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Dave_Hoody
Guest
Is it a sin if Catholic parents attend the non-Catholic wedding ceremony of their son?
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Catholic90
Guest
No.
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noclevername
Guest
Why would it be a sin?
And if you didnt’ attend your own son’s wedding that would put a wound in your relationship with him that may never heal regardless of any circumstances. Trust me, I’ve been there. My parents didn’t attend my wedding for different reasons that I won’t get into and although I am divorced, my relationship with my parents will never be the same. Please for the sake of your son and any future grandkids, please go to that wedding no matter what.
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Sillara
Guest
Actually, it depends.
Has your son obtained a dispensation to marry a non-Catholic? Has he formally defected from the Catholic Church?
If your son is entering into a marriage which is invalid (for example, he is marrying a non-Catholic without a dispensation) you would be giving your blessing to your son’s entering a state of open fornication.
You should talk to your priest about this. This is certainly a serious thing.
Has your son obtained a dispensation to marry a non-Catholic? Has he formally defected from the Catholic Church?
If your son is entering into a marriage which is invalid (for example, he is marrying a non-Catholic without a dispensation) you would be giving your blessing to your son’s entering a state of open fornication.
You should talk to your priest about this. This is certainly a serious thing.
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maryjk
Guest
You are going to get two answers.
Yes, it is, because by attending you are approving of his possible sin.
And…
No, it isn’t because if you didn’t attend, you would cut off any possibility of bringing your son back to the church.
What it comes down to, is what do you think. And what does your priest think.
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sandraladeda
Guest
I had a Catholic friend who married a non-Catholic in an outdoor park. Her dad refused to attend the wedding. As she and her husband raised their family, they gravitated towards a non-Catholic Christian church because they felt judged and condemned over the non-Catholic beginning to their married life, and like they had “burned their bridges” with the Catholic church.
Who knows what might have happened had her father responded with love and encouragement?
Who knows what might have happened had her father responded with love and encouragement?
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littlepreo
Guest
Imagine this scenario:
a) some one gets married in a non-catholic church
b) that person later gets divorced
c) that person then meets a Catholic and wants to re-marry (this time, within the catholic church).
d) the Catholic church will not allow it unless they obtain an annulment for the first marriage.
What does this mean? It means that the Catholic church recognizes the validity of the first marriage, even though it wasn’t a Catholic marriage. The Catholic church treats all christian marriages as “innocent until proven guilty”.
The real question here is, why doesn’t your son want to be married in the Catholic church?
Reason A) He’s not all that interest in being Catholic, period.
Advice) In this case, I would say you’ve lost the battle, but try to win the war. The ultimate goal is not that he be Catholic, but that he (and his wife) would receive salvation. Encourage him to still be a good Christian. Go to the wedding and build up a stronger spiritual relationship with him and your daughter-in-law.
Reason B) His wife has personal/family reasons for getting married in her Church.
Advice) Look into getting a dispensation from the bishop. I got married in a Lutheran church by a Lutheran pastor, but it was 100% Catholic approved via a dispensation! We still went through all the Catholic marriage prep and we agreed to raise the kids catholic. And guess what? My wife may be converting to Catholicism this Easter! These things take time… that’s why we have dispensations!
-mike
a) some one gets married in a non-catholic church
b) that person later gets divorced
c) that person then meets a Catholic and wants to re-marry (this time, within the catholic church).
d) the Catholic church will not allow it unless they obtain an annulment for the first marriage.
What does this mean? It means that the Catholic church recognizes the validity of the first marriage, even though it wasn’t a Catholic marriage. The Catholic church treats all christian marriages as “innocent until proven guilty”.
The real question here is, why doesn’t your son want to be married in the Catholic church?
Reason A) He’s not all that interest in being Catholic, period.
Advice) In this case, I would say you’ve lost the battle, but try to win the war. The ultimate goal is not that he be Catholic, but that he (and his wife) would receive salvation. Encourage him to still be a good Christian. Go to the wedding and build up a stronger spiritual relationship with him and your daughter-in-law.
Reason B) His wife has personal/family reasons for getting married in her Church.
Advice) Look into getting a dispensation from the bishop. I got married in a Lutheran church by a Lutheran pastor, but it was 100% Catholic approved via a dispensation! We still went through all the Catholic marriage prep and we agreed to raise the kids catholic. And guess what? My wife may be converting to Catholicism this Easter! These things take time… that’s why we have dispensations!
