Can't find an answer re: Catholic school

  • Thread starter Thread starter shd157
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

shd157

Guest
Hello all,

I’m a married mom of 2 children, ages 5 and 2. My 5 year old is beginning kindergarten in the fall. My husband and I had agreed that they would attend Catholic school. We toured the school and both fell in love with it. In addition to teaching the Catholic faith, it’s a small school with a lot of family involvement. Our public schools are good, but large, and of course not everyone who sends their children cares to be involved, or even views education as important. After our visit to the school, my husband dropped a bomb: he loved the school, but can’t justify the cost. We both earn around the same amount of money (I work from home to be with the kids but do earn a decent paycheck), but my husband had a business that failed, and he’s saddled with debts. I am not. Using my salary, along with what my husband can afford to contribute while still upholding his business obligations, we CAN afford Catholic school for both kids (daughter will attend for 3 years before son starts). However, it will leave us very little left over. We not be able to save anything for college for them. My husband feels as though it would be irresponsible of us to not save for college. My heart wants them in Catholic school but maybe I’m not able to see the bigger picture because I want it so badly.

I have prayed and prayed for an answer, but I’m simply not hearing God’s call on this. How can I quiet my mind and hear what I am supposed to do? I’m sick with worry about this. I did not have a good experience in public school and wanted my children to avoid it. My daughter loves church and really, really wants to go to “the school where she’ll learn about Jesus”. We don’t qualify for financial aid, because we earn decent money, but are saddled down with the business debt.

I will appreciate any and all advice!!!
 
Can you approach either your parents or his parents and see if they will be willing to contribute to their grandchildren’s Catholic education?
 
Thank you for the suggestion. Unfortunately, that is not an option for us. My husband is from Africa, where his family still lives. They are not very well off, and in the past, we’ve had to support them when they can’t afford food/medicine (his mother is ill, his father is deceased). My own parents are unwillng to help. They don’t see the value in a Catholic education.
 
I’ll be honest with you. We’re not saving a dime for our (soon to be) seven children’s college. I don’t see it as irresponsible, we would rather have them in a good school now. Every family has different views on this issue, but we don’t see paying for college as our responsibility. We will help if we can, but if not I guess they’d better figure it out.

I know this doesn’t help your situation but just how we handle things in our home.
 
It does help, Armywife. I tend to feel the same way, but wasn’t sure if it was…I don’t know…acceptable. I truly believe Catholic school is the right thing for our kids. I’m going to meet with the principal of the public school next week, just to see, but I don’t know.
 
You do not mention if the parish school offers tuition support … our parish school does. There is a endowment fund and fundraisers that keep tuition affordable and that provides direct tuition support. Additionally - our diocese offers tuition assistance … and there is a parish subsidy …

All of the tuition assistance is based upon FAFSA [the same federal form used to apply for college scholarships and PEL grants] application which is the method used to determine income levels used to award the tuition support.

Additionally, our parishioners have the opportunity to provide contributions to wards tuition … an adopt a catholic student - you might day …

I am thinking your parish must have something like this … if not - start a push for an endowment fund, start a tuition support fund raiser … you can’t be the only parents of school age kids with this dilemma!

As far as college … well - a good education will go along ways towards their ability to earn scholarships to college … perhaps better then the local public school …
 
armywife said:
I’ll be honest with you. We’re not saving a dime for our (soon to be) seven children’s college. I don’t see it as irresponsible, we would rather have them in a good school now. Every family has different views on this issue, but we don’t see paying for college as our responsibility. We will help if we can, but if not I guess they’d better figure it out.

I know this doesn’t help your situation but just how we handle things in our home.
Click to expand...
That’s pretty much our take on the college thing, too.

I suppose you could always think of something else you could spend the money on rather than Catholic school.

Plus saving for college… I don’t know. It seems as though unless you save all of it, the small amount you do save will be a drop in the bucket and/or will just ruin your financial aid for the next year. I suppose that is a bad attitude because we should pay for whatever we can for ourselves, but that is just how I see it.

Your kids are little, too, who knows what college finances will look like in 13 years anyway?
 
We are doing everything in our power to keep our kids in Catholic school. It’s tough but my wife and I love the school and volunteer constantly. Kids can get scholarships and/or student loans for college. Talk to the parish for assistance. They may be able to provide some assistance. Good luck and your are in my prayers.
 
One thing I have recently found out is that a lot of the “big” colleges, like the Ivy League schools and others, have a policy that if you get in, you and your family contribute what you can and they arrange the rest through grants and need-based aid. You children would have a much better chance of getting into one of these schools if they had received the superior education of a good Catholic school!
 
