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TreeHugger
Guest
How much is reasonable to spend on a Catholic wedding?
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yochumjy
Guest
Isn’t the correct response: It depends.
What can you afford, what are your goals, what are you willing to do yourself, how good are your friends
, etc. And as long as you aren’t irresponsible with yours/parents (if you are lucky) money, why should it matter.I don’t think there is any right answer to this one…
John
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chimakuni
Guest
The wedding itself should not be more than the gift to the priest…and that would depend on each parish. Ask your parish office for guidelines.
The extras: invitations, music, flowers, dresses, tuxes, hairdressers, manicures, shoes, limos, rehearsal dinner, reception, cake, champagne, thank you notes, stamps, and what am I leaving out?..that is another story! Oh yes, the engagement ring, the wedding rings and the honeymoon, the marriage license, the thank you gifts, etc.,…whew! I am glad I am already married!
It depends on the location of the wedding. In some areas you would be looking at over $20,000 and in others, well, I would reckon, you could get away with as little as $5,000 for the wedding and the reception.
God Bless
The extras: invitations, music, flowers, dresses, tuxes, hairdressers, manicures, shoes, limos, rehearsal dinner, reception, cake, champagne, thank you notes, stamps, and what am I leaving out?..that is another story! Oh yes, the engagement ring, the wedding rings and the honeymoon, the marriage license, the thank you gifts, etc.,…whew! I am glad I am already married!
It depends on the location of the wedding. In some areas you would be looking at over $20,000 and in others, well, I would reckon, you could get away with as little as $5,000 for the wedding and the reception.
God Bless
V
Viki59
Guest
We renewed our vows in the Catholic church recently, and though we intended to keep it absolutely simple, it got a little out of hand and ended up being similar to our Protestant wedding eleven years ago.
We have three children so finances are tight. We gave a gift of a couple hundred to the church, paid the cook $200 and provided the meat for 30 people,(it was a Mexican wedding- barbecued chivo, rice, frijoles and salsa), bought some doodads like flowers, and new clothes, $150 - 200 for my dress, a new dress for my daughter and suit for my son, that’s about it. Oh, and a cake for $25. We probably spent $800.00. Providing a good Catholic education for the children takes top priority.
We had about 30 people who came and were an absolute blessing – 16 adults and 13 children. Everyone has said it was a lovely wedding.
We have three children so finances are tight. We gave a gift of a couple hundred to the church, paid the cook $200 and provided the meat for 30 people,(it was a Mexican wedding- barbecued chivo, rice, frijoles and salsa), bought some doodads like flowers, and new clothes, $150 - 200 for my dress, a new dress for my daughter and suit for my son, that’s about it. Oh, and a cake for $25. We probably spent $800.00. Providing a good Catholic education for the children takes top priority.
We had about 30 people who came and were an absolute blessing – 16 adults and 13 children. Everyone has said it was a lovely wedding.
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pnewton
Guest
My wife and I had to pay for our own wedding. We did buy a new dress at about $600 and that was about half the total expense. I had the flowers and cake done at cost, about $200 for both. When time comes for my daughters wedding, I will provide for her, but only within a reasonable budget.
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Almeria
Guest
I think that wedding costs could vary so much depending on the variety of factors others have already listed, so I didn’t vote. I do think that as Catholics we have an obligation to go for as inexpensive a wedding as possible under our own circumstances. There is no reason to be frivilious on wedding expenses. We had a modest wedding, much less than what my parents had budgeted. I had many Catholic friends who had a lavish wedding that were still paying for it 3 years later, and struggling to make ends meet because of it. I hope that I raise my girls (and boys, too, for that matter) to not want a lavish wedding. My husband and I have talked about it after reflecting on our own wedding, and we’ll probably offer our girls X amount of money for the wedding, but 2X as a gift for the marriage if they go with a very simple ceremony (immediate family of both sides, and reception just being done at home; that type of thing). We want them to understand that the focus should not be on one day’s events, but on the lifetime they will be spending together.
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thechrismyster
Guest
i’m getting married in october, our wedding, everything modest…100 people, modest reception… costing us about $15000. that is with us doing the invitations & the programs, a dj, simple flowers, 1 limo- heck, one florist we met with STARTED his pricing at 4 grand - photographers with any sense of professionalism started at 2500 somalians… i actually am amazed to hear people who pull it off for less than 5 grand. - (in retrospect i should have gotten married in vegas and just had the priest bless the marriage when we got home - would have saved 14,000 dollars - thats a huge chunk of change) - the costs are a big hit for a couple trying to start off fiscally happy… (these costs are east coast big city prices, i’m sure some parts of the country are much less expensive)
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SeekerJen
Guest
Ours was about 150 people, mostly family, and the reception was a luncheon with no DJ (we did have a lovely string quartet play, friends of a friend). All in all, with dress, church costs, food/drink, cake, photos, invites, etc., I think the total cost was about $8000. That’s a lot cheaper than many of my cousins’ weddings were.
