Catholic Marriage and the military

[koga10]

I wanted to try and understand the church’s position and teachings on a marriage. I have done research that I can via internet, friends, and family, but wanted to know more. I am in on active duty in the Air Force and my fiancé, is a government civilian and reservist in the Air Force.

Basically I will move from here to Texas mid July this year. My fiancé has training mid May till mid July up in Alabama. It is important to both of us to receive the sacrament of marriage but we will not be eligible for several benefits if we do not get married civilly before I leave in July and she is put on my orders.

We have talked to many other catholic military couples and a few even mentioned getting a marriage license before hand and getting married at a later date. Once civilly married and spouses are on travel orders, the Air Force allows many benefits to its members. She would can have health insurance, the ability to apply for government jobs from Florida to Texas, and it allows us to live together in Del Rio in family housing after she finishes her schooling in October. We are already planning on getting married in a local catholic church in October before she moves out. If we are not married I am required to live in the dormitories and we most likely would have difficulties finding housing during that time.

I am curious the the churhc thoughts and views on this and/or if anyone has done something similar.

 

[cmcgrath22]

I take it that you and you fiancé are under the normal 6 month period? If so you may be able to receive a dispensation due to the circumstances you find yourselves in. I have a similar problem as I am set to deploy this fall and could not meet the time constraints for the traditional period. I’m going to be talking to our parish priest about this, but it seems to me a Catholic chaplain would be the best source for an answer in our situations. If I find out anymore I will let you know.

Thank you and your fiancé both for your service

 

[achmafooma]

Thank you for your military service!

I don’t have any direct experience with this kind of situation, but my guess is that the Church would frown upon you getting a civil marriage certificate ahead of your actual marriage. I think they would, however, probably allow a dispensation for you to marry ahead of schedule in the Church, assuming no marriage impediments or serious concerns about your preparedness.

You could possibly have a small ceremony up-front (only the couple, a priest, and two witnesses are required), and then have the big ceremony as planned later on.

This is just speculation though. You and your fiance should speak to either a Catholic military chaplain or your parish priest about your situation, and I’m sure you will be able to work something out!

God bless. Congrats on your upcoming nuptials, and again, thanks for your service.

 

[1ke]

Talk to your military chaplain about your options.

I do know a couple who did what you propose-- civil wedding and then asked for a convalidation afterwards-- but her priest was NOT happy that they went behind him and did this, and refused to marry them. They did find a priest who would do so.

I **really **suggest talking to either a military chaplain or her pastor at her local Catholic Church.

It is unwise to try to circumvent the Church’s teaching regarding the premarital preparation process. Yes, it is difficult to wait and do it right, but government benefits are not a good reason to marry outside the Church.

 

[Soren_Itenu]

Good advice already. Just wanted to also say thank you for your service!

 

[BettyBoop416]

Talk to your military chaplain about your options.

I do know a couple who did what you propose-- civil wedding and then asked for a convalidation afterwards-- but her priest was NOT happy that they went behind him and did this, and refused to marry them.

I agree…talk to a chaplain. It would be a rare chaplain who would treat a military couple the way the priest in this example did.