Catholic candidate seeking advice

[woodsylove]

I have never posted before but I have been appreciating Catholic Answers and the forum very much. I have recently completed RCIA with my 16 year old daughter (we are evangelical protestants) and her Catholic boyfriend. I have been feeling a strong pull towards the Catholic faith over the past year of study. At this point, I do anticipate joining the Church at some point. The problem is that my husband is not interested in attending the Catholic Church and I also have four children. My oldest is very involved at the protestant church where we go, my second is the one who went through RCIA with me and is also fallling in love with the Church, I have a 13 year old son who seems very much to want to continue at the protestant church and I have a 6 year old daughter who has not been baptized. She does not like sitting through Mass, though she has been there on several occasions with me. How do I balance my desire to join the church and share it with my children and the need to worship with my husband and maintain a good relationship with him. I also want to see my daughter baptized but where and when? Any advice, prayers or suggestions?

 

[Christy_Beth]

Go ahead and join. Allow your older children attend where they want to for the moment. They may chose to join the church later. As for your husband, he may also come. But, for the mean time, pray for them, and for others in this position. I don’t know the numbers, but I’m sure there are many out there where one spouse plans on joining the church, while the other one drags their feet. Also, think of St. Monica, mother to St. Augustine. She was married to a “heathen,” and her son, who was given a good schooling in the faith, went out and lived like a heathen himself for awhile. Anyway, I’m sure there’s plenty of links to that story as well. She prayed for many years, and St. Augustine ended up being named a doctor of the Church. And I believe her husband finally converted as well. So, pray for them with all your heart, and live your faith day by day. Oh, and don’t forget to pray for the endurance you’ll need during this time. Because that’s what it often is, an endurance test.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

Go ahead and join the Church with your daughter. Lead by example. Don’t openly oppose the church your husband attends. You can be respectful of his church while still being a Catholic.

It would be nice if your six year old could be baptized, receive First Communion, and attend Catholic religious education, but I would not try to force this, especially if her father is opposed.

 

[TheologicalLeft]

Baptize and confirm all your children don’t let them “choose” as a parent you have a duty to show them the truth Christ has given to us through His Holy and Immaculate Church don’t let them walk in error any second longer than they need to. Laudetur Jesus Christus! God Bless You!!

 

[TheologicalLeft]

I should let it be known as a practicing Catholic I was forced into being Bar Mitzvahed at 13 so let’s not get liberal and say 13 year olds aren’t subject to their parents wishes either. We need good men in the Church. Show him catholic youtube videos and pray for him.

 

[tawny]

I have never posted before but I have been appreciating Catholic Answers and the forum very much. I have recently completed RCIA with my 16 year old daughter (we are evangelical protestants) and her Catholic boyfriend. I have been feeling a strong pull towards the Catholic faith over the past year of study. At this point, I do anticipate joining the Church at some point. The problem is that my husband is not interested in attending the Catholic Church and I also have four children. My oldest is very involved at the protestant church where we go, my second is the one who went through RtCIA with me and is also fallling in love with the Church, I have a 13 year old son who seems very much to want to continue at the protestant church and I have a 6 year old daughter who has not been baptized. She does not like sitting through Mass, though she has been there on several occasions with me. How do I balance my desire to join the church and share it with my children and the need to worship with my husband and maintain a good relationship with him. I also want to see my daughter baptized but where and when? Any advice, prayers or suggestions?

Welcome home. Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strdngth & fortitude in your time of need. Praying for the intentions of you & your family.

 

[woodsylove]

Thank all of you for your (name removed by moderator)ut. I guess an area of question that I am still working through is balancing worshiping as a family with becoming Catholic. I try to attend Sat. evening vigil mass so that I can still worship with my family on Sunday mornings at our protestant church. My husband still wishes to worship there. He is very much in favor of having our daughter baptized, but that would be in the protestant church. I am not yet Catholic… I would not be able to have her baptized Catholic yet even if I wanted to. My hope is that when I join the church, he will allow me to take the little one with me and enroll her in CCD. He is very understanding but this is hard on him and he is taking it a bit personally as I work through these changes in my personal beliefs. Do you agree that I should continue to worship with him in addition to attending Mass, of course praying all the while for his conversion and openness to the Catholic faith?

 

[Aggie414]

I would strongly encourage you to continue attending worship with him while you attend Mass at a different time. Maybe over time he will also express an interest to attend Mass with you to support you – you never know what seed you might be planting.

My two cents is this: You changed the “rules.” It is WONDERFUL that he is supporting you in your decision. Return the favor by continuing to support him in the lifestyle y’all were living before you converted. It might take some time (and it might never happen) for him to express an interest in learning more about your new-found faith. He will be more likely to do so if he has the knowledge that you are not trying to change him.

Tread slowly with wanting to bring younger children with you – open up the idea but make sure you have his full agreement that way he feels he has a say in his children’s religious upbringing. Eventually you will find your sweet spot and your life will even out. Maybe one day the whole family will convert over, maybe not; but being open and honest at each step will only open up the communication lines and make things continue on smoothly.

 

[BettyBoop416]

Baptize and confirm all your children don’t let them “choose” as a parent you have a duty to show them the truth Christ has given to us through His Holy and Immaculate Church don’t let them walk in error any second longer than they need to. Laudetur Jesus Christus! God Bless You!!

Horrible advice. While I would encourage the OP to continue her faith journey, initiating a big conflict by attempting to drag reluctant family members along is a great way to run a marriage right off the rails.

I would strongly encourage you to continue attending worship with him while you attend Mass at a different time. Maybe over time he will also express an interest to attend Mass with you to support you – you never know what seed you might be planting.

My two cents is this: You changed the “rules.” It is WONDERFUL that he is supporting you in your decision. Return the favor by continuing to support him in the lifestyle y’all were living before you converted. It might take some time (and it might never happen) for him to express an interest in learning more about your new-found faith. He will be more likely to do so if he has the knowledge that you are not trying to change him.

Tread slowly with wanting to bring younger children with you – open up the idea but make sure you have his full agreement that way he feels he has a say in his children’s religious upbringing. Eventually you will find your sweet spot and your life will even out. Maybe one day the whole family will convert over, maybe not; but being open and honest at each step will only open up the communication lines and make things continue on smoothly.

This, on the other hand, is thoughtful, sensible advice.

 

[TheologicalLeft]

Horrible advice. While I would encourage the OP to continue her faith journey, initiating a big conflict by attempting to drag reluctant family members along is a great way to run a marriage right off the rails.

This, on the other hand, is thoughtful, sensible advice.

Actually I was just reading from the Bible BettyBoop, “If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26 DRA)

Not your secular worldview you have.

 

[without]

Actually I was just reading from the Bible BettyBoop, “If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26 DRA)

Not your secular worldview you have.

I love my own father and mother, and wife and children, and brothers and sisters, and even my own life, therefore I do not follow Jesus.

I try not to hate…