Catholic marriage question

[eo_chibears]

Hello, when my wife and I were married neither one of us were Catholic. We were married in a Free Methodist service. I converted to the Catholic Church and my wife supported my decision. She will not convert as her whole family is Free Methodist, but I have tried to convince her and will keep trying. When we have children she has agreed to let them be baptized Catholic. She would like to bring them to her church from time to time and let them go to mass from time to time. So maybe a 50-50 split so they can decide what they prefer. Is this ok, or should I be more forward about them going to mass only?

 

[1ke]

So maybe a 50-50 split so they can decide what they prefer. Is this ok, or should I be more forward about them going to mass only?

That simply isn’t possible. Baptizing your child Catholic brings with it certain obligations on your part, and certain obligations on your child’s part. Once your child reaches the age of reason, they are bound by the Sunday and Holy Day obligation, and of course to receive the sacraments of Eucharist, Penance, and Confirmation at the appropriate time.

The Catholic Church and your wife’s church simply are not interchangeable.

That is not to say that you and your children cannot visit or attend services/special occasions there. You certainly can. I suggest you discuss this with your priest as soon as possible for guidance.

But, when your child is baptized Catholic you are promising to raise him/her Catholic. There is no such thing as a 50/50 split. The obligation is to attend the Catholic Church. Not to mention, such an attempt at 50/50 will simply confuse your child and give the appearance that the churches are, in fact, interchangeable.

 

[eo_chibears]

That simply isn’t possible. Baptizing your child Catholic brings with it certain obligations on your part, and certain obligations on your child’s part. Once your child reaches the age of reason, they are bound by the Sunday and Holy Day obligation, and of course to receive the sacraments of Eucharist, Penance, and Confirmation at the appropriate time.

The Catholic Church and your wife’s church simply are not interchangeable.

That is not to say that you and your children cannot visit or attend services/special occasions there. You certainly can. I suggest you discuss this with your priest as soon as possible for guidance.

But, when your child is baptized Catholic you are promising to raise him/her Catholic. There is no such thing as a 50/50 split. The obligation is to attend the Catholic Church. Not to mention, such an attempt at 50/50 will simply confuse your child and give the appearance that the churches are, in fact, interchangeable.

Ok thanks, yeah I definitely want to get everything straight BEFORE we have children. I appreciate your advice and will discuss this further with the priest.

 

[SpeSalvi]

Before I was Catholic, my husband (who is a cradle Catholic) and I struggled with this. We ended up doing a 50/50; Our family would go to church with him one week and then we’d go to my church the next week. On the weeks we’d go to my church, he’d attend a Saturday Vigil mass to fulfill his obligation.

What do you know, next thing I knew I was looking forward more to “his” week and going to Mass than I was going to my own Church. Remember that your wife will NEVER convert if you make the Church a point of contention for her. If you can get her into a Catholic Church by switching off, then do it. When it comes to your Children, as soon as they’re old enough start having them go to a Vigil mass with you so they too are fulfilling their obligation. If your wife has agreed to raise them Catholic, then she should encourage them to go with you too.

 

[BettyBoop416]

If your wife has agreed to raise them Catholic, then she should encourage them to go with you too.

If I read the OP correctly, although his wife has agreed to their Catholic baptism, I don’t think she has agreed to raise their children Catholic.

Baptizing your child Catholic brings with it certain obligations on your part, and certain obligations on your child’s part. Once your child reaches the age of reason, they are bound by the Sunday and Holy Day obligation, and of course to receive the sacraments of Eucharist, Penance, and Confirmation at the appropriate time.

I know…I know. But I bet the OP’s wife didn’t bargain for this when she agreed to a Catholic Baptism. They would do well to get this sorted out before any children come along.

 

[DebChris]

As a Catholic, you may attend services at your wife’s church, after first attending Sunday Mass. If your children are baptized Catholic, and your wife has agreed to your raising them Catholic, they too need to attend weekly Mass and to receive faith formation. There is nothing to keep them from attending services with both you and your wife.
St. Francis said, “Preach always and if necessary use words.” Living your faith as a loving husband is the best way to “convert” your wife.

 

[1ke]

If I read the OP correctly, although his wife has agreed to their Catholic baptism, I don’t think she has agreed to raise their children Catholic.

That doesn’t even make sense. That is what Catholic baptism means-- the child is a Catholic and will be raised Catholic.
’

I know…I know. But I bet the OP’s wife didn’t bargain for this when she agreed to a Catholic Baptism. They would do well to get this sorted out before any children come along.

Clearly she doesn’t understand what baptism means, and yes she does need education on this.