Catechizing "cafeteria Catholics"

[Harp]

Any suggestions on evangelizing to " cafeteria Catholics"? I am a “baby boomer” and most of my friends as well as my sisters and brother practice only the Catholic beliefs they “believe in” For example, missing Mass occasionally, practicing contraception, and not believing in mortal sin seems to be OK with them. However, these are very charitable people as well. Many of them are very giving of their time, talents and treasures to various individuals as well as to the Church. There comments are that as long as they are “good people” that there is no need to have to follow all these “rules” of the Catholic Church.

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[Island_Oak]

Have you ever heard the old line about leading a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink? For some of us, spiritual maturity, including obedience, is a life-long struggle and a goal that’s never quite reached. It’s not really your task to “see to it” that these friends and family fall into line and follow the letter of the law of the Church. While I’m sure it is charitable concern on your part, take the high road and make sure your own house is in order, lead by example, pray for them and leave the rest to God to move them into more full communion in his own way and time.

 

[awalt]

I think lead by example is the best advice besides praying for them (which always seems to work if you ask me). The Bible is rich with examples where leading by examples is the advice given by Christ.

 

[gardenswithkids]

As already mentioned prayer and example may be the best methods of evangelism. But the problem may be that they think…

Harp:

as long as they are “good people” that there is no need to have to follow all these “rules” of the Catholic Church.

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If our relatives and friends believe that they are “good people” they probably will never believe that they actually need Jesus and His Church. Afterall, Jesus came to offer salvation to sinners–and if they aren’t sinners, they don’t need Him! (Hey, I know they need Him; we’re all sinners. But maybe they don’t know that since you say they don’t believe in mortal sin.)

I think pride is the major problem for “cafeteria Catholics” (and for many Protestants too for that matter.) Bowing to the authority of the Church takes humility. And I find it humiliating to see how often I fail despite tryingto follow “the rules”. So ultimately, I think humilty is the answer and not just better catechesis.

 

[gardenswithkids]

As already mentioned prayer and example may be the best methods of evangelism. But the problem may be that they think…

Harp:

as long as they are “good people” that there is no need to have to follow all these “rules” of the Catholic Church.

.

If our relatives and friends believe that they are “good people” they probably will never believe that they actually need Jesus and His Church. Afterall, Jesus came to offer salvation to sinners–and if they aren’t sinners, they don’t need Him! (Hey, I know they need Him; we’re all sinners. But maybe they don’t know that since you say they don’t believe in mortal sin.)

I think pride is the major problem for “cafeteria Catholics” (and for many of us for that matter.) Bowing to the authority of the Church takes humility. And I find it humiliating to see how often I fail despite tryingto follow “the rules”.

So ultimately, I think humilty is the answer and not just better catechesis.

 

[sadowa]

“Prostitutes and thieves will enter before you.” Comes to my mind here. Quoting scripture to bolster positions is interesting. I have known people who have followed every church rule and they are rotten to the core because they never did any of this with love. ( My one lapse into judging individuals here) All they can tell the Lord is I didn’t break your rules because I was afraid of what would happen if I didn’t follow them. It is spurious to say “I wasn’t talking of those Catholics who obey all the rules out of fear I was talking about those that mean it”, because no one can dicsern the Holy Spirit but God. When we see the Little Flower constantly praying that she be made strong in his love we see the primary purpsose of prayer being established: It is for Ourselves first so as to build our capacity to live in his Holy love with others. It is is up to God to judge who gets into heaven. What about those who don’t even grow up hearing about Christianity because it is banned in their countries? Is someone going to assert all those billions are going to hell? I counter it is those filled with judgement that better watch out. The leap from judgement to malice to hate is small.

The Catholic Church is a marvelous thing and a true champion of humanity. However, as in the matter of the earth centric universe and its persecution of Galileo the church brought its full force against a fact of science. Finally exhonerating Galileo long after his death. Sometimes I don’t think Catholics realize how bad this type of thing looks to non Catholics or lapsed Catholics. Of course this does not detract from the Church’s right to fight evils such as abortion. Yet during the American Civil War several bishops supported the side of slave holders. Can anyone imagine such a speech from the pulpit now. I am not arguing moral relativism as an alternative to judgement. No I am saying that in the case of astronomy or slavery less than one hundred fifty years ago, the judgement of the church was wrong. It is best to judge as little as possible and work for change. It is great works like Tsunami relief, or small works like helping a neighbor with a meal that preach. Certainly one can be a phony withing the context of charity too by seeking personal glory. Yet really doing his works is hard. Work dedicated to Christ is in essence merciful. By its nature it rejects judgement. In substance it is pure. In value it is infinite.

