Candidate and Confession. Help!

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charmed0723

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So Easter Virgil is right around the corner and it’s time for me to face it I have to go to confession. My fiancee has it so easy, he get’s baptize and he is good to go lol. So what I’m asking for is any advice from other Candidates on your first confession. My sponsor had a hard time explaining it to me cause she never really had a first confession like mine. I want to totally be open but then i’m scare to tell to much. Then i have faults from the past which i no longer do, i don’t even think the way my old self did, do i ask forgiveness for that as well, how far back should i go? Should i meet with the priest privately face to face, go to appt time confession or to a larger Penance services? I’m reading and praying about this. I’m looking forward to it don’t get me wrong, everyone has told me about the beauty of it. That i will feel so much better afterward. But any advice to calm my nerves would help.
Thank you, thank you
Y
 
For first Confession, it is more relaxed if you maken an appointment. An appointment can be for face to face or behind-the-screen confession (when you call the Parish, say you want to schedule confession and you feel more comfortable using the screen.

You need to get ahold of a good examination of conceince.

Scott Hahn’s “Lord Have Mercy” is a good book. Here are some on line.

ewtn.com/library/YOUTH/CONFESS.TXT

or

ewtn.com/library/SCRIPTUR/CONFESSI.TXT

You need to confess all serious sins since your Baptism. Father will help you through, let him know it is your very first confession.

It wil be a wonderful day for you!
 
My first confession was kind of like an ambush…before i knew it i was in the middle of it! I made an appointment with the priest to talk about discerning my direction, and then i asked when i could make a confession and BOOM! Stole was on and i was in the hot seat! The priest helped my through it, went through the ten commandments and he asked probing questions.

I had a good 7 years of junk to talk about, and I just told him everything that came into my head. Whatever the Holy Spirit felt i had to get out. The best way is just to say it. If the priest needs more info he’ll ask you some questions. But really, the best is just say what comes to mind.

Since then i’ve been back mannnnnnnnnnnny times, more than i like. Confession is a powerful sacrament, it’s like a mini miracle every time! You might not feel the healing right away, but it will come.Trust Jesus, he comes cloaked in the words of the priest. I would highly recommend an appointment.
 
My first advice is don’t stress out too much! Not to say confession is no big deal, but think of it in the positives, what a powerful Sacrament it is and how wonderful it will be after you get it all out!

I agree, call and make an appointment, then you won’t have to worry about taking up too much time and the line outside.

My first confession was kind of like revelations, “an ambush…before i knew it i was in the middle of it!” 😃 I spent a number of days playing phone tag and when I finally talked to Monsignor he asked if I could come in an hour. :ekk: 😃 He went through the 10 Commandments with me, talking a little bit about what each one covers and then asking if I had anything to confess. Then at the end he asked if there was anything else.

But the end is the most amazing thing ever! He put his hands on my head (I didn’t face to face) and prayed the prayer of absolution! :heaven: Then he gave me a big hug and said “welcome home!” Just that feeling of cleanness and floating on air I had the rest of the day was amazing! 😃
 
I am a candidate, and did my first confession about two weeks ago. I would say, definitely make an appointment for a face to face confession. I had about 25 years worth of sin to confess, and didn’t want to have to deal with time pressure because of a line outside the confessional.

How far back do you go? All the way! Every mortal sin you can think of since baptism. For me, that called for a very serious, almost painful examination of conscience. Yes, some of the stuff I confessed was ancient history, and not the type of thing I’m still tempted to do. **Doesn’t matter. **Bring it to Jesus. Let Him sort it out. 🙂

Is it hard? Yeah. There were a lot of times during the Sacrament that I had to stop and re-muster my courage.
Is it worth it? Yes!
You can do it. Pray hard and charge in! 🙂

God bless!
 
Praise be to God!

If you want to make a priest feel really good about his vocation…dump it all on him. He has heard everything…trust me… I was there before you. Or as a friend of ours said…just tell him you killed a man in Reno. 😉

Tell him all your mortal sins that comes to mind and the number as best you can. Be humble by all means. It’s a very humiliating experience but very joyful when you’re finished. Look for signs of the Holy Spirit. I’ve had some very profound experiences.

Review the 10 commandments. Write em down if you need to initially. Cradle Catholics get lost too. If you forget something, don’t worry, you’re okay just remember to tell the priest the next time that you forgot a major sin, tell it and move on. If he needs to stop you he will. For you own sake I’d also tell the venials if you can think of them too. But if you forget on don’t fret. The intent is there. Just DO NOT WITHOLD. That is a mortal sin in itself. So do the best you can. Accept absolution with grace and know that God forgives you through the sacrament. Some practicing Protestants may not have actual mortal sin to confess.

Criteria for Mortal sin:
  1. It must be a mortal sin
  2. You must know it’s a mortal sin
  3. You must be free to choose to commit the sin. Being forced doesn’t count. Rape, gun to your head, etc. something like that.
    It’s actually a very wonderful gift. It gets easier with time.
And go every month at the least. It gets more difficult if you let too much time span and it’s much easier to fall back into old sins without the sacrament.
 
When I went through RCIA, they scheduled a special evening for all 1st adult confessions and brought in extra priests. I got a little notebook about 2 months in advance (because that is just my personality). I wrote down all of the major stuff that I could remember going back to my baptism at age 18. I carried the book around because sometimes seeing something on TV would remind me of something else to write down.

All of that being said, I probably was only in there about 15 minutes. I said, “I did X for 10 years. I did Y for a year.” If it was a one time thing, I said that too. I confessed some things that probably were not mortal because I did not know better at the time even though they were “serious sins.”

Lots of us cried and snotted before, during and/or after our 1st confession, but I can tell you that everyone said that they felt the weight lifted from them with that absolution.

