M
michaelyn25
Guest
Clarissal, I can empathize completely and hope that in sharing my own history it helps you in some way. Similarly to you, I am a devout, practicing Catholic and always have been. My husband just converted to Catholicism this past Easter vigil (his choice), but 2 years ago when our son was born and we were choosing Godparents, he wanted his brother to be Godfather. My sister was, of course, Godmother. The problem? His brother (like my husband) was baptized and confirmed Methodist but has since never attended a Christian service. Additionally, he publicly decries Christian beliefs, states that he’s more Buddhist or agnostic than anything (???), and refused to baptize his own daughter (they actually did their own “baptism” by taking her to the ocean one day and dousing her with its saltwater…hmmm). Obviously, I could not support having him as a Christian witness (since he can’t be Godfather anyway). I also very much wanted my child to have 2 Godparents, not 1 Godparent and 1 Christian witness (aren’t all attendees witnesses?) It caused many fights b/w my husband and me, and b/w my husband and his mother (his brother was upset/hurt but quieter about the whole thing), but ultimately, my husband and I agreed that my brother, a moral, practicing Catholic who is a wonderful example for him as he grows in his Catholic faith, would be my son’s Godfather.
We encountered much resistance in our decision (even from within our own Church), and I know it still bothers my husband that we didn’t choose his brother (I’ll admit that as his wife, it hurts me to know it still hurts him), but we also both feel that our decision was the best thing for our son. What convinced my husband was reminding him that our son’s Baptism is ultimately not about any of our family members or their feelings; what is most important is what is in the best interest of our son. As our son grows up in his faith, we have set an example from the beginning of what it is to have integrity and to stand strong in your beliefs, even at the sad cost of upsetting family members. As I told my husband when making my case on our son’s behalf, our role as our son’s advocate began the day he was conceived, continued with our choice in his Godparents, and will continue throughout his life.
I’ll end with a fave quote from a priest in our parish, who likes to say during his homilies, “If you think being a Catholic is easy, then you’re not doing it right.” I’ll add you and your family to my prayers tonight as you endure this decision-making process!
We encountered much resistance in our decision (even from within our own Church), and I know it still bothers my husband that we didn’t choose his brother (I’ll admit that as his wife, it hurts me to know it still hurts him), but we also both feel that our decision was the best thing for our son. What convinced my husband was reminding him that our son’s Baptism is ultimately not about any of our family members or their feelings; what is most important is what is in the best interest of our son. As our son grows up in his faith, we have set an example from the beginning of what it is to have integrity and to stand strong in your beliefs, even at the sad cost of upsetting family members. As I told my husband when making my case on our son’s behalf, our role as our son’s advocate began the day he was conceived, continued with our choice in his Godparents, and will continue throughout his life.
I’ll end with a fave quote from a priest in our parish, who likes to say during his homilies, “If you think being a Catholic is easy, then you’re not doing it right.” I’ll add you and your family to my prayers tonight as you endure this decision-making process!