Catholic help for premature ejaculation

[TLM08]

I am in my mid-30s, have been married for 6 years to a my wonderful wife and have 3 beautiful children. My problem is i suffer from severe premature ejaculation. To the point that it has caused problems in the sexual relationship with my wife. While my wife is very understanding, it has caused this part of our marriage to be very unenjoyable for me. Its something i cant really enjoy because its over before it really even starts (if you know what I mean). I have been hoping (for 6 years) that I will eventually get over this problem naturally but that does not seem to be the case.

I have done some research to find ways to help “cure” this problem, but most things I find seem to get into areas that would be morally acceptable.

Some of the things I have found include the following: I read one of the prescribed solutions from a Doctor would be to try anti-depressant drugs. I am not too crazy about taking anti-depressant drugs though.

Most remedies I have found include techniques that use certain “excercises” that involve manual stimulation. All these solutions either involve self masturbation or spousal masturbation to ejaculation. Both of which I know are not acceptable.

I have thought about going to a doctor or urologist for help but am afriad i will hear the same solutions that will go against Catholic teachings.

I really dont know who to go to since this is very personal (and embarrassing) and I feel that most of the “solutions” I have found are not based on Catholic teachings. But with the way that this is affecting my marriage, I feel like I need to do something.

Is anyone aware of something/someone that would help and be in line with Church teaching? Or can you point me in the right direction.

Thanks in advance for any help.

I think the media has fed our culture a huge line of bull about so called premature ejaculation. Please pardon my candor but when a woman experiences this, it’s almost always viewed as a positive thing, in fact she is often considered by to be “highly orgasmic” so to speak. The result is that men have become obsessed with the idea that everyone should be having mind blowing sex that lasts as long as everyone wants or needs.

The fact is that some of us guys are more physically sensitive to certain kinds of stimulation. It’s no different than the reality that some of us are extremely ticklish and some of us are not. It’s the same principle. Everyone’s basic anatomy and neurological function is different.The real problems start when we buy into this idea that if you climax “too soon” there is something wrong with you. That idea is just plain wrong and can mess with your mind.

There are some things you can do however… Try stopping and just holding each other as soon as you feel the “end” starting to get near. Then when your system calms down, resume what you were doing. You might need to repeat this many times but so what! With a little practice you will find that you are able to last longer than you thought.

I’ve been around a long time and talked to many buddies over the years about all kinds of things. This is a very common thing. Don’t let this bother you so much.
Be at peace my friend.

 

[TLM08]

Mostly people have this problem in old age. You can also get rid from this problem by self care. Some times its can be due to anxiety and stress also so people need to keep mind fresh. I have got about a medicine at levitrabliss.com/ which is used for especially sexual health improvement. It’s Levitra. You can also try this.

More ageing baby boomer bull! During old age, sexual function naturally declines. We have become a nation of youth obsessed adolescents with “erection commmercials” saturating our airwaves 24 hours per day. I am truly tired of it.

If you are 60, 70 or 80 and still going strong then that’s great! But we really need to grow up as a nation and culture. But the normal course of events as we grow older is to move onto other things… grandchildren… museums… hobbies… baking bread… community service…

 

[neophyte]

As I understand it, Kegel exercises involve tensing muscles that would be involved in stopping urinary flow or a bowel movements. I found that that did the exact opposite of what you wish to accomplish. See if it helps to push a bit instead of pull (but be careful for the obvious reasons).

 

[SCH]

Most remedies I have found include techniques that use certain “exercises” that involve manual stimulation.

It seems to me that there are no problems if a married couple have mutual stimulation in order to heal premature ejaculation.

 

[teme]

You are definitely in our prayers. I’m in no way an expert in this issue or moral theology, but just some things to think about from another Catholic man’s perspective:

1. “Premature” is a relative term. Just because you climax quickly doesn’t make it wrong. But, if it leaves you or your wife dissatisfied, the problem isn’t in the “time clock”, it may be what you and she do before the climax. You can have hours of lovemaking before you are stimulated in that way… Spend some time on the outside first.
2. Your wife can most certainly use other means beyond her genitals to help bring you close to climax, which would help you try those other advise items you have read. The only thing (in my understanding) that’s not allowed are to intentionally climax without genital union, or force her to do something which she feels is an afront to her dignity. The Church isn’t the rigid woman-oppressing organization the culture wishes us to believe. If all you were allowed to do was enter, move around a bit, finish, and roll over, there would be far fewer Catholics on the Earth!
3. All those commercials about enhancement, etc make me a bit ill. Means my kids are only safe watching videos or Noggin unless DW or I are in the room. So I’d probably stay away from those. But, someone posted about thicker condoms. This could be an option. The moral issue with condom use is the barrier they present in allowing sperm to enter and fertilize. Poke a few holes, or even cut a small opening at the tip and you still benefit form the procreative effects of love-making. One could argue a condom also violates the unitive effects of relations - but in my opinion this use may be acceptable. Talk to a priest though as I’m in no way qualified to make these type of judgements for anyone.
4. Last thing - easier said than done - relax. If you can’t change how your body reacts physically, you simply have to find other ways to please your wife emotionally, physically, spiritually and sexually. Spend some time focussing exclusively on her. Take an hour a week with her outside the bedroom and away from the kids to help her emotionally. Rub her back/feet/hands or something else to help her feel better physically. Take her to Church and wrangle all the kids so she can focus at Mass to help spiritually. Focus your hands when you are together on her before you reach the inevitable to show her the longer side of sexuality.

Good luck

 

[Zelie_Louis]

Please determine the seriousness of this medical situation by discussing it with your personal physician. Advice which may be medical in nature can not be given or received on CAF.