sponsored your child and sent them presents and pictures of their sumptuous lifestyle along with a copy of the Koran to read.

PERPETUATING IGNORANCE
Sponsorship schemes claim to offer cultural interchange between donor and child. But this is generally very limited. Letters from child to sponsor are usually censored to remove requests for money, complaints from disillusioned families and all mention of politics. Professional letter-writers and translators are sometimes used to handle the correspondence - or staff may dictate letters to children according to a sample provided in a manual. The donor finds out little about the child or its culture.

… see above link for full details
 
Thanks. Mine typically are older, age 15 to 20. They write their own letters and they are amazing. I do have a few younger. I use a service like Amazon to send in country gifts of clothes and extra food. No shipping! I have some younger, too. I just got a 2 page letter from my 18 year old girl, and she is so encouraged by my letters, and she is one I can keep. Trying to prioritize orphans. Anyway, I will simply have to go down to a number we can afford now. The organization s include some smaller ones and we have monthly letters or Skype calls with the kids. I talk about the sky a lot, and try to give them a sense of awe and wonder.
 
OP, I appreciate what you are trying to do here, but I agree with TheLittleLady that your description of this program sounds odd and prone to a lot of misuse/ corruption.

I myself would avoid a charity like this and donate to something where there is a bit more of an arms-length relationship between the giver and the children or young people receiving the benefits. To say nothing of one where there is a more reasonable age cutoff for “sponsored child”.

An 18-year-old is not an orphan child, they are an adult. And they are well past the age when they should be writing personal letters to a donor that seem designed to keep said donor sending money and boxes of Amazon gifts. Sorry but that is just creepy.
 
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She is finishing up school and will age out soon. It has been a blessing helping her, and she will always be in our prayers and heart. She passed some tough exams and we are so proud of her!
 
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