Viki59, the food at your reception sounds like it was muy bien! (I’m half-Mexican. LOVE the food.)
Viki59, the food at your reception sounds like it was muy bien! (I’m half-Mexican. LOVE the food.)
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Rascal
Guest
It certainly takes effort to find “cheap” but good florists and photographers. My wife and I were lucky to have had a wonderful photographer who had a modest fee. We had to buy an equal amount in photographs, which was no problem. The pictures were wonderful, so many people purchased pictures.
It turns out, this photographer has apparently become nationally renowned and is now much too expensive. A few poeple checked out his prices and we couldn’t believe the difference.
Talking with friends and family can usually help in finding good references for price/quality. Things can add up quickly.
Another thought, we ordered a limo. We didn’t really need one, but thought it would be fun. It turns out they never showed up, so my brother (best man) drove us around town for pictures and to the reception. Easy money saved after getting the refund!
It turns out, this photographer has apparently become nationally renowned and is now much too expensive. A few poeple checked out his prices and we couldn’t believe the difference.
Talking with friends and family can usually help in finding good references for price/quality. Things can add up quickly.
Another thought, we ordered a limo. We didn’t really need one, but thought it would be fun. It turns out they never showed up, so my brother (best man) drove us around town for pictures and to the reception. Easy money saved after getting the refund!
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Seven_Sorrows
Guest
I think we spent less than $6000 and it was awesome. Sweet flowers, full chinese food diner for 130 people, photographer, new dress, decorations. We did it all ourselves, NEVER go through a consulatant. Find your favorite restaurant and ask them to cater, it cost us $10 a plate!!! and that is how much it cost in the restaurant, and they delivered and everything!
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kage_ar
Guest
We were not yet Catholic when we were married - had we been the only difference would have been the parish church instead of the non-denominational chapel - it was a small ceremony for family and close friends. Cost was less than $1000, reception was at my mom and dad’s house (old fashioned cake and punch reception), dream chapel was a couple of hundred dollars - (I’d discovered it in an architectual magazine and saved it for years, we saved money by getting married on Friday instead of Saturday), we did our own flowers, had a co-worker take pictures/video, had friends do music, and the dress was hunting in discount places/remake.
Going into debt or spending thousands of dollars on a wedding comes off as gluttony. A wedding is about God and Family, not how fancy can your party be to impress everyone… If you have the extra money, donate it to those in need!
Going into debt or spending thousands of dollars on a wedding comes off as gluttony. A wedding is about God and Family, not how fancy can your party be to impress everyone… If you have the extra money, donate it to those in need!
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dhgray
Guest
All you need is a pastor and $50 for a donation. Everything after that is fluff.
Too many people get too stressed out over having a big wedding, a big ring, a big honeymoon, etc. These things are great, however, the only thing you need at the wedding is Jesus. Too many times, we get so wrapped up on the “BIGNESS” of the wedding we forget to invite Him.
Too many people get too stressed out over having a big wedding, a big ring, a big honeymoon, etc. These things are great, however, the only thing you need at the wedding is Jesus. Too many times, we get so wrapped up on the “BIGNESS” of the wedding we forget to invite Him.
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mark1270
Guest
What I have found amazing is the number of people who plan the reception to the last detail and treat the church portion of the wedding, you know the ACTUAL wedding, almost as an afterthought.
My wife and I had a very nice wedding. The church was very reasonably priced. We did pay extra for additional flowers and to have four members/musicians of the choir play for the ceremony. The church and music were absolutely beautiful.
For the reception we decided that we wanted to be laid-back and relaxed. We served BBQ (5.25/plate including Tea). Celebrated at a city park (actually a stone building with large patio designed for events like a reception, but still very cheap). Had friends help us decorate. Had a friend, who is an amatuer photographer, take photos. Used plastic tablecloths, the parks tables and metal folding chairs, white christamas lights from home, and a couple of kegs of beer. We tried to do things as nice and as inexpensive as possible. We did splurge on a live band though (by far the largest expense on the list). We love music and that was our treat to each other. Overall we spent less than $8000 and that includes the ring and wedding dress. We planned on about 200 guest.
