Caring for Shut-ins

[jasm]

After a long absence from the Church, I returned last year. I had a meeting with the priest at which it was decided what my weekly tithe would be and the documents I needed to get annulments,( I got them right away)and RCIA came up. I was so happy to be back. I attended regularly until flu season.

I care for my mother who has Alzheimer’s and is an invalid. If I get sick then she gets sick. What might take me a week or so to shake off could kill her. I caught three different illnesses attending mass.

I was called in the fall about attending RC IA. The sister I spoke with was disappointed that I could not commit an hour a week to classes due to my situation.

How can I fix this? What is the policy for shut-ins in the church. I think since my mothers health depends on me being healthy, that while I am caring for her I should be allowed whatever rights are given to shut-ins. Respite care is not an option in this situation nor is a “baby sitter”. Help.

 

[Pug]

I’m glad you’re back!

If you were already Catholic from years ago, you may not need to go through RCIA. I’d be sure the priest knows your full situation and not just the RCIA director.

If I were unable to get to Sunday mass (I’m a Catholic), I’d let the parish know to have someone who is a EM (or the priest if he has time) bring communion to me and possibly my mother. This might only apply to you once you have received your first Eucharist, if you haven’t yet. Unless your parish is really small, they have people who are trained to visit the sick and whomever is caring for them. They would come with a host in a small container called a pyx. If they come every week, you will get to know the form of the prayers that are associated with it. It is quite easy!

 

[rcn]

Several things seem “irregular” in your post.

1. Your “tithe” is between you and God. The priest has no business knowing what it is, or worse he should not be dictating any amount to you.
2. If you have “returned”, then RCIA should not be necessary. Now perhaps you haven’t received all the sacraments yet (e.g. Confirmation) - if so, they may have asked you to sit in on some of the RCIA sessions as preparation - but technically RCIA is for non-Christians.

To answer your question - based on what you’ve said there is nothing for you to “fix”.

 

[jasm]

Let me rephrase my question. Since I am a full time, 24/7, caregiver to my mother, could televised mass fulfill my Sunday obligation and could the Eucharist be brought to my house. I ask because I am not the one who is sick, but as her caregiver, I am a shut-in too. If this is possible, how do I go about getting permission.
By the way, I am a baptized Catholic who was never confirmed, but did make my First Communion.
Thanks in advance to those who respond!

 

[stbruno]

Televised mass never substitutes for mass. It is an adjunct for shut-ins and a minister of the care will usually bring communion to the household as requested. A priest is the only person who can administer the Sacrament of the Sick or Anointing of the Sick and I suggest you do this annually for your parent you are caring for. As for you, I am sure someone in the parish would be willing to stay with your family member while you attend mass. I know because that’s exactly what I had to do. I just buried my mother after a seven year battle with Alzheimers and I was the primary caregiver. If you don’t seek help, you will experience severe burnout. Help is available. Many hospitals even provide Alzheimer support groups. Get in touch with one. It sounds like you desperately need it. Getting out to church is spiritual nourishment that you will also need to help you through the tougher road ahead of you. And believe me, it gets rougher. God be with you!

 

[rcn]

Caring for the sick dispenses you from your Sunday obligation. A priest can give you a formal dispensation although I don’t think it’s required. Contacting your priest or parish office might be a good thing in any case, as they might connect you to a support group. Don’t let them nag you about RCIA class or not making your “tithe”. You’ve got more important concerns.

If you are able to get some relief help from time to time, whether it allows you to attend Mass or simply to attend to other urgent matters, I’m quite sure God will understand either way.

 

[Pug]

jasm:

Let me rephrase my question. Since I am a full time, 24/7, caregiver to my mother, could televised mass fulfill my Sunday obligation and could the Eucharist be brought to my house. I ask because I am not the one who is sick, but as her caregiver, I am a shut-in too. If this is possible, how do I go about getting permission.
By the way, I am a baptized Catholic who was never confirmed, but did make my First Communion.
Thanks in advance to those who respond!

Since you made your first communion, then I suggest calling the parish and having them bring you communion each week. Don’t forget to go to confession if you haven’t in all these years or if you are aware of a mortal sin. The obligation to fast for an hour before communion is relaxed for the sick and their care givers because it can be exceptionally hard to do for them.

You are automatically dispensed from mass on Sunday and Holy Days if you are caring for the ill and must stay home. It is not a problem at all. Mass on the tv does not work to fulfull the obligation, but you might enjoy it anyway.

Be sure to secure any appropriate sacraments for your mother. Perhaps your parish nurse, if you have one, could find a parishioner who is suitable to watch your mother for 1 hour.

You do not need to get confirmed immediately, but it is helpful in your spiritual life to do so. You’ll have to figure out what is best about postponing any instruction for that or not. Best wishes to you and your mother!