I don’t think you have the responsibility to pay for your children’s college. It’s nice if you can, but lots of people have to earn their own way by working hard and getting scholarships and working a part time job. My parents couldn’t afford to pay for any of my brothers and sisters to go to college, but we all managed to get a degree. (Well, except for my one sister who didn’t go to college, but she’s a general manager of a convenience store and makes more money that the rest of us!) If the Catholic school is really important to you and your husband, I would pay for that first. Or, you could save the money and let your daughters do other activities like sports or music. Or you could save the money and take the family on a long trip every summer. Or you could send the kids to summer camp and go on a trip with your husband instead. I guess my point is, if your kids have food, clothes, medical care, a home with two loving parents, a reasonable education, and it’s all covered under a life insurance policy, welll, I think you’ve met your obligation as parents. Anything else you spend is just “being nice”. So do what you think is best and don’t worry about it.
 
That’s a really tough choice. With the rising cost of college and the reality that a vocational or 4 year degree is a requirement for most decent jobs, I think that parents are obligated to help pay the cost of college if they are financially able to. That said, I think kid’s have more resources available to them to cover the cost of college if they have a really great educational foundation to begin with. I’m inclined to say choose the Catholic school, save what little money you can, teach your children to save, and teach your children how to research and apply for grants and scholarships.
 
I believe in Catholic education. I think the value of sending your children there is that they will not only have the educational, but also the spiritual benefits begun on a daily basis as they journey into life.

It is difficult to pay for, no question about that. Perhaps you would consider sending them at least for K-6 or 8 as some do where I live. And don’t forget that there is usually a discount for the second child. Is this a parish school? There may be financial aid available. Make an appointment and ask at the school what may be available.

While it is a noble thing to pay for your child’s college education, I agree with Allegra that it is not solely your responsibility to pay for college. My son recently began high school. From the time he was in middle school, he heard us say how important his grades will be in high school and how they will “count” from now on. He knows that only good grades will allow him to get accepted where he wants to go to college and for what he wants to study. He also knows, like his sister before him, that excellent grades bring scholarship money–serious money for tuition. So far, honor roll for him! 👍

Your child may get that scholarship too. But please don’t think that you alone will have to shell out the rest. There are grants, there are student loans (for your grad to pay off) work-study programs and also a “real” job if only part time.

I guess what I am trying to say is that there are ways of paying for college without sacrificing your child’s Catholic education now. May God bless you and guide you.
 
I agree with the other posters and highly believe in Catholic Education.
I know the challenges… my husband and I also both work full time jobs, and we have 4 children - so the costs are high all around.
We were able to start 2 college funds for the older boys through a state program, but apparently our daughters aren’t going to college (totally kidding) because we haven’t started funds for them at all. I figure our potential only goes up over time to earn more money. We aren’t always “stuck” in the “now”… things can always change. Make the best decision for your family NOW, and don’t worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will bring it’s own worries.

Prayers for your discernment! 🙂
 
armywife said:
I’ll be honest with you. We’re not saving a dime for our (soon to be) seven children’s college. I don’t see it as irresponsible, we would rather have them in a good school now. Every family has different views on this issue, but we don’t see paying for college as our responsibility. We will help if we can, but if not I guess they’d better figure it out.

I know this doesn’t help your situation but just how we handle things in our home.
Click to expand...
This is pretty much how we’ve handled it, though we’re only about to have our fourth. We have 2 children in Catholic school and it is very much a sacrifice (we’re hoping for next year to get tuition assistance because my husband is in grad school for one more year and paying for all three is killing us financially!) but so VERY worth it.

Our thought is that by giving them an excellent start in school, they will more than likely do very well in high school (where they will attend public due to cost) and hopefully get scholarships to university. If not, our state university is actually pretty affordable for in-state residents and they’ll be able to live at home which helps greatly with the cost.
 
We send our kids to catholic schools…and my wife just started working again so that we can do so. We love it. And I agree with much of the advice out there regarding financial assistance as well as the different takes on college costs. But…

Often, the public school system is a viable alternative. I know many kids who did not attend catholic primary school who are well educated, well mannered, and very catholic. Sending your kids to a public school is not the end of the world.

Also, don’t discount your husbands thoughts on this. I am not saying that you should simply cave…but at the same time, don’t dismiss what he thinks is best.

These are tough decsions that parents must make…and often there is no clear answer. We just do the best we can with what we have.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top