Catholic standing-up at non-Catholic weddings

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JoyIsLikeRain

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I’m a single young adult male and have a lot of local friends who are not Catholic, or lapsed Catholics.

I’ve been asked to be a groomsman at their non-denominational or Protestant weddings over the years.

I’ve definitely sat and watched a lot of weddings in a pew or lawn chair as well that wasn’t in a Catholic church.

I’ve done some mental inventory, and realized the following have occurred:
  1. I’ve witnessed two lapsed Catholics marry in a garden on the grounds of a rural retreat center owned by a Catholic order of priests.
  2. I’ve witnessed a wedding at a restaurant of a Catholic and a Protestant, not knowing until after the ceremony that it was conducted by the Catholic Priest uncle of the groom.
  3. I’ve stood-up a non-denominational wedding in a garden of a conservatory, not knowing until after the ceremony that it was being conducted by a laicized, former Catholic priest.
  4. I’ve stood up in weddings for Protestant-Catholic coupes in non-Catholic churches.
  5. The vast majority of Catholic weddings I’ve attended in Catholic churches were of couples who had cohabited for years before the marriage.
I feel like a huge sinner now.

I should probably have not attended any of these.

I was younger and looking forward to celebratory fun, and food, and cake, and dressing-up, mingling, meeting new people, and dancing.
 
You can always take it to confession and know better going forward. 🙂 We’re all sinners.

I did want to address the Catholic-Protestant wedding in a Protestant church. As long as a Catholic priest or deacon was part of the ceremony, it may very well have been valid. I was not Catholic at the time of my marriage but my husband was. My mother very much wanted me to get married in the church I grew up in for financial and sentimental reasons. A Catholic deacon performed the ceremony and obtained permission from our bishop in advance for it to be at a non-Catholic church.

So while some of the weddings you listed may be clear cut, others may have been perfectly valid. I would generally assume validity if there is a question.
 
JoyIsLikeRain said:
I’m a single young adult male and have a lot of local friends who are not Catholic, or lapsed Catholics.

I’ve been asked to be a groomsman at their non-denominational or Protestant weddings over the years.

I’ve definitely sat and watched a lot of weddings in a pew or lawn chair as well that wasn’t in a Catholic church.

I’ve done some mental inventory, and realized the following have occurred:
  1. I’ve witnessed two lapsed Catholics marry in a garden on the grounds of a rural retreat center owned by a Catholic order of priests.
  2. I’ve witnessed a wedding at a restaurant of a Catholic and a Protestant, not knowing until after the ceremony that it was conducted by the Catholic Priest uncle of the groom.
  3. I’ve stood-up a non-denominational wedding in a garden of a conservatory, not knowing until after the ceremony that it was being conducted by a laicized, former Catholic priest.
  4. I’ve stood up in weddings for Protestant-Catholic coupes in non-Catholic churches.
  5. The vast majority of Catholic weddings I’ve attended in Catholic churches were of couples who had cohabited for years before the marriage.
I feel like a huge sinner now.

I should probably have not attended any of these.

I was younger and looking forward to celebratory fun, and food, and cake, and dressing-up, mingling, meeting new people, and dancing.
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#5 is not an issue, and is a thing to be commended, not despised.

The rest are troublesome.
 
Attending a wedding is not a sin, especially if you didn’t know these facts until afterwards.
 
You should go to confession, and put it behind you.

Now you can perhaps bring them closer to God and the Catholic faith and thank God for this opportunity and friends to inspire.
 
JoyIsLikeRain said:
I’m a single young adult male and have a lot of local friends who are not Catholic, or lapsed Catholics.

I’ve been asked to be a groomsman at their non-denominational or Protestant weddings over the years.

I’ve definitely sat and watched a lot of weddings in a pew or lawn chair as well that wasn’t in a Catholic church.

I’ve done some mental inventory, and realized the following have occurred:
  1. I’ve witnessed two lapsed Catholics marry in a garden on the grounds of a rural retreat center owned by a Catholic order of priests.
  2. I’ve witnessed a wedding at a restaurant of a Catholic and a Protestant, not knowing until after the ceremony that it was conducted by the Catholic Priest uncle of the groom.
  3. I’ve stood-up a non-denominational wedding in a garden of a conservatory, not knowing until after the ceremony that it was being conducted by a laicized, former Catholic priest.
  4. I’ve stood up in weddings for Protestant-Catholic coupes in non-Catholic churches.
  5. The vast majority of Catholic weddings I’ve attended in Catholic churches were of couples who had cohabited for years before the marriage.
I feel like a huge sinner now.

I should probably have not attended any of these.

I was younger and looking forward to celebratory fun, and food, and cake, and dressing-up, mingling, meeting new people, and dancing.
Click to expand...
I used to be a marriage “warrior”
But we have lost the ability to articulate our position on the sacrament of marriage, so with the exception of ssm I now think we have lost the ability to judge other weddings. And I wish the church would separate herself from secular and non catholic marriage alltogether.
 
OP, I am not sure why you feel like a “huge sinner”? Most of these weddings you described may have been valid Christian weddings. It is not necessary for you or I to judge the state of others’ souls or their fitness for marriage, unless you happen to be their pastor.
 
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