Catholic Info for prepubescent DD and NFP

[Shiann]

My DD is 9 and is entering into that pre-pubescent time when things begin to change quite rapidly. I was 11 when “things” began happening. And it is my understanding that puberty and menstruation happens earlier and earlier.

She and I have already spoken about the basic biology of what is going to happen from a woman’s perspective, and the basic morality of refraining from relations until one is married.

IOW she is aware that sex involves a man and a woman, that menstruation has to do with preparing a woman’s body for a baby created from the act of sex; but she doesn’t know the details about what actually happens during sex.

I practice a modified NFP. I am currently single, and have never used the pill. I am VERY familiar with my cycle and the biological signs mentioned by those women using a more formal method. I have never been trained in a formal NFP method. I date my cycle as a ‘reminder’, but because I need not worry about pregnancy at this time, I do not do daily readings.

I see so many posts here from women who desprately wish to follow church teaching on contraception but who are discouraged because they attempt to cram years of tracking their biological pattern into a few months and expect the results to work. Many women probably grew up using a ‘calender’ method for tracking when they might get their period, but neglected tracking their ovulation time.

I wish to give my daughter an opportunity to use her teen years to practice these biological readings, so she is prepared and confident in NFP when she marries. Maybe this will help her defend her position on NFP to a potential husband who has disagreements with her or the Church. Or to other girls her age who are sexually active. When we are confident, we can better defend what we believe.

My question pertains to teaching her a ‘proper’ way to take her readings, or to gently train her in NFP without flooding her with sexual information she is not ready for- and which is intended for those already married and ready for sex.

Is there any Catholic literature out there that can help me accomplish this goal? How about you Faithful Catholic Mom’s out there who have DD’s yourself… how did you prepare them for NFP?

 

[yochumjy]

Not a mother, don’t have a daughter, not even a woman.

But the symptothermal method does use temps, which could be a simple introduction. If your daughter gets up at the same time every morning, you could just have her start taking her temp each morning with a basil thermometer. As the periods start, you can chart the temps, show her the temp rise and start explaining about hormones, what they do etc. I wouldn’t use the standard CCL charts (too much info for one so young I would think), but with graph paper and a pencil, you could do a simple one.

Just a thought.

John

 

[Princess_Abby]

Hi Shiann,

Actually I think this is a fabulous idea. It’s funny because due to my own health issues as of late, it has been a real frustration to me that had I been charting for years and not just the time period I’ve been married, these health issues would have been apparent a VERY long time ago. (I’m 25 and married 1.5 years.)

I would not do temp taking. I have been trained in Billings, sympto-thermal and Creighton Model (called Napro). I find Creighton to be FAR superior in terms of ease and scientific credibility. It involves a sticker chart with a few options and is fairly simplistic yet phenomenal at p(name removed by moderator)ointing irregularities and illustrating the ebb and flow of every woman’s individual cycle. If your daughter learns this method of charting her cycles now, she will extremely prepared for marriage and health issues that may or may not happen in the future.

Creighton practitioners can be found on omsoul.com by contacting a Catholic OB/GYN who is either trained or can refer you out to someone who gives Introductory Sessions. These sessions are only an hour long, and very concise and to the point. The packet to start is $25 and then one on one follow up sessions with a nurse is, usually, like $40/hr.

I would reccomend YOU going to this session (or taking your daughter, there is nothing graphic and its actually very interesting and informative) and then taking the information home and adapting it your daughter’s developmental age and what she would be comfortable with.

Creighton model involves only external observations on toilet paper, before and after each bathroom visit. She would learn to look for cervical mucus, be tuned into the “sensation” she feels when she wipes (dry, smooth, lubricated) and then in turn learn how to identify the type of mucus she finds. It only involves putting a color-coded sticker on a chart and dating it at the end of the day. Very simple.

If you can’t find a practioner near you on www.omsoul.com, do a google search for the Pope Paul IV institute, as Dr. Hilgers works there and it is where Creighton Model developed.

My other reason for reccommending Creighton Model is that couples who use this form of NFP, when seemingly infertile, have their chances of conceiving hit up to 80% of success rate, i think. Reading the charts is extremely effective, and it does not get confusing with having to take temperatures, having to wake up the same time every day without fail, graphing and measuring and writing down descriptions of moods, feelings, internal checks on one’s cervix, etc. That stuff is all part of other methods.

You are a such a good mom! Always thinking ahead.

Abby

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

She is only 9 years old!

princess Abby, I know you mean well and wish to help this girl avoid what you went through, but I think she may be too young to have to start thinking about cervical secretions and how they feel and what that means for her fertility.

I tend to side more with yochumjy. Keep it simple.

As her mom Shiann, you are the best one to know what she can understand and handle. Take it slow. Trust your instincts. The poor girl is going to have enough to adjust to when she starts menstruating, her body starts changing, and she starts experiencing all of those intense emotions that go with puberty.

Maybe you yourself will want to take a formal NFP course just to be sure that you are informed properly on all of the NFP issues that you will eventually need to explain to your daughter.

I hope someone comes through with books or websites that can help you explain how a woman’s body works that are designed for such a young child.

Good luck. I wish I had learned to chart my signs at a young age (but not 9). You are doing a great thing for your daughter!

Malia

 

[Tom_of_Assisi]

Shiann:

My DD is 9 and is entering into that pre-pubescent time when things begin to change quite rapidly. I was 11 when “things” began happening. And it is my understanding that puberty and menstruation happens earlier and earlier.

