Catholic, special rules ? making children?

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Athina

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I’m not a member of Catholic Church. But my boyfriend is a member. Are there any special rules about sex for Catholics? For example. : He says he wants sex in the goal of making children.
 
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You already have a topic on this.

Catholic teaching on sex can be summed up as it must be between a man and a woman who are married to each other and the only moral way to avoid having a baby is not to have sex.

That does not mean that conception has to be an explicit goal of having sex. It does mean that the couple can’t do anything to interfere with conception (artificial contraception and pulling out being the main examples). A couple can use methods to determine the woman’s fertility and time sex when there is little to no chance of conception.

I find it odd that a man willing to follow Church teaching in this way is not willing to follow Church teaching on sex outside of marriage.
 
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I understand. I do not know if he is practicing the Catholic, but he practices some of it.
 
One of the rules is that in order to engage in sexual intercourse is that you are supposed to be married to one another.
 
Are there many members of the Catholic Church who break that rule?
If you break it, will you be forgiven?

I would accept if he would wait until he got married.
 
There are 1.2 billion Catholics in the world. Of course not all practice their faith and some who do fall, just like in any other religion.

Any sin can be forgiven (except final unrepentence) but unrepented sin on the level of pre maritial sex is considered a sin that can send one to hell. It is serious and if this man takes his faith and love of God seriously he knows this and will try his best to not fall into this sin. Sins are not forgiven by God if you just intend to sin again so it is not possible to sin, ask forgiveness but have no intention of never committing that sin again.

As for sex for the purpose of making kids yes that is one purpose. But only in the context of marriage.

I highly recommend not concerning yourself with “sex rules” at this time in your relationship. That is for couples close to marriage to get into “what are the rules for sex” and they are not so much rules as they are truths that make sex better for married couples.

If you love this man or eventually come to love him he will be very upset with himself if he is a good Catholic and he has sex outside of marriage so it would be very loving of you to respect his beliefs and wait until marriage. But you already said that you would wait and that is great of you. If he does not wait until marriage and has pre maritial sex regularly then he is only Catholic in name but not in practice and he needs to talk to a priest. God bless
 
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I’m unsure what to say and do in the situation. I have tried to talk to him about his religion. But he says he is a Catholic, but he does not want to talk about what it means. I wish to know how he wants to live his life, so nothing will be wrong. I would definitely accept it if he would wait with sex for marriage. I think it’s a good value. Sex belongs to marriage, and not outside marriage.
He told me that many friends have asked him if we have sex. Possible because of the religion that they ask. I do not know.

I notice that he seems very thoughtful, and sometimes he does not want sex. He does not seem so interested in sex. It is possible that he suffers that he has sinned and has had sex outside of marriage.

I love him. He is a good and kind man. I hope our relationship lasts. Hope to marry him. And I hope we get children together. I hope he never leaves me. I’ve been left before in my life and it hurt so badly.
 
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You should wait until marriage. You seem like a nice girl who wants to do the right thing. That is the right thing.

Pray together.

He should be able to Express his faith to you.

1 Peter 3

Always be prepared to make a defense to any one who calls you to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence
(This passage is actually in references to those who persecute you. But we should be all the more able to share with those who love us!)
 
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I wish he could talk about how he lives and how he practices the Catholicism. He has said he is a Catholic. Friends and family have talked a lot about the fact that we do not belong to the same religion.

Yes, I like the Catholic values. I belong to the Protestant Church. But I do not feel that’s right for me. I recognize the values of the Catholic world. I have always been against preventive drugs like pills, spirals … abortion pills … Doctors have tried to push me such pills … In my country it’s normal to take all kinds of pills that I totally disagree with.

I’m very unsure why my boyfriend will not talk to me about the Catholicism. when he emphasizes that he is a Catholic. I sometimes tried to ask him if it was wrong to have sex before marriage. But then he said it was common to have before marriage. But it also seemed like it was a shame for him sometimes, and it seemed like he was struggling with something. He follows some of the Catholic values.

I will talk to him that it will be wrong to have sex before marriage. I think it’s wrong. Sex belongs to the marriage.

Thank you for the good info and believe in us.
 
Look at your relationship now, with eyes open. These things are signs of what will continue throughout a marriage, if you do get married.

He will struggle with communicating. He will not want to face the hard part.

If he is strengthened by you, then he respects you.

He already knows it’s wrong. He is just being weak. But you don’t want him to be weak. Appeal to his good faith, because we are all weak, but Christ is strong. When He is in our hearts, we are stronger than ourselves.
 
Athina said:
I have tried to talk to him about his religion. But he says he is a Catholic, but he does not want to talk about what it means.
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This is a red flag. You date and marry someone who shares their beliefs and faith with you. I would be very concerned that he does not want to talk about it. Is he secretive about other things? Have you met his family, visited his home?
 
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Yes , this is a red flag, but i love him so much… I am very worried because he does not want to talk about important things. Religion is an important topic that you should be able to talk about in these contexts. He says that he is a Catholic repeatedly, but he do not wants to talk about what it means to him? It is difficult. But I love him. I am worried.

I have met his family and friends. I have been home with him. But I am deeply concerned that he can have something that he hides for me. I’m afraid to be used. But I’m glad he is Catholic because it means good values. But the question is: why he cant talk openly? I feel he will avoid themes like religion, and some other important themes.

He has very good qualities, but the problem is communication. I hope he opens more to me.
 
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You need to test his love! Be wise!

You are already being used!

Do not have sex again!
 
You mind if I ask how old you both are?

And where do you live? (Country)
 
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I have no doubt that there are way too many people who break the rule. You can be forgiven but you must have the contrition and firm purpose of amendment.
 
Love is great but it’s a scary thing to love someone so much that you ignore red flags.

Since you say you like the values of Catholicism perhaps you can tell him that you are the one who chooses not to have sex outside of marriage and live that out. If he really loves you he will respect that.

I do not know your boyfriend so I could be wrong but he seems like a “cultural Catholic” Cultural Catholics were born into Catholic families and tend to have some kind of respect for the Catholic Church and God but know practically nothing about The Bible or Catholicism.

Perhaps he does not want to talk about Catholicism because he knows nothing about it. If you are interested in Catholicism perhaps you can do some research yourself.

This forum is a place you can learn but I would warn you that lots of people on here tend to talk to others not as politely and kindly as they probably do in real life. The internet makes people brave and is a Haven for people who lack social skills. So I would ask you to please keep that in mind.

I use to be a Protestant but became Catholic 5 years ago. In fact, I use to attend a Lutheran Church just before I became Catholic. It was researching Catholicism that I came to love it. I can’t imagine any true practicing Catholic not wanting to talk about his religion to a girlfriend. That shows something is wrong, one way or the other.
 
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