Can't pray alone

[Praedicare]

Friends,

I’ve noticed a strange phenomenon in my life: prayer when out in public – whether on the bus, in the park, or liturgically at Mass – is very easy, but prayer when alone is nearly impossible. When trying to pray in my room or another quiet/lonely place, I quickly lose focus, become sad, and feel abandoned by God. It is a painful experience and I resent it very much. In public, somehow the bustle of life and of other people – praying or not praying – makes me sense God’s presence.

I don’t understand these things, as I am a huge introvert. I love silence and strongly dislike crowds. Has anyone else experienced this as a spiritual phenomenon? Any ideas about why I find it distasteful to try to pray alone?

 

[pianistclare]

Perhaps you feel like you’re not “doing it right”. And the distraction can serve as an excuse if you get discouraged.
Many people feel this way.
Truth is, the only “wrong” way to pray is to ask ask ask, and nothing else.
Prayer can be rewarding in nature settings.
In a dim room with nature sounds playing.
In a small chapel with a beautiful crucifix to gaze upon.
I would recommend a book of short reflections. Any retreat center will have oodles to choose from. Take one small segment. Focus. Let you mind go blank, It’s fine. Let God speak to you, in your heart. I’m not talking about hearing an actual voice. But inspiration. Peace. Love.
try this website as well. It’s easy, and very calming…

www.sacredspace.ie

Irish Jesuits. Nice site. Click on the daily meditation and follow the steps. Takes all of 5-10 minutes. A good way to begin…

Peace.

 

[Boy_Wonder]

Try kneeling when you pray alone.

 

[Virga]

Yup I experience this as well. It’s hard to pray in my room alone, even though I’m an introvert.

A nun once told me that sometimes it’s hard to focus on prayer, particularly in regards to mental prayer and contemplation, when you’re an introvert.
It sounds strange, but it makes sense since introverts can have a tendency to think a lot. That’s probably why they don’t get bored easily when they have “nothing to do.” * Some introverts might be prone to daydreaming and have a lot of thoughts that can distract them from the inside.

One thing that helped me was to pray in my car… I’m alone, but it’s outside. I don’t know why it works, but it does. I wouldn’t do it too late in the evening though. When that’s not possible, I try praying somewhere other than my room. I might pray in the dining room or even someone else’s bedroom. I’m still alone most of the time.

If you have free time during the week, go to a chapel or church and spend time with the Blessed Sacrament. It’s quiet, and usually has at least 1 or 2 other people there [or there should be anyway], but you don’t have to worry about them interacting with you.

Try giving yourself some structure, meaning a sort of schedule. When I have too much time and freedom, I end up doing nothing. But when there’s a limited amount of time, it’s easier for me to pray. Just don’t give yourself too little time and rush through prayer.

One last thing… You mentioned feeling abandoned by God and resentment when you’re alone at times. Don’t try to completely avoid that feeling. You might want to figure out why it’s happening. These feelings don’t just come from nowhere. Maybe it’s a way for you to reflect more on your relationship with God. In doing so, you can grow as well. A spiritual director would be helpful for this.*

 

[Micosil]

That’s curious. I personally find it harder to pray in public.

 

[Jerusha]

One last thing… You mentioned feeling abandoned by God and resentment when you’re alone at times. Don’t try to completely avoid that feeling. You might want to figure out why it’s happening. These feelings don’t just come from nowhere. Maybe it’s a way for you to reflect more on your relationship with God. In doing so, you can grow as well. A spiritual director would be helpful for this.

When I am in emotional crisis, I journal. Looking back at what I have written, I can then understand better what is troubling me. This clears my mind for prayer, and I know better what to pray for.

 

[wild_thing]

I like the advice Virga gave above. I would just add that practice makes perfect. Just keep working at it! Explore why you feel resentful praying alone to God. A spiritual director or steady confessor would be great for this.

 

[Robbinson]

You might try the rosary. I find that easy (in fact easier) to pray alone, and then I don’t feel alone as I am praying with Mary. Its is very comforting and the image/visualizing of the mysteries creates a feeling of fellowship - I then continue after the rosary with my personal prayers.

Blessings,

Brian

 

[Rosebud77]

Gardening is a grand place to pray as is simple repetitive handwork eg simple knitting, or eg making jam., preparing food alone.

 

[nuntym]

+JMJ+

I never pray alone, I always ask my guardian angel to pray with me :angel1:

 

[Casilda]

+JMJ+

I never pray alone, I always ask my guardian angel to pray with me :angel1:

This was my first thought, you are NEVER alone when praying. I experience distraction, so before praying I try to produce the most prayer-conducive atmosphere as possible, my prayer nook, holy water, candles, incense, and icons with Jesus, Mary, patron saints, etc. When I feel distracted or an overwhelmeding feeling of aloneness, I attribute it to the devil and imagine the holy spirit there or my guardian angel, helping me get back on track.

 

[AKDee]

One of the ways I feel most connected to God, when praying from my heart, is when I take my dogs for a walk. But I’m still technically alone and no one has to be around. It’s just that when walking, I find it easier to fall into the state of prayer than when simply sitting. Perhaps try to pray when you are doing another mindless activity such as walking?