Catholic without a Parish?

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Hello everyone!

Here’s my problem: I’m a teacher staying in touch with a student I used to teach in another part of the world. I got to know his family very well, and the parents like the idea of us staying in touch.

He’s 12, and, about a month ago he told me he converted to Catholicism. (He was raised Protestant.)

He’s learned a lot about the faith, and bought a copy of the CCC, but says that he can’t fulfil the Holy Days of Obligation or observe the sacraments. His parents are supportive, and his Dad brought him to a Mass, but he says they don’t understand that the Holy Days of Obligation and the Sacraments are crucial. His dad said, “I understand, but you should just love God and love your neighbor.” (I’d talk to them, but I feel very uncomfortable doing so.) Also, the parish isn’t in walking distance.

So my question is: Can he be Catholic without a Parish to go to Mass every week and get the Sacraments? Is there a Church teaching that says what happens in a situation where somebody simply can’t go to a parish at all? If not (for both questions) what is some advice I can give my friend?

Thanks!
 
When you say “Holy Days of Obligation,” do you mean Sundays as well? Do his parents bring him to Mass on Sundays? If so, and if by “the sacraments” you mean confession, he can always ask a priest to hear his confession before or after Sunday Mass once a month or so.

If his parents refuse to take him to Mass even on Sundays, it doesn’t sound like they are being “supportive” at all. I am surprised he would have been received into the Catholic Church without some founded hope that he would be able to practice the faith. (This raises another question in my mind. Has your friend been formally received into the Catholic Church with all the sacraments of initiation — Baptism, Eucharist, and Confirmation — or does he just “consider” himself Catholic? Formal reception into the Church would have required a substantial amount of preparation and instruction, and that would have entailed a lot of cooperation on the part of the parents.)

Also, what is the parents’ motivation in not letting him go to Mass? Is it that they resent his becoming Catholic?

Or is it that they just don’t feel like driving him to church? If that is the case, he might ask his pastor to connect him with some reliable Catholic family in his neighborhood who could drive him to church (with his parents’ permission, of course).

It sounds like it might have been better if he had waited until he was a little older and more independent before joining the Church against his parents’ wishes.

If he is truly unable to get to Mass, it is not a sin on his part. But it does make it very difficult for him to grow in his faith without regular access to the Eucharist and his faith community.

At the age of 12, catechesis is another issue. He should be receiving regular instruction in the Catholic faith at his age.

By the way, he is a member of the Catholic parish in whose geographic jurisdiction he resides. Even if he is unable to attend Mass regularly (through no fault of his own), the pastor of that parish is responsible for assisting him with whatever he needs for his spiritual welfare. If this is important to your friend (as it should be), perhaps he could contact the pastor by telephone or letter and ask for his assistance.
 
Thanks for your response!

No, he hasn’t received any of the Sacraments of initiation. I think he considers himself Catholic because he accepts the teachings of the Church as infallible and Holy.

He’s told me that his parents don’t take him to Mass because they don’t see how it isn’t just another denomination. (They attend a Protestant Church Sunday morning.)

He’s also told me that his real concern is that he won’t receive salvation if he can’t observe the sacraments or go to a parish if he is unable too. You touched on that somewhat in your post, but I suppose it just wasn’t clear enough for me…

Thanks!
 
No, he hasn’t received any of the Sacraments of initiation. I think he considers himself Catholic because he accepts the teachings of the Church as infallible and Holy.
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Your post makes more sense now. He is not Catholic, but he has a strong desire to be Catholic. That is a good thing!
He’s told me that his parents don’t take him to Mass because they don’t see how it isn’t just another denomination. (They attend a Protestant Church Sunday morning.)
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They are probably doing what they think is right. You and your friend can pray for their conversion.
He’s also told me that his real concern is that he won’t receive salvation if he can’t observe the sacraments or go to a parish if he is unable too.
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God sees the desire in your friend’s heart. Even if your friend is not baptized, I think that the doctrine of baptism of desire might apply in his case, as we read in the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
1259 For catechumens who die before their Baptism, their explicit desire to receive it, together with repentance for their sins, and charity, assures them the salvation that they were not able to receive through the sacrament.
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God also honors your friend’s obedience to his parents, and his patience in awaiting the time when he can be fully received into the Catholic Church. Some practical things he might do in the mean time:
  • Learn as much as possible about the Catholic faith.
  • Contact a local priest and let him know of his desire to become Catholic. Perhaps the priest can help smooth things over with the parents, or give him some instructional materials, or just reassure him that it is okay to wait for now.
  • In prayer, let God know how much he desires to be part of the Catholic Church, and ask the Holy Spirit for guidance on how to bring it about.
  • Pray for the conversion of his parents. And by being very loving and kind to his parents, he can demonstrate to them that his newly found faith is having a positive effect on him.
  • As his desire for the Eucharist grows, he can make frequent acts of spiritual communion. This is a prayer telling God that he believes in Jesus’ presence in Holy Communion and desires to receive Him sacramentally, and asking Jesus to enter him spiritually until the time that he can receive Holy Communion. Several formal acts of spiritual communion have been written. Here is one example, or he can use his own words:
Act of Spiritual Communion
(Saint Alphonsus Maria de’ Liguori)
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My Jesus, I believe that You are present in the Blessed Sacrament. I love You above all things and I desire You in my soul. Since I cannot now receive You sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart. As though You were already there, I embrace You and unite myself to You; permit not that I should ever be separated from You.
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Thank you so, so, so very much, my friend! This has been extremely helpful!
 
Is he in a country where Christianity is a crime? He can attend “Mass” by watching EWTN, to help fill his spiritual hunger.
 
JJ59 said:
Hello everyone!

Here’s my problem: I’m a teacher staying in touch with a student I used to teach in another part of the world. I got to know his family very well, and the parents like the idea of us staying in touch.

He’s 12, and, about a month ago he told me he converted to Catholicism. (He was raised Protestant.)

He’s learned a lot about the faith, and bought a copy of the CCC, but says that he can’t fulfil the Holy Days of Obligation or observe the sacraments. His parents are supportive, and his Dad brought him to a Mass, but he says they don’t understand that the Holy Days of Obligation and the Sacraments are crucial. His dad said, “I understand, but you should just love God and love your neighbor.” (I’d talk to them, but I feel very uncomfortable doing so.) Also, the parish isn’t in walking distance.

So my question is: Can he be Catholic without a Parish to go to Mass every week and get the Sacraments? Is there a Church teaching that says what happens in a situation where somebody simply can’t go to a parish at all? If not (for both questions) what is some advice I can give my friend?

Thanks!
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Just keep praying for him and stay in touch. And keep up the good work of being a wonderful example of the faith. I will also pray for him.
 
jj59 -

Because your friend is a CHILD who is under the protection and authority of his parents, you might want to suggest that he take such questions to a meeting with the nearest Catholic priest. A priest in his own country can most easily advise him of relevant particulars. If you planted the seed, fine.

It might take many others to water the earth before Christ can bring the growth.

I’ve worked with children for many years. (40+ years.)
It’s a bit of heaven on earth, isn’t it?
 
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