Sincerely,

AC

 

[Seven_Sorrows]

Harp:

Any suggestions on evangelizing to " cafeteria Catholics"? I am a “baby boomer” and most of my friends as well as my sisters and brother practice only the Catholic beliefs they “believe in” For example, missing Mass occasionally, practicing contraception, and not believing in mortal sin seems to be OK with them. However, these are very charitable people as well. Many of them are very giving of their time, talents and treasures to various individuals as well as to the Church. There comments are that as long as they are “good people” that there is no need to have to follow all these “rules” of the Catholic Church.

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yep I know what you mean…and these people are teaching our youth. This is why our band started, to help show youth the truth of the church. www.sevensorrows.com

 

[space_ghost]

my best advice would be to continue to live as orthodox catholic life as you can… your example will say more to them then all the words you can muster…

pray for them, judge them not… God will take care of the rest… Remember, the Holy Ghost converts people to his way of thinking… Sounds like basically they are good people with a few things to learn… well heck, join the human race…

Peace:thumbsup:

 

[felra]

Island Oak:

Have you ever heard the old line about leading a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink? …make sure your own house is in order, lead by example, pray for them and leave the rest to God to move them into more full communion in his own way and time.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink, but, you can make them thirsty by “…make sure your own house is in order, lead by example, pray for them and leave the rest to God to move them into more full communion in his own way and time.”

 

[Steve_Girone]

I was a lapsed Catholic for many years, but am now back and “on fire” for the faith. I have to remind myself that I was once “one of those.”

A priest in a homily once said that we must be “a light to others”, but he also reminded us that fire held too close can burn. The point is to be a light by example and prayer, while avoiding trying to do too much ourselves and trying to do it too fast. This can actually be counter productive. The Holy Spirit has his own timetable, and sometimes it takes a lifetime to see results. But don’t let that discourage you from praying and giving good example by your life.

“Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful, and kindle in them the fire of your love…” Amen.

 

[aquinasadmirer]

" …
The Catholic Church is a marvelous thing and a true champion of humanity. However, as in the matter of the earth centric universe and its persecution of Galileo the church brought its full force against a fact of science. Finally exhonerating Galileo long after his death. Sometimes I don’t think Catholics realize how bad this type of thing looks to non Catholics or lapsed Catholics. Of course this does not detract from the Church’s right to fight evils such as abortion. …
Sincerely,

AC

Please read the Catholic Answers tract about Galileo, make sure you have the story straight. There are lot’s of “urban” legends re-repeated enough so that people accept them as hard fact.

catholic.com/library/galileo_controversy.asp

 

[gardenswithkids]

sadowa:

It is is up to God to judge who gets into heaven… I counter it is those filled with judgement that better watch out. The leap from judgement to malice to hate is small.
…Sometimes I don’t think Catholics realize how bad this type of thing looks to non Catholics or lapsed Catholics.

I fully agree that it is up to God to judge who gets into heaven, but it would also be presumptive of me to assume that my family and friends will get to heaven. I do not know that. If I assumed their salvation, I would be making a judgement.

I am a former lapsed Catholic. I put my own salvation at risk. I do know how some of this stuff sounds. And I am very grateful to faithful Catholics who prayed for me when I was away. I am very grateful to faithful Catholics who provided witness to the authentic teachings of the Church when I returned. But mostly, I am grateful to God.

 

[Fitz]

space ghost:

my best advice would be to continue to live as orthodox catholic life as you can… your example will say more to them then all the words you can muster…

pray for them, judge them not… God will take care of the rest… Remember, the Holy Ghost converts people to his way of thinking… Sounds like basically they are good people with a few things to learn… well heck, join the human race…

Peace:thumbsup:

I agree. Continue on with your good example. Too much preaching to our siblings makes for uncomfortable family parties.

 

[rlg94086]

A few suggestions (in addition to being a good example, etc.)

1. Let them bring the subject up - whatever the subject may be. As they are friends and family the opportunities will come in the natural course of events, so don’t force it.
2. Did you struggle with these issues yourself? If so, then use what salespeople call feel-felt-found. “I know how you feel, I felt the same way, this is what I found.” Not in those exact words of course . This way you’re not preaching to them, but rather relating the information to your own life experience.
3. Have resources available. A good Scott Hahn book, a cd, etc. I just recently received some cds (free) from catholicity:
   catholicity.com/maryfoundation/
   I highly recommend both of the cds from Fr. Larry Richards for giving a very good perspective on sin and missing Mass. The Marriage and Eucharist cd for contraception, but I would recommend Fr. Larry first.

Anyway, if you get into a good discussion, it’s easier to say “you guys should listen to this cd” than to get into a discussion that turns into a heated argument.

God Bless,

Robert.

 

[KCT]

What led me out of the cafeteria was seeing faithful Catholics who love and live their faith. Pray and sacrifice for your siblings. I have 4 brothers - two divorced (both have girlfriends), one widowed, one unhappily married. Some of them think we’re too religious and conservative. Oh well. They see us as a happy, well adjusted (most of the time!) family. That’s the best witness there is. —KCT