Catholic Marriage and the Sacrements

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walaxref

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I have been married for eleven years to a wonderful woman. We have a delightfully happy little 5 year old boy. I have a good career and we have our basic necessities. Sounds OK…

But wait, my wife is Jewish and I met her at a time when I was rebelling against church doctrine. We were not married in the church for reasons already stated. As a result, I have been denied the sacrements, even reconciliation, until my wife and I go and have our marriage whatevered by the church. She really could not care one way or the other but as an adult I realize I was being rebellous and now want to be part of the church.

The local priest has no problem with me attending, as if he were going to deny me, but says that the sacrements are not allowed.

What can I do? I do not want to pressure my wife into something she does not want and possibly ruin a marriage that in this day and age survived the test (50% marriages fail in first 5 years)

Any thoughts?
 
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walaxref:
She really could not care one way or the other
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Then ask her for a simple marriage in the Catholic Church. Tell her by no means are you trying to convert her, however, it is important to you.

If “really could not care” then it will not make a difference to her.
 
Sit down with your priest and ask him what the ‘whatevered’ is and what it would entail.

Don’t hold off just because you’re afraid whatever ‘that’ is might jeopardize your marriage. You must first get the information, then you and your wife can go over it to determine what course of action to take, if any. She certainly isn’t going to leave you just because you open the topic for discussion.
 
Assuming this is your wife’s first marriage, there is another option available, called sanatio in radice or retroactive validation, that does not require any action on your wife’s part. It is a last resort if you wife is adamant about not wanting to have a convalidation ceremony. The bishop needs to approve this, but your priest can help you with the details.
 
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Catholic2003:
Assuming this is your wife’s first marriage, there is another option available, called sanatio in radice or retroactive validation, that does not require any action on your wife’s part. It is a last resort if you wife is adamant about not wanting to have a convalidation ceremony. The bishop needs to approve this, but your priest can help you with the details.
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Definitely talk to the priest. I believe a *sanatio in radice *does not apply when a Catholic has married outside the Church without the required dispensation. The couple will probably have to do it from scratch and, if this is so, should stop enjoying their conjugal privileges until this is settled if I am not mistaken.
 
The canon law for convalidation and retroactive validation can be found here. The canon governing the applicability of retroactive validation to marrying outside the Church (i.e., lack of canonical form) is:
Canon 1163 §1 A marriage which is invalid because of an impediment or because of defect of the legal form, can be validated retroactively, provided the consent of both parties persists.
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walaxref:
I have been married for eleven years to a wonderful woman. We have a delightfully happy little 5 year old boy. I have a good career and we have our basic necessities. Sounds OK…

But wait, my wife is Jewish and I met her at a time when I was rebelling against church doctrine. We were not married in the church for reasons already stated. As a result, I have been denied the sacrements, even reconciliation, until my wife and I go and have our marriage whatevered by the church. She really could not care one way or the other but as an adult I realize I was being rebellous and now want to be part of the church.

The local priest has no problem with me attending, as if he were going to deny me, but says that the sacrements are not allowed.

What can I do? I do not want to pressure my wife into something she does not want and possibly ruin a marriage that in this day and age survived the test (50% marriages fail in first 5 years)

Any thoughts?
Click to expand...
The Marriage would not be a Sacrament because she is not Baptized. So all that needs to be done is for your pastor to request permission from the Bishop to allow you to marry a non-Baptized person. Make reference to that fact the relationship is stable and you intend to to endure. Witness the exchange of vows and “poof” your validly Married and it’s recognized by the Catholic Church.
(you didn’t mention any prior marriages, so I assume none)
 
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