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Interfaith_struggles
Guest
Hello Friends,
Looking for some marital advice.
I was born a Catholic. I’ve definitely matured in my faith but still have a ways to go. I met my husband in 1997 and was attracted to his spirituality and his love of Christ. He was Protestant but did not belong to a church. He sometimes went to mass with me but he eventually found a home in an Evangelical Church. During our courtship we attended both of our services. We were married in the Catholic Church in 2004. I entered the marriage thinking that he agreed/understood that we would share both of our traditions with our children and that they would partake in Catholic sacraments. He disagrees with my “version” and submits that he made no such promises. At the time of our marriage I thought we were on the same page because we were attending both of our services and had premarital Catholic counseling. I was naive and didn’t realize our significant differences.
We eventually had 3 children (2005, 2009 & 2010). I had to fight to get the first two baptized. To this day he has not allowed my third child to be baptized in the Catholic Church, nor allowed my children to participate in the other sacraments.
In 2009, my husband stopped going to mass with me, but I still attended Protestant service with him. Attending weekly mass and his service got difficult; he would not allow my son to be baptized and then 2 yrs ago prohibited all three from going to mass with me. It crushed my soul. I put my foot down and just stopped going to Protestant service with him 2 years ago. With my complete disengagement my husband became more prayerful and more adamant that I was breaking my marriage vows because I was not submitting to his spiritual direction. He tells me that even if he is wrong about Protestantism then the sin is on him and not me; and that he will be doubly punished for leading his family astray.
I feel defeated and no longer engage in religious activities (other than mealtime prayers) with the children and my husband. Every Sunday he takes the three kids to his church and then I go to mass by myself. My heart breaks. I pray to St. Monica and St. Jude for his conversion of heart. We can no longer even discuss the issue without an argument and our marriage has become void of any comfort or support. I have spoken to many priests about the state of my marriage but don’t get a clear picture. One priest told me that I had a spiritual gift of suffering and that I should offer it all up to God. All I know is that we are both suffering tremendously. I have resigned myself to this suffering, that this could be my marriage until death. My husband brings the topic up a lot. He desperately wants and prays for a Christian marriage.
Question: Do you think I am breaking my marriage vows by not submitting to my husband’s spiritual direction? What would you do in my situation to bring peace back into our home? Do you think I have a Christian marriage, and if not, what can I do to have a Christian marriage?
Looking for some marital advice.
I was born a Catholic. I’ve definitely matured in my faith but still have a ways to go. I met my husband in 1997 and was attracted to his spirituality and his love of Christ. He was Protestant but did not belong to a church. He sometimes went to mass with me but he eventually found a home in an Evangelical Church. During our courtship we attended both of our services. We were married in the Catholic Church in 2004. I entered the marriage thinking that he agreed/understood that we would share both of our traditions with our children and that they would partake in Catholic sacraments. He disagrees with my “version” and submits that he made no such promises. At the time of our marriage I thought we were on the same page because we were attending both of our services and had premarital Catholic counseling. I was naive and didn’t realize our significant differences.
We eventually had 3 children (2005, 2009 & 2010). I had to fight to get the first two baptized. To this day he has not allowed my third child to be baptized in the Catholic Church, nor allowed my children to participate in the other sacraments.
In 2009, my husband stopped going to mass with me, but I still attended Protestant service with him. Attending weekly mass and his service got difficult; he would not allow my son to be baptized and then 2 yrs ago prohibited all three from going to mass with me. It crushed my soul. I put my foot down and just stopped going to Protestant service with him 2 years ago. With my complete disengagement my husband became more prayerful and more adamant that I was breaking my marriage vows because I was not submitting to his spiritual direction. He tells me that even if he is wrong about Protestantism then the sin is on him and not me; and that he will be doubly punished for leading his family astray.
I feel defeated and no longer engage in religious activities (other than mealtime prayers) with the children and my husband. Every Sunday he takes the three kids to his church and then I go to mass by myself. My heart breaks. I pray to St. Monica and St. Jude for his conversion of heart. We can no longer even discuss the issue without an argument and our marriage has become void of any comfort or support. I have spoken to many priests about the state of my marriage but don’t get a clear picture. One priest told me that I had a spiritual gift of suffering and that I should offer it all up to God. All I know is that we are both suffering tremendously. I have resigned myself to this suffering, that this could be my marriage until death. My husband brings the topic up a lot. He desperately wants and prays for a Christian marriage.
Question: Do you think I am breaking my marriage vows by not submitting to my husband’s spiritual direction? What would you do in my situation to bring peace back into our home? Do you think I have a Christian marriage, and if not, what can I do to have a Christian marriage?