Catholic Wedding Entrance Procession Question

[Ninja_Autobot]

Good day all. (I’m not 100% sure if this is the right place to post this question, so bear with me)

My beautiful fiancee and I are going to be married at our home parish this October, and we will have a full Mass celebrated. We have been going over much of the wedding plans, and today we met with the Liturgical/Music Coordinator. It was all going smoothly until we got to the processional.

According to our “Together For Life” book, we were given several options for the manner of procession, and the one we selected was that the procession would be the bridal party and groomsmen, any ministers, the presider and concelebrants, and then the groom, escorted by parent(s), then bride escorted by parent(s). We both like this idea, since we both want to be with our parents, and my fiancee does not like the idea of an enormous amount of attention being put on her (e.g. everyone stands only when she enters, special music for her, etc.). When we informed the coordinator of this, she told us that “it’s simply not the way it’s done at St. Francis (our church).” Apparently, the norm here is that the presiding priest/deacon, groomsmen, bridesmaids, and groom enter to the altar from the sanctuary, and then the bride enters the church, handed off to her husband by her father (as you often see, I noticed, in stereotypical secular weddings). Their reasoning? 1) We are not yet one flesh, therefore we should not process in together. 2) I am supposed to have the pleasure of seeing her walk down the aisle (even though I will be seeing her before Mass, since we are not superstitious and therefore do not mind seeing each other prior). 3) There was a vague reference made as to some Canon Law that says that the presider could not process in.

Now, normally this wouldn’t bug me so much, but these reasons seemed fishy to me. They tried to tell us that we had an “outdated” version of “Together for Life,” but I don’t think that’s the case.

After getting home, I did some research, and found the Rite of Marriage During Mass in the Novus Ordo (1970, and therefore current, missal) Ordo Celebrandi Matrimonium Intra Missam, as promulgated by His Holiness Pope Paul VI on March 16th, 1969:

1. If there is a procession to the altar, the ministers go first, followed by the priest, and then the bride and the bridegroom. According to local custom, they may be escorted by at least their parents and the two witnesses. Meanwhile, the entrance song is sung.

Furthermore, I did a quick search of the Code of Canon Law and found nothing opposing us.

Is there anyone here who can verify this, or find actual Codes of Canon Law/any other official document which can resolve this issue? We’re thinking of just arming ourselves with the quote from the Rite and demanding that we get our wedding procession like we want it, but any other help/resources would be most, well, helpful.

Thanks in advance!!

 

[Phemie]

Good day all. (I’m not 100% sure if this is the right place to post this question, so bear with me)

My beautiful fiancee and I are going to be married at our home parish this October, and we will have a full Mass celebrated. We have been going over much of the wedding plans, and today we met with the Liturgical/Music Coordinator. It was all going smoothly until we got to the processional.

According to our “Together For Life” book, we were given several options for the manner of procession, and the one we selected was that the procession would be the bridal party and groomsmen, any ministers, the presider and concelebrants, and then the groom, escorted by parent(s), then bride escorted by parent(s). We both like this idea, since we both want to be with our parents, and my fiancee does not like the idea of an enormous amount of attention being put on her (e.g. everyone stands only when she enters, special music for her, etc.). When we informed the coordinator of this, she told us that “it’s simply not the way it’s done at St. Francis (our church).” Apparently, the norm here is that the presiding priest/deacon, groomsmen, bridesmaids, and groom enter to the altar from the sanctuary, and then the bride enters the church, handed off to her husband by her father (as you often see, I noticed, in stereotypical secular weddings). Their reasoning? 1) We are not yet one flesh, therefore we should not process in together. 2) I am supposed to have the pleasure of seeing her walk down the aisle (even though I will be seeing her before Mass, since we are not superstitious and therefore do not mind seeing each other prior). 3) There was a vague reference made as to some Canon Law that says that the presider could not process in.

Now, normally this wouldn’t bug me so much, but these reasons seemed fishy to me. They tried to tell us that we had an “outdated” version of “Together for Life,” but I don’t think that’s the case.

After getting home, I did some research, and found the Rite of Marriage During Mass in the Novus Ordo (1970, and therefore current, missal) Ordo Celebrandi Matrimonium Intra Missam, as promulgated by His Holiness Pope Paul VI on March 16th, 1969:

Furthermore, I did a quick search of the Code of Canon Law and found nothing opposing us.

Is there anyone here who can verify this, or find actual Codes of Canon Law/any other official document which can resolve this issue? We’re thinking of just arming ourselves with the quote from the Rite and demanding that we get our wedding procession like we want it, but any other help/resources would be most, well, helpful.

