Catholic school, public school?

[kittyplant]

hi. i am having a baby soon, so am thinking about school for him. i know in nyc, i am not crazy about any of the schools there. grew up there, not a good atmosphere. might live in PA, mom might be able to help me pay for catholic school there… but if i live in Seattle, i have checked out the local catholic schools and their sliding scales etc and tuition is not affordable. i have thought of home schooling, don’t think it will work. on the positive side i have seen seattle public school kids, they seem creative and intelligent and not hooligans BUT … I don’t know what kind of atheistic baloney the pub. schools here push on the kids, how can I know what classes I need to be prepared to protect him from? ofcourse i plan on immersing him in catholic life at home. what about christian schools? will the influence of catholic at home, non catholic at school be bad for him?

 

[PaulfromIowa]

Don’t kid yourself, government schools today are not a safe place for children. Don’t send a Catholic child to a Protestant school. Home school or a good Catholic school. Many Catholic schools have tuition assistance for those who need it.

 

[pensmama87]

You have a LOT of time to figure out what you want to do, and even after you make a decision, you can change your mind, even if your child is already attending school.

We live in Pennsylvania and our children will most likely be attending public school. We live in a very good district and I don’t have a ton of concerns about what our children will be taught there. But if we had to switch, I am also confident in our parish school and local Catholic high school, and I could homeschool if I had to, though it’s not my preference to do so. Many districts now offer their curricula online so you can see what is supposed to be taught, and good teachers will be happy to let you know what is going on in the classroom. Even in one region, you can have a wide variety of schools - some good, some bad, some in the middle. In a big district (such as a city that encompasses multiple high schools, and some states have county-wide districts) there can be a lot of variation from school to school.

I am a former teacher. I found that the biggest factor in student success was going to be how much their parents genuinely cared about their children learning. Good teachers matter, good schools matter, but parents need to encourage their kids’ natural curiosity for them to succeed.

 

[Allegra]

I work in a public school and students are encouraged to follow their own faith. Exceptions are always made for students whose parents object to a unit/project/activity for any reason. Anytime something is done that is remotely controversial, a letter is sent home first. It’s true that students are not going to be taught about Christ, Bible stories, etc in their classes in our school, however, it’s my experience that they will have a much better chance of being surrounded by Christian values like respect, service, honesty, equality, and kindness then at most of the Catholic schools in the area, which exist primarily to keep wealthy, white kids away from poor kids and racial minorities.

 

[mountee]

Congratulations on the new life you have been blessed with by God. It’s never too early to start thinking and praying about their future and I admire that you have begun. My feelings about Catholic schools have been tainted a little lately with what has gone on in our archdiocese this past year that I have been party to on a firsthand basis. Up until this past year I “presumed”, always a bad mistake, that the teachers in a Catholic school were committed to the teachings of the Church. Why in the world would they teach in a Catholic school if that were not the case. But, I have come to find out that many teachers in this diocese support gay marriage, abortion, birth control, etc and expect that any day we will ordain woman. So, the point I am trying to make is that just sending your child to a Catholic school may or may not be the best idea, you will have to check the schools out properly. As a retired teach I also agree with pensmama87, the most important person in your child’s education whether it is public school, Catholic school or home school will be you.

 

[mommy_k]

For us, we value the entire learning experience, not just academics. Our thinking is this, what good is a fantastic academic record without knowing God personally and living the faith everyday with your peers and classmates?

In our childrens schools, they are taught to pray before all things-lunch-recess-tests and so on. What a wonderful habit to establish! The children learn that prayer is not something to hide, or not practice because it may be offensive to other students. Think about older kids who are embarrassed to pray- and this is where they learn it-public school.

We also teach and live the faith at home as well, and we try to have God present always for them and the school reinforces. This is the most important thing. That is why we are a catholic school family.

Yes your child can learn about morality at public school, but not the deep spiritual part of Catholism that seperates Catholic morals from secular ones.

So here are some benefits for you to think of too.

 

[Cricket2]

You will battle these things forever.

Here is my view: As a parent you have a full 5 years prior to Kindergarten. Use that time to teach your child all you can, and according to your faith convictions. If you will use a daycare try to stick with one that is Christian in nature. Also remember, Kindergarten is not required. You can wait for the first grade if you wish, and if I had a child that is what I would do.

Frankly I find most education in this country to be very lacking. When I was in Kindergarten we had math (addition and subtraction, some fractions.). Now I have no idea what they do, but kids seems to be doing nothing much. It is possible for you to teach your child while playing. Teach them to count, the alphabet, their colors, shapes, about music by listening to all genres. Make every day and every thing you do a lesson.

Play outside: teach the names of birds, bugs, flowers, colors, about the sky, moon and stars. Inside, use cooking to teach measurements, names of fruits, veggies etc. My point is don’t dismiss what you can do in even three short years as the parent of your child. My siblings and I learned most of what we know at home, not from the schools.

