Catholic, pregnant, planning wedding

[lilyjakos8]

My boyfriend and I have been talking and planning about marriage, we ended up falling one night, and now we’re expecting. We had it all planned out to be engaged this summer/fall and then married in the spring. As of right now, we’re still thinking that plan, and I know it’s recommended to wait until after baby, but I’m wondering if there is a recommended “after baby” timeframe for the wedding?

 

[Irishmom2]

I agree, you need to speak to your priest, you will to find out the requirements for your parish. There is a 6 month wait in our parish, no instant weddings.

Your priest may require you to wait until after the baby is born, so please speak to him when possible. You might try calling the office or sending him an email.

 

[lilyjakos8]

I know there is a minimum of 6 months preparation in our diocese, and we were planning on waiting for a couple of months after the baby anyway. I am primarily looking for opinions if 2-3 months is long enough to wait after having a baby or if it would be better to wait longer.

 

[Irishmom2]

If it were me, I would do it as soon as possible. But I think that it is up to you. Some people are tired or busy with a newborn and want to wait. Others want to opt for when they fit into their dress better or feel better. It depends on what you and your boyfriend are planning to do.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Talk to your priest. The Church determines if you are getting married because of the pregnancy, if that is so, you are not freely consenting. You are not the first young lady to be pregnant before marriage, your Priest has been around this block many times, just talk to him.

 

[dollysro]

The priest may not agree to do this ^^^

 

[Usige]

The Church determines if you are getting married because of the pregnancy, if that is so, you are not freely consenting.

Pretty much. The primary reason to wait is to ensure that the pregnancy isn’t the motivating factor for the marriage. If a couple had already been planning to marry and then find themselves pregnant they aren’t always made to wait (depends of the diocese and their policies). That is something that can be handled during the initial interview, but it helps if the couple is open about it from the beginning (or as soon as they learn about the pregnancy).

The amount of time a couple might be asked to wait is driven by how the pregnancy/birth impacts their consent. It’s always a little trickier when pregnancy is involved because you are trying to determine if there is any pressure or fear that is driving the decision (e.g. getting married because you are afraid you can’t afford to take care of the baby).