Cases of a Spouse Using Contraception

[Coder]

For cases when a spouse uses contraception or people have repented of surgical contraception, the apologist response is that the Catholic who wishes to follow Church teaching may continue in the marriage without a general requirement for abstinence.

However, I seek to understand this better. Should people in such situations follow NFP? Why would they not need to?

Is it not advisable for the Catholic spouse to take a stand and abstain from relations altogether? If not, why not?

vatican.va/roman_curia/p…demecum_en.html

The Vademecum for Confessors:

Paragraph 13:

1. when proportionally grave reasons exist for cooperating in the sin of the other spouse;

What are “proportionally grave reasons”?

 

[rayne89]

In those cases that people have repented of surgical contraception they are not obligated to use NFP but many do as a sign of their repentance.

 

[Gordon_N]

Coder:

For cases when a spouse uses contraception or people have repented of surgical contraception, the apologist response is that the Catholic who wishes to follow Church teaching may continue in the marriage without a general requirement for abstinence.

However, I seek to understand this better. Should people in such situations follow NFP? Why would they not need to?

Is it not advisable for the Catholic spouse to take a stand and abstain from relations altogether? If not, why not?

What are “proportionally grave reasons”?

On the note of surgical alteration, I can speak first hand. I was altered prior to becoming a Catholic. At my first confession, that was a topic of discussion to say the least. I felt a need to rectify that situation, and did so by means of a reversal. That was not required, as I had received absolution for my sinful act, but I did that to bring God more fully into my life. My wife and I currently practice natural family planning. On the question of abstinence, I would caution that this may cause a larger rift than the contraceptive issue already has. It is my understanding that if one’s spouse is actively using a method of birth control against the other spouse’s desire, it should be a matter of counsel between the two. You, as the “nay” vote on contraceptives, should voice your objections to your spouse, but may still have marital relations, as long as you are not willfully using your spouses contraceptive mentality for your own purposeful gain.