-mike
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adrift
Guest
What makes you think that the father didn’t respond in love? What makes you believe that another outcome would have been achieved? My guess is that it would not have made a difference. I have seen many such cases where no one raises an objection and there is no different result than the one you mention.I had a Catholic friend who married a non-Catholic in an outdoor park. Her dad refused to attend the wedding. As she and her husband raised their family, they gravitated towards a non-Catholic Christian church because they felt judged and condemned over the non-Catholic beginning to their married life, and like they had “burned their bridges” with the Catholic church.
Who knows what might have happened had her father responded with love and encouragement?
My brother’s sister-in-law married outside the Church. He and his wife refused to attend even thought the rest of the family did. A few years later they returned to the Church partly they said because my brother and wife did not accept their invalid marriage. No one can see how their actions are going to affect another. It is best to look after your own soul and follow your priests advise. It isn’t a black and white choice. Many factors have got to be considered that is why you need to have a good spiritual adviser.
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Caesar517
Guest
If there son is not Catholic, then the marriage would be valid and they should attend. If he is Catholic, then the marriage is not valid and they should not attend, as they would be giving approval by recognition to sinful activity.
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Caesar517
Guest
To admonish the siner is a spiritual work of mercy. The course of true love is not to support sin in any way, even if their son or daughter doesn’t realize it at the time.I had a Catholic friend who married a non-Catholic in an outdoor park. Her dad refused to attend the wedding. As she and her husband raised their family, they gravitated towards a non-Catholic Christian church because they felt judged and condemned over the non-Catholic beginning to their married life, and like they had “burned their bridges” with the Catholic church.
Who knows what might have happened had her father responded with love and encouragement?
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mercygate
Guest
If the son has received a dispensation from form, it should be OK.
Or is he assertively non-Catholic?
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claire_marie
Guest
I have a similiar problem only the person getting married the former Vp now the president of the company I work for. He is marrying the woman he had an affair with during his marriage and his ex-wife works in our office. I am sick about going and I have prayed about it and asked my priest and he said it woun’t be a scandal but I feel I am giving consent to his actions. My concern is in offending God by not standing up for what I know to be Gods laws.However I also wonder if I am not being charitable since no one knows what is in a persons heart . God asks us to forgive and love but it isn’t me who needs to forgive so what am I to do.I do know that this man always says things to mock the Lord , he is a fallen away Catholic. Can anyone guide me?
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Caesar517
Guest
I believe you should not attend. We are indeed called to be charitable, but sometimes that means doing the difficult thing and refusing to go along with sinful actions. To admonish the sinner is a spiritual work of mercy. If we truly feel compassion for someone, we would not support harmful behavior, particularly behavior that is harmful to the soul.I have a similiar problem only the person getting married the former Vp now the president of the company I work for. He is marrying the woman he had an affair with during his marriage and his ex-wife works in our office. I am sick about going and I have prayed about it and asked my priest and he said it woun’t be a scandal but I feel I am giving consent to his actions. My concern is in offending God by not standing up for what I know to be Gods laws.However I also wonder if I am not being charitable since no one knows what is in a persons heart . God asks us to forgive and love but it isn’t me who needs to forgive so what am I to do.I do know that this man always says things to mock the Lord , he is a fallen away Catholic. Can anyone guide me?
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claire_marie
Guest
Thanks Caesar, I had made up my mind not to go but was having last minute doubts. I am at peace with the decision not to go but was a coward when it comes to explaining to those who will ask why. Pray for me and I will pray that the Holy Spirit will give me the words to answer. I need to let go and let God. Thanks, 
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Caesar517
Guest
Sure thing.
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mercygate
Guest
I would have said I had a “previous commitment” for the day of the wedding. The “previous commitment” does not have to be named, and in this case it is a commitment to your principles.I have a similiar problem only the person getting married the former Vp now the president of the company I work for. He is marrying the woman he had an affair with during his marriage and his ex-wife works in our office. I am sick about going and I have prayed about it and asked my priest and he said it woun’t be a scandal but I feel I am giving consent to his actions. My concern is in offending God by not standing up for what I know to be Gods laws.However I also wonder if I am not being charitable since no one knows what is in a persons heart . God asks us to forgive and love but it isn’t me who needs to forgive so what am I to do.I do know that this man always says things to mock the Lord , he is a fallen away Catholic. Can anyone guide me?
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kage_ar
Guest
Why would a son ask his parents to make such a painful decision? It sounds as if you are a Catholic family, your son then knows he is bound to follow the Church’s laws on marriage. He also knows he is to honor his father and mother. To ask them to witness him separating himself from the church is not what a child who loves his parents does. Prayers that your son’s heart will be turned back to God.
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