Thanks in advance!!

There is nothing on this in the Code of Canon Law, which is about laws, not rubrics.

What you found in the Rite of Marriage is what the Church sees as the norm: the bride and groom enter together, either by themselves or accompanied by the wedding party and the parents. What your ‘planner’ is saying flies in the face of what the Church calls for. The bride and groom come last in the procession because they are the ministers of the sacrament which will be celebrated. The whole ‘handing off the bride to the groom’ makes me queasy, she’s not a thing to be passed along to another.

Usually it’s the priest wanting to follow the Rite and the bride fighting him tooth and nail, now we have a parish flouting the rubrics of the Rite of Marriage. Sometimes you just can’t win.

 

[puzzleannie]

the only resource you need is the pastor of the church where you are being married, or the priest who is marrying you. What he says goes. If you take issue with the coordinator’s explanation ask to meet which the priest (which you should certainly do in any case before the wedding).

 

[Sarabande]

the only resource you need is the pastor of the church where you are being married, or the priest who is marrying you. What he says goes. If you take issue with the coordinator’s explanation ask to meet which the priest (which you should certainly do in any case before the wedding).

Ditto on this! Many parishes have a “norm” as to how the procession should go. Believe me, I have cantored weddings at more Catholic churches than I can count in about 9 different states and numerous dioceses due to freelance work. Most of them did not follow that option you mentioned which is in the Together for Life book. Actually, none of the weddings I’ve ever cantored for did. That said, I’m sorry you have to go in to “fight” for it when it is an acceptable option.

I would really go to the pastor or priest marrying you over this. He may or may not go along with it. I know that some feel it’s easier to just keep to the way things are in their parishes and really don’t like to have different “options” available. From talking with them, I think it’s mainly because they are always dealing with picky brides or couples and they just want to be hard-nosed in order to keep the weddings from getting out of hand… even when what the couples request is actually appropriate. Others are ok with the different “options”. So, see what the pastor wants and if he says you can’t do it, to save yourselves the headache and do what the pastor says.

 

[Rudolfo]

That quote you very wisely researched seems to cover it all; the plan you and your bride like is perfectly acceptable. NOW: don’t talk to the music/liturgist about it. (My personal feeling is those people were put in parishes as a trial for the rest of us, some time off Purgatory; they are all the same).

If you can, please talk to the priest. Request a “brief appt to ask about a small part of the wedding that is confusing.” If he says “Talk to the liturgist” tell him, “Father, we already have, and she seems confused as well. I’m sure when you see what I want to do and the short document explaining it, you will not find this a burden.” Be very calm and polite, simply explain your plan and that the liturgist seems under a misapprehension this is not valid. However, here is the quote.

So simple, short, very respectful, speak kindly of the music/liturgy people as it’s only a misunderstanding not a battle. Any reasonable priest is going to let you have it your way. If he doesn’t make sure to know the reason why.

You may even have one of your parents come with you to the meeting; a priest will be less inclined to say no to folks who have been putting money in the collection basket for years, and he will see that the family unity aspect of the wedding is particularly special in your group.

 

[FAB]

Good day all. (I’m not 100% sure if this is the right place to post this question, so bear with me)

According to our “Together For Life” book, we were given several options for the manner of procession, and the one we selected was that the procession would be the bridal party and groomsmen, any ministers, the presider and concelebrants, and then the groom, escorted by parent(s), then bride escorted by parent(s). !!

What you read in together for life is correct. Normally we have the opposite problem were the bride insist on have a full parade, which actually comes from pegan tradition, not Catholic.

Express your wishes to the pastor to keep the simpler formular. The weeding is about the couple and it is a wonderful sign of the couple coming in together. Also if your choose to be escorted by your parents, this has a scriptual basis. " A man (woman) shall leave his parent, and the two shall become one.

Perhaps you can educate the wedding planning and pastor on the proper way of the procession.

 

[Sarabande]

So simple, short, very respectful, speak kindly of the music/liturgy people as it’s only a misunderstanding not a battle. Any reasonable priest is going to let you have it your way. If he doesn’t make sure to know the reason why.

You may even have one of your parents come with you to the meeting; a priest will be less inclined to say no to folks who have been putting money in the collection basket for years, and he will see that the family unity aspect of the wedding is particularly special in your group.

So true… Great advice!

Unfortunately I have seen that abused where the priest allowed something that liturgically wasn’t correct (ie. allowing a Beatle’s or other secular song sung or a poem read in place of reading) because the parents of the bride/groom threatened to not give any more money to the parish, etc. Pretty bad.