Our priests told us in advance not to worry because they have really heard just about anything that you can imagine many times. They said that they pretty much forget what they heard before they even get through the end of the confession line. They are not trying to remember your sins to look at you oddly later.

BTW, it is harder to wait and do the 1st confession after Easter if someone just got baptized. I sponsored a catechumen who had to go afterward instead of going with the group or even the rest of the parish during Lent. I met her at the local abbey on a 1st Friday well before mass so that she would not be going alone.

I was there waiting in line with her. I made sure that she knew what would happen and that she had an adult confession pamphlet with all of the info including the Act of Contrition in it. We were able to sit in line and then do our penance and go to mass. I suggest that any candidate or catechumen who will confess for the 1st time outside of a group time ask their sponsor to go with them.
 
So I did it. 😃 Was awesome. Not at all what I thought. The priest was so kind and understanding. Got a tour of the whole church since we couldn’t find a place to talk lol. I thought i would be there forever but is was like half hour. I ran through my list. Is amazing that you think your sin is so big and the priest is like yes ok next, i guess they hear worst. He talk and gave me such good advice on how to learn to forgive myself now that God has forgiven me, I feel at peace over some that were haunting me. I don’t think i did not one thing right and i had a paper in front of me with instructions. Guess I’ll have to go more often for practice lol. Oh well God knew my heart. I think I will also Go to the Penance Service if something else comes up to see what that’s all about. Your answers were so encouraging read them all before I went. Thank you 👍
 
charmed0723 said:
So I did it. 😃 Was awesome. Not at all what I thought. The priest was so kind and understanding. Got a tour of the whole church since we couldn’t find a place to talk lol. I thought i would be there forever but is was like half hour. I ran through my list. Is amazing that you think your sin is so big and the priest is like yes ok next, i guess they hear worst. He talk and gave me such good advice on how to learn to forgive myself now that God has forgiven me, I feel at peace over some that were haunting me. I don’t think i did not one thing right and i had a paper in front of me with instructions. Guess I’ll have to go more often for practice lol. Oh well God knew my heart. I think I will also Go to the Penance Service if something else comes up to see what that’s all about. Your answers were so encouraging read them all before I went. Thank you 👍
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:extrahappy: Yea! You are home! :extrahappy: That was the other exciting thing about Confession, it was my first officially Catholic thing! 😃 You are almost up to all the other Sacraments! 😃
 
Way to go!!!👍 👍 👍

Just wait till Easter Vigil - it is an amazing experience!!
 
charmed0723 said:
So I did it. 😃 Was awesome. Not at all what I thought. The priest was so kind and understanding. Got a tour of the whole church since we couldn’t find a place to talk lol. I thought i would be there forever but is was like half hour. I ran through my list. Is amazing that you think your sin is so big and the priest is like yes ok next, i guess they hear worst. He talk and gave me such good advice on how to learn to forgive myself now that God has forgiven me, I feel at peace over some that were haunting me. I don’t think i did not one thing right and i had a paper in front of me with instructions. Guess I’ll have to go more often for practice lol. Oh well God knew my heart. I think I will also Go to the Penance Service if something else comes up to see what that’s all about. Your answers were so encouraging read them all before I went. Thank you 👍
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Oh I’m so glad it went well for you, Charmed! :clapping: When I read your original post, you described exactly as I felt beforehand. I just had my first confession on Monday and it was one of the most incredible, transcendent experiences of my entire life. My priest was so wonderful and patient and described everything for me, and receiving absolution… just about indescribable! I’ve hardly been able to stop smiling ever since! :rotfl:

We’re almost there! WOO-HOO!!! :extrahappy:
 
You know i couldn’t agree more. For these non catholic who come on this forum for whatever reason the only way for them to truly understand our faith is to experience it. There is nothing like going to Mass and having our eyes on the Lord and his mercy. I never felt that being a Baptist. I always felt is was always about me, i needed prayer, i need this and that. With going to confession I put away all that past stuff that has been holding me down for so long. My fiancee notice I haven’t had any nightmares. The devil was always in my mine trying to bring up things i have done. For the last month i’ve had these dreams more and more. I believe i’m being tested. Told my priest and he understood. My priest told me about St. Augustine and to read on his life. Wow, i can relate. When he talk about God’s mercy, is was like i really got it for the first time I saw the whole picture on what forgiveness is really about. I ask my priest how do i learn to forgive myself. He was so understanding, and gave me such guidance. This may sound strange to some but i feel “born again” lol, very protestant thing to say. But is like my old self die that day. I’ve been on sky 9 since then. Best part is when he Welcomed me to the church. I was like oh yeah, this is my first sacrament how awesome. Us Catholic should share more about Confession, it was the kindest and most beautiful moment i’ve ever had. Thank you to all, I wish I could fast forward time to the Easter Virgil 🙂 But i’m trying to let every moment sink in. Thank you all, keeping you all in my prayers 🙂
 
I enjoyed reading the experiences of others 1st. confession. Those also who express such joy after their confessions. I wish this web site and all other postings and other title topics could give such, personal testimony of God’s great love and mercy given to each one of you. Thank you for sharing. You all have given me a gift today that is… Inspiration for the building up of my faith as this thread has.

Thanks for sharing

God Bless
 
charmed0723 said:
This may sound strange to some but i feel “born again” lol, very protestant thing to say.
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God makes all things new! Isn’t it awesome??👍 (And each time you receive the Eucharist, you will be “accepting Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior”) I have enjoyed so much reading your posts. I reverted a number of years ago, and that confession was just a wonderful, warm, life-changing experience. To be met with God’s mercy and kindness - you can’t describe it.

I’ve been praying for all of those this Lent who are making First Confessions or going back after “extended absences”. It is so nice to read stories like yours.

Welcome!
 
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