She and I have already spoken about the basic biology of what is going to happen from a woman’s perspective, and the basic morality of refraining from relations until one is married.

IOW she is aware that sex involves a man and a woman, that menstruation has to do with preparing a woman’s body for a baby created from the act of sex; but she doesn’t know the details about what actually happens during sex.

I practice a modified NFP. I am currently single, and have never used the pill. I am VERY familiar with my cycle and the biological signs mentioned by those women using a more formal method. I have never been trained in a formal NFP method. I date my cycle as a ‘reminder’, but because I need not worry about pregnancy at this time, I do not do daily readings.

I see so many posts here from women who desprately wish to follow church teaching on contraception but who are discouraged because they attempt to cram years of tracking their biological pattern into a few months and expect the results to work. Many women probably grew up using a ‘calender’ method for tracking when they might get their period, but neglected tracking their ovulation time.

I wish to give my daughter an opportunity to use her teen years to practice these biological readings, so she is prepared and confident in NFP when she marries. Maybe this will help her defend her position on NFP to a potential husband who has disagreements with her or the Church. Or to other girls her age who are sexually active. When we are confident, we can better defend what we believe.

My question pertains to teaching her a ‘proper’ way to take her readings, or to gently train her in NFP without flooding her with sexual information she is not ready for- and which is intended for those already married and ready for sex.

Is there any Catholic literature out there that can help me accomplish this goal? How about you Faithful Catholic Mom’s out there who have DD’s yourself… how did you prepare them for NFP?

too early. Let her have a few more years of innocence. It is a myth that children (statistically) develop earlier now than in the 40s or 50s. Even if some individual “kids” do develop earlier than their peers, showering them with sex talk and sex practices (tracking her fertility cycle at age 9!!!) probably is not for the best.

Let her be a kid.

 

[Island_Oak]

What a concept–mothers teaching their daughters about their own natural cycles to prepare them for marriage, conception, motherhood and obedience to Catholic teachings about planning births. Fantastic!! Beautiful!! I applaud your foresight.

I agree with the last poster, though, who said to allow your daughter time to be a little girl. In our modern times she has no worry about being married off as soon as she physically matures. Wait a few years to provide this information on fertility awareness–maybe when she is in her mid-teens.

 

[Shiann]

OH, I think I might have misled you all a little.

I do not intend to bring this up to her NOW.

But I do wish to have a talk with her when she has started her period regularly and come into womanhood. As I said, I started at 11 and that is only 2 years away for her.

It does sound quite ridiculous to make a young girl going through such huge biological changes to make charts and examine secretions, and this is certainly not my intent, and I DO intend to keep her a little girl for as long as I can!

I guess I believe that it takes a bit of time to learn and iron out some of the details of NFP and I want to be as knowlegable as possible so I can speak from experience. (She is the type of little girl who has A LOT of questions and they often require more than “just because.”) LOL

Maybe I’m thinking too much. But I have been reading A LOT of posts on this board alone from women having trouble with NFP, and if they had only been able to find comfort from thier mothers or another adult female close to them who practiced it- maybe things wouldn’t be so tough for them, and contraception would not be a viable option.

Thanks so much for the kind comments. I do think I would like to become more informed on the Creighton method. This sounds very much like what I already do with my own cycle- though I do not chart daily. We have a Catholic hospital in a city near my home where I can check into NFP, and I will also try the website offered in an earlier post.

I want to reiterate that I only wish to be well prepared for the time when she has lots of questions.

I still wish to hear from anyone who has experience learning NFP early on, or who taught NFP to their daughters. And you can obviously keep the kind comments comming… they are ALWAYS welcome!

 

[Almeria]

As she gets older, I think it would be a great idea for her to be more aware of what is going on with her cycle. I had so many friends that had problematic periods, that this would be a very good idea. I’m with yochumjy–just a simple taking of the temprature would work for this need.

 

[kwitz]

One of the Catholic hospitals in my area that has a NFP teaching office presents classes for mother & daughter and father & son. There are two versions, a puberty aged and then later teenage years. We’ve been to both with my daughter and my son has been to the younger class. They presented the whole topic of sexuality in the context of sacredness and was a wonderful stepping off point for my daughter and I. I don’t know that the boy version was as useful to my son but then again, I don’t think he still has much of clue about any of this stuff (perhaps I’m a bit naive about that though ).

It might be a good idea to see if something similar is offered in your area.

Kris

 

[Rascal]

I’m not sure what “problems” so many women/couples have in starting NFP. I’ve taught a number of couples, and problems are not that common and are usually easily remedied.

I think it is important to introduce to your daughter (and any sons) the Church’s teaching on marriage and sex. I don’t think you need to go into detail on how to determine ovulation. When discussing the subject, you can just point out there are ways to do so using natural signs and the reasons contraception does not fit with Catholic teaching.

In the end, I’m sure a young women starting cycles will have variations in her cycles making things more confusing similar to pre-menopause. I don’t know how long this lasts, but it can certainly create some confusion. And then stay away from doctors that prescribe the pill to make the third menstruation “regular”:.

Finally, perhaps when your daughter is older and seriously looking for a husband, or perhaps in college years, she can read more on the subject to help with any kind of health issues.

Otherwise, when setting a date for a wedding, that is more than enough time to learn NFP WITH her fiance by taking a class.