Overall it was the nicest wedding reception I’ve ever gone to, I would have enjoyed it even if I wasn’t the groom
My wife and I had a very nice wedding. The church was very reasonably priced. We did pay extra for additional flowers and to have four members/musicians of the choir play for the ceremony. The church and music were absolutely beautiful.
For the reception we decided that we wanted to be laid-back and relaxed. We served BBQ (5.25/plate including Tea). Celebrated at a city park (actually a stone building with large patio designed for events like a reception, but still very cheap). Had friends help us decorate. Had a friend, who is an amatuer photographer, take photos. Used plastic tablecloths, the parks tables and metal folding chairs, white christamas lights from home, and a couple of kegs of beer. We tried to do things as nice and as inexpensive as possible. We did splurge on a live band though (by far the largest expense on the list). We love music and that was our treat to each other. Overall we spent less than $8000 and that includes the ring and wedding dress. We planned on about 200 guest.
Overall it was the nicest wedding reception I’ve ever gone to, I would have enjoyed it even if I wasn’t the groom
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BLB_Oregon
Guest
It depends, although the best answer is probably “something less than what you have.” Anyone who thinks you ought to go into debt when throwing a wedding ought to have their head examined.
I have 40 cousins just on my dad’s side, and most were married with kids when I got married, so our choice was to have about 50 present (immediate family, no aunts, uncles, or cousins except for godparents) or to invite about 400-500… you’re starting your family, so your guests expect to bring theirs. The custom in our parts is to provide a picnic-style dinner… not too elaborate, but satisfying enough for the teenagers and manual laborers in attendance. To scale back to coffee, punch, and cake when you don’t have to (again, in our circle) is kind of like saying you aren’t interested in having the family stay around for a good long time to catch up. (Weddings and funerals, that’s when we all see each other!) The food and all that isn’t to impress anyone, but just to give them a good excuse to stay and visit and a good way to make sure their kids are not miserable. In our family, beer and wine, yes, hard liquor, no… celebration without intoxication is the goal. Still, with a nice big Catholic family… not cheap. The same with the decorations and your “costuming”. It doesn’t have to look like a coronation, but it should look like a celebration, within the realities of your standard of living.
What that costs depends on where you live and how much self-restraint you have. If you are bargain-minded (flowers that are in season, less expensive food choices, restraint in the size of the wedding party, family-provided labor), it will be a lot less than if you’re playing out some fantasy of being royalty for a day.
Do some shopping around and ask advice of your local family and friends (if any have gone before). Most will have some if-I-knew-then-what-I-know-now pointers that will be helpful. Then pencil it out, add at least 10% to your estimate, and start deciding what is and isn’t realistic for you.
Mine: Look in some older wedding albums. I think that the most expensive, trendiest stuff is what looks the silliest a decade or two down the road… and you’ll also get a grip on how much of the day should be dedicated to being posed for pictures of yourselves. Beyond the first several of you and your spouse on your first day as such, those pictures of Aunt May and Uncle Harry chatting with your parents will be the pictures you’ll treasure.
I have 40 cousins just on my dad’s side, and most were married with kids when I got married, so our choice was to have about 50 present (immediate family, no aunts, uncles, or cousins except for godparents) or to invite about 400-500… you’re starting your family, so your guests expect to bring theirs. The custom in our parts is to provide a picnic-style dinner… not too elaborate, but satisfying enough for the teenagers and manual laborers in attendance. To scale back to coffee, punch, and cake when you don’t have to (again, in our circle) is kind of like saying you aren’t interested in having the family stay around for a good long time to catch up. (Weddings and funerals, that’s when we all see each other!) The food and all that isn’t to impress anyone, but just to give them a good excuse to stay and visit and a good way to make sure their kids are not miserable. In our family, beer and wine, yes, hard liquor, no… celebration without intoxication is the goal. Still, with a nice big Catholic family… not cheap. The same with the decorations and your “costuming”. It doesn’t have to look like a coronation, but it should look like a celebration, within the realities of your standard of living.
What that costs depends on where you live and how much self-restraint you have. If you are bargain-minded (flowers that are in season, less expensive food choices, restraint in the size of the wedding party, family-provided labor), it will be a lot less than if you’re playing out some fantasy of being royalty for a day.
Do some shopping around and ask advice of your local family and friends (if any have gone before). Most will have some if-I-knew-then-what-I-know-now pointers that will be helpful. Then pencil it out, add at least 10% to your estimate, and start deciding what is and isn’t realistic for you.
