Caring for a terminally ill parent in my 20s

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Monica12345

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After a long and undiagnosed illness where she physically deteriorated for months, my mom has finally found out her breast cancer has spread to her meninges and she could have less than a week to live. She is only 53. I am 23 and the eldest of four children. The youngest turned 18 today and the whole situation is just breaking my heart I don’t know how we will cope at all. We are all so scared and sad. My nan, her mom, is 85 and lost her only other child years ago. She died suddenly aged 25 of a heart attack. It doesn’t seem right at all for her to lose both children. My mom came home to be with us today but I am scared of how it is all going to happen. My only experience of death was my grandad when I was 7 which my mom and dad protected me from a lot. I hate seeing my dad, Nan and brothers suffer so much. We were always the happiest of families. But I am also struggling to cope with my own suffering as we care for her while her body shuts down yet her beautiful spirit remains unbroken. It is such a tragedy.
 
My heart goes out to you. I was much older when I lost my mother, but it still came too soon. I hope you have someone you can talk to and lean on during this time. If you have to be strong for your other family members, you need someone who can help support you during this time. This is the time to reach out and take advantage of that help.
 
Thank you I will do. It’s just hard imagining the rest of my life etc now but like she always says I just need to take one day at a time. Thanks for the advice and prayers x
 
Hi there. I just saw this post now, and I really wanted to comment and let you know that my heart goes out to you. I can totally sympathize.

I am 26, and am also caring for my mother who is terminally ill with an extremely rare neurodegenerative disease. I know how unbearable it can be to witness; this is not something we should have to face at this age. We should still have our mothers, and they should still be able to live long, fulfilling lives. It’s a heavy weight to carry, and it’s okay to let yourself grieve. It’s okay to take some time for yourself to think, or to get some fresh air, or to go out and distract your mind from those thoughts for a while. Also make sure to never stop praying. I know it’s overwhelming. Some days I don’t even really know how to pray, or what to say - but making the effort to even say a short prayer is very comforting.

Maybe it would also be helpful to seek the help of a mental health counselor who can guide you through the grieving process. Never be afraid to reach out for help. No one should have to carry that burden alone.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers. If you ever need an ear, feel free to send me a message here. God bless you.
 
Hi Monica, I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing troubling times. Hat’s off to you for caring for your Mom!

Do you have the support of hospice nurses? They have very good counselors who are equipped in providing support to you, your siblings and Grandmother.

My prayers are with you Monica. 🙏 Pax Christi.
 
Thank you for this. I am sorry to hear about your situation also; it really is heartbreaking and I think the unfairness of it all is hard to deal with. I will keep you in my prayers also and counsellor May be a good idea.
 
We do have hospice nurses thank you so that should help. The priest has also been to the house and been very good. Thank you so much
 
Monica, I’m sorry you’re going through this. But with a strong loving family, you’ll get through it. I lost my mom in 1988 after a five year cancer battle. She was 61 and I was 32. Our Lord is with all of you during this time and always. Trust in Him even when you’re crying. He’s there with you.
 
Very sorry to hear your sad story also, and thank you for your kind words. I keep praying for strength
 
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