I could read at three, understood fractions and basic math by five, and was totally interested in science by the age of 4. Expose your kids to what you know, and to your faith. Then when they do have to go to school they will have a deeply rooted system of belief based on your ideals not someone elses.

 

[tafan]

The Church is quite clear on this:

Can. 798 Parents are to entrust their children to those schools which provide a Catholic education. If they are unable to do this, they are obliged to take care that suitable Catholic education is provided for their children outside the schools.

A catholic school may not be affordable right now, but a lot can change in 5 years. A lot of time to figure out if you are able to send your kids to a school that provides for a Catholic education. If you cannot, home schooling is a option, but is not required by the Church. But do not rule it out so soon.

 

[kittyplant]

I work in a public school and students are encouraged to follow their own faith. Exceptions are always made for students whose parents object to a unit/project/activity for any reason. Anytime something is done that is remotely controversial, a letter is sent home first. It’s true that students are not going to be taught about Christ, Bible stories, etc in their classes in our school, however, it’s my experience that they will have a much better chance of being surrounded by Christian values like respect, service, honesty, equality, and kindness then at most of the Catholic schools in the area, which exist primarily to keep wealthy, white kids away from poor kids and racial minorities.

my experience is something like this. i am not concerned he wont learn morality or prayer at school because he will get plenty at home. i am more concerned with p.s actively teaching things i don’t want ( i wouldnt know, i didnt go to p.s, not sure what it’s like.) in my experience the valuable learning about religion came in high school, maybe i can work it out for him to go to catholic school then.
but yes, it probably has most to do w area the school is in. i think any seattle school is better than any nyc school pub. or catholic. from what i saw in ny the catholic school kids learned to be separate “preppy” more about being academic show offs, didnt learn anything about being christian… or else the school was in a poor neighborhood and no one learned much of anything. i guess the answer im looking
for is kind of what you said - will a p.s respect our catholicism.

 

[kittyplant]

You will battle these things forever.

Here is my view: As a parent you have a full 5 years prior to Kindergarten. Use that time to teach your child all you can, and according to your faith convictions. If you will use a daycare try to stick with one that is Christian in nature. Also remember, Kindergarten is not required. You can wait for the first grade if you wish, and if I had a child that is what I would do.

Frankly I find most education in this country to be very lacking. When I was in Kindergarten we had math (addition and subtraction, some fractions.). Now I have no idea what they do, but kids seems to be doing nothing much. It is possible for you to teach your child while playing. Teach them to count, the alphabet, their colors, shapes, about music by listening to all genres. Make every day and every thing you do a lesson.

Play outside: teach the names of birds, bugs, flowers, colors, about the sky, moon and stars. Inside, use cooking to teach measurements, names of fruits, veggies etc. My point is don’t dismiss what you can do in even three short years as the parent of your child. My siblings and I learned most of what we know at home, not from the schools.

I could read at three, understood fractions and basic math by five, and was totally interested in science by the age of 4. Expose your kids to what you know, and to your faith. Then when they do have to go to school they will have a deeply rooted system of belief based on your ideals not someone elses.

yes that’s what i’m thinking to do.

 

[manualman]

IMO, both the best and worst sorts of schools out there both begin with the abbreviation “St.” The best sort of school is a catholic school in which authentic Catholicism thoroughly permeates the place. That doesn’t mean the people are perfect (LOL!), but it means that they actually BELIEVE in what the catholic church teaches. Or at least a critical mass of teachers, parents and the pastor do.

The worst sort of school for a catholic young person is a school in which children are implicitly taught that Catholicism is just a touchy-feely veneer we build to justify doing what we want to do anyways so that we can feel good about ourselves. These sorts of places inoculate kids against Catholicism instead of instruct them in it.

You have to do some work to tell them apart. Find out how often the school has mass together (every day is best, but less than once a week is a bright red flashing dashboard light), how often opportunities for confession are offered (class by class is best), how often the priests visit the classes and whether they make attempts to learn kid names, what is the religion curriculum (Faith & Life is excellent. Others, like “Blest are We”… I’d call “Catholicism Lite.” And I think I’m being generous.) Visit the school some morning and read the bumper stickers in the parking lot - You’ll seriously get a feel for what’s important to the staff.

Another option growing is PARTIAL homeschooling. I have friends who use the public school district part time for their kids 6th grade and above. For the elementary school, they home-school full time while the subject material is easy stuff. When the kids hit 6th grade, they start getting them into the public school only for select classes, such as math and science. These friends initially had a hard time getting district cooperation, but after the first two years when the district realized that they could include their kids in standardized testing (and benefit from their sky-high scores), they became a lot more cooperative. This approach worked especially well for them in high school so they could benefit from science lab resources, physics experiments and AP classes, while still being able to avoid the “de facto atheist” curricula the public high schools use for literature, history and social sciences.

 

[EasterJoy]

*Can. 800 §1. The Church has the right to establish and direct schools of any discipline, type, and level.

§2. The Christian faithful are to foster Catholic schools, assisting in their establishment and maintenance according to their means.*

The other thing to remember is that you can BRING something to a Catholic school that a) your parish needs from you and b) that secular law does not allow you to bring to a public school in the same way.