Mine: Look in some older wedding albums. I think that the most expensive, trendiest stuff is what looks the silliest a decade or two down the road… and you’ll also get a grip on how much of the day should be dedicated to being posed for pictures of yourselves. Beyond the first several of you and your spouse on your first day as such, those pictures of Aunt May and Uncle Harry chatting with your parents will be the pictures you’ll treasure.
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Thomas2
Guest
I have no idea but God bless and how many other children do you have to get married?
Peace and all good,
Thomas2
P.S. Remind them that they can go on a honey moon when they get older!
Peace and all good,
Thomas2
P.S. Remind them that they can go on a honey moon when they get older!
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Thomas2
Guest
Oh, I saw a wedding picture from a long time ago where the bride was holding a prayer book with ribbons with flowers on them instead of a bridal bouquet of flowers. I thought it was a really cool idea that should make a come back. I asked at the local Catholic goods store and it turns out that it used to be a missalette, but I thought how about the mother’s prayer book or something else like it? I have really very limited knowlege about Catholic traditions, but it would be a nice idea. God bless you and all your children! May the peace of Christ warm your hearts and hearths.
Peace and all good,
Thomas2
I’ll be praying for you!
Peace and all good,
Thomas2
I’ll be praying for you!
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Fitz
Guest
Spend time on the pre wedding Cana talks and retreat weekends. I still rememeber the talks that the couples gave at ours. It was a great experience. Also spend a lot of time planning the ceremony.
Unfortunately most of my friends are divorced. Your relationship is the most important thing to work on, with the help of God and with much prayer.
The amount of money you have depends on how much you could spend. Many young people are getting creative on having econimical weddings. It is OK to have a big wedding, but overspending is probably a sin.
I think that the amount of money and the size should take a back seat to the religious planning. It is a sacrament first.
Unfortunately most of my friends are divorced. Your relationship is the most important thing to work on, with the help of God and with much prayer.
The amount of money you have depends on how much you could spend. Many young people are getting creative on having econimical weddings. It is OK to have a big wedding, but overspending is probably a sin.
I think that the amount of money and the size should take a back seat to the religious planning. It is a sacrament first.
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TreeHugger
Guest
hey Thomas2,
The reason i asked this question is because my fiance and i are planning our wedding for next august. we’re both students, and we’re paying for our own wedding.
Thanks to everyone who has so far checked out this poll!
The reason i asked this question is because my fiance and i are planning our wedding for next august. we’re both students, and we’re paying for our own wedding.
Thanks to everyone who has so far checked out this poll!
A
Almeria
Guest
TreeHugger, if you’re students and getting married at/near your school, you’ll have more bargains available to you. Students don’t have much money to give wedding gifts, so instead, ask for a “gifts in kind” type thing. Know a guy with a huge cd collection? There’s your dj! You can rent a cd player and amplifier from a Rent-A-Center inexpensively for the dj to use. Prefer to have live music? Many small bands on campus would be glad to play for a small (or even no) fee. Depending on the size of your school, you may even have a university jazz club, and you can get a jazz trio for a good price. Ask friends with good voices if they can sing at your wedding. If you’re in a sorority or club, they may love to help you decorate the reception hall for no charge (although a few pizzas would be a nice touch). If your school offers a flower arranging class (don’t laugh–I’ve seen it!), see if they can do your flowers for you. Food/hospitality classes often can do catering; if that’s not an option, know anyone who is a good cook? You pay for the food, and they prepare it as their gift to you. If you’re thinking of finger foods for the reception, sororities or groups of friends can help you cut them up. Know any seamstresses? My mother-in-law sewed my wedding dress for me–saved me a bundle! Cupcake wedding cakes have gotten very popular, and can save a ton on cake costs. You can arrange them on tiered cake platters, and can look simply amazing. That’s another thing that can be done yourself (or by others wanting to help you) to save money.
The main thing to keep in mind going down this road is that it is a two way street. Help others with their weddings! Help others in need to something–if the jazz trio struggles with their chemistry homework and your future husband is a chem whiz, have him tutor them. There’s tons of options available to you!
The main thing to keep in mind going down this road is that it is a two way street. Help others with their weddings! Help others in need to something–if the jazz trio struggles with their chemistry homework and your future husband is a chem whiz, have him tutor them. There’s tons of options available to you!
C
CatholicSamurai
Guest
I voted for $1000 - $5000. This is reasonable for me since I plan to marry in my home country. I actually need to raise about $4000. In my home country, that amount is enough to feed both clans but I’m not really asking for a big wedding. Please pray for me.
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