Good families, and especially dedicated parents, are what make good schools. That is equally true for a public school as it is for a private school. I would suggest that you ultimately make your decision based on the families who will be educating their children with yours, but weigh the decision in favor of the parish (or diocesan) school.

If you cannot send your children to your local Catholic school (that is, one which “a competent ecclesiastical authority or a public ecclesiastical juridic person directs”), do not neglect to support those schools as you can.

 

[CyrilSebastian]

I attended a Catholic school.
The emphasis on phonics was marvelous.
Our handwriting classes were very thoroughly taught so each student wrote to the best of his/her capability.
Learning religion was important.
:nun1::nun2::nun2:

 

[kittyplant]

I attended a Catholic school.
The emphasis on phonics was marvelous.
Our handwriting classes were very thoroughly taught so each student wrote to the best of his/her capability.
Learning religion was important.
:nun1::nun2::nun2:

i went to catholic school too right until first semester of college.

 

[AClaire11]

I’ve gone to secular private schools, Catholic private schools (not parochial), and public school. I think a lot depends on the specific school and its teachers. Look at online ratings and reviews. Ask parents at your church where they send their kids to school and what their experience has been. And no matter what school you send your kids to, there’s always the possibility that they’ll run into bad influences or have a kooky teacher (my Catholic school had a music teacher that would tell students about her “wild night in Paris” aka why she had a son but was a Miss, not a Mrs.).

Cons of public school:
-The government has a lot of control, and you’re at the mercy of new laws. Like the transgender bathroom thing in California and Common Core.
-A lot of teachers teach to the test now because of the increase in standardized testing.
-More likely to have secularist teachers.
-More likely to have policies such as no Christmas parties or religious songs at the “Winter” Concert. Aka be prepared for a lot of PC-related headaches.

Cons of parochial:
-False sense of security. Make sure that the school teaches orthodox Catholicism. Ex: I had a religion teacher tell me that she didn’t think people stayed in Hell for very long because “God isn’t mean.”
-Potential discrimination based on how much you donate. I noticed that everyone who got big roles in school productions had parents whose names were listed as important donors in the yearbook. My DH had similar experiences at his parochial school and said he felt he was treated differently as a scholarship student.
-Academics are not necessarily better. This is a con IMO because a lot of people associate Catholic education with being better academically than public schools. Not always the case.

I personally feel that homeschooling is the best option and I would urge you to consider it, but I understand that it’s not for everyone. I wish you the best for your pregnancy and hope my post was helpful!

 

[kittyplant]

I’ve gone to secular private schools, Catholic private schools (not parochial), and public school. I think a lot depends on the specific school and its teachers. Look at online ratings and reviews. Ask parents at your church where they send their kids to school and what their experience has been. And no matter what school you send your kids to, there’s always the possibility that they’ll run into bad influences or have a kooky teacher (my Catholic school had a music teacher that would tell students about her “wild night in Paris” aka why she had a son but was a Miss, not a Mrs.).

Cons of public school:
-The government has a lot of control, and you’re at the mercy of new laws. Like the transgender bathroom thing in California and Common Core.
-A lot of teachers teach to the test now because of the increase in standardized testing.
-More likely to have secularist teachers.
-More likely to have policies such as no Christmas parties or religious songs at the “Winter” Concert. Aka be prepared for a lot of PC-related headaches.

Cons of parochial:
-False sense of security. Make sure that the school teaches orthodox Catholicism. Ex: I had a religion teacher tell me that she didn’t think people stayed in Hell for very long because “God isn’t mean.”
-Potential discrimination based on how much you donate. I noticed that everyone who got big roles in school productions had parents whose names were listed as important donors in the yearbook. My DH had similar experiences at his parochial school and said he felt he was treated differently as a scholarship student.
-Academics are not necessarily better. This is a con IMO because a lot of people associate Catholic education with being better academically than public schools. Not always the case.

I personally feel that homeschooling is the best option and I would urge you to consider it, but I understand that it’s not for everyone. I wish you the best for your pregnancy and hope my post was helpful!

thank you, and thank you for your detailed answer. lets pray for schools to get better

 

[adawgj]

I’d say that the main thing should be you trying to teach the faith at home too your kid(s). While it may be nice to have that Catholic school boost, it is very important that the parents stay active too.

 

[Anglewannabe]

What stood out the most to me is you seem to have a least 3 options of what state you will live it. I find it odd that in this economy you can have a job in whichever state you choose, but perhaps that is an aside

As for me, my mom sent me to the schools SHE thought were the best. And I can tell you from personal experience the jump from high school to university (in Canada in my day) was so big, to think one high school was better than the other is a joke. Also, I did not go to the same school as most of the kids in my neighbourhood. Spending the weekend around kids not knowing all the inside jokes of what happened at school did more damage to me than the supposed good my mom told me I was getting from the schools I did attend.

Honestly, I think there is a lot to be said about kids being on par with their peers