Catholics closer to chimps than Protestants?

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Forest-Pine

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So I saw a news article that says "Chimp and human DNA is 96% identical"

Given the results to the test I took on BeliefNet, does that mean I have more in common with a chimp (96%) than I do with a non-Catholic (86%)?
  1. Eastern Orthodox (100%)
  2. Roman Catholic (100%)
  3. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (86%)
  4. Seventh Day Adventist (86%)
  5. Orthodox Quaker (82%)
  6. Hinduism (63%)
  7. Orthodox Judaism (59%)
  8. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (57%)
  9. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (52%)
  10. Islam (50%)
  11. Sikhism (46%)
  12. Jehovah’s Witness (45%)
  13. Bahá’í Faith (42%)
  14. Liberal Quakers (41%)
  15. Jainism (36%)
  16. Unitarian Universalism (29%)
  17. Mahayana Buddhism (28%)
  18. Theravada Buddhism (28%)
  19. Reform Judaism (27%)
  20. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (18%)
  21. Neo-Pagan (17%)
  22. Scientology (15%)
  23. Nontheist (13%)
  24. New Thought (12%)
  25. New Age (12%)
  26. Taoism (11%)
  27. Secular Humanism (10%)
 
DNA-wise, I think you’d be closer to the Protestant. 😃

In religion it’s a tough call… you’d have to hand out the survey to a sample population of chimps, hehe.

The interesting thing is, though, animals have no choice but to do God’s will for them. Humans he gave free will and the closer to following the teachings of the church we are, the more aligned we are with his will for us.

Doesn’t that make you think? Me neither. :hmmm:
 
Forest-Pine said:
Given the results to the test I took on BeliefNet, does that mean I have more in common with a chimp (96%) than I do with a non-Catholic (86%)?
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I don’t think it means that, because the BeliefNet test presumably measures belief, and the chimp statistic is about DNA.

You have an immortal soul; I think that makes you vastly different from a chimp. 🙂

Crazy Internet Junkies Society
Carrier of the Angelic Sparkles Sprinkle Bag
 
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CarolAnnSFO:
You have an immortal soul; I think that makes you vastly different from a chimp. 🙂
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Pope John Paul II proclaimed that “the animals possess a soul and men must love and feel solidarity with our smaller brethren.” He went on to say that all animals are “fruit of the creative action of the Holy Spirit and merit respect” and that they are “as near to God as men are.”
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Exoflare:
In religion it’s a tough call… you’d have to hand out the survey to a sample population of chimps, hehe.

The interesting thing is, though, animals have no choice but to do God’s will for them. Humans he gave free will and the closer to following the teachings of the church we are, the more aligned we are with his will for us.

Doesn’t that make you think?
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It does make me think… I’d say Catholics have the fullness of truth. Animals live the fullness of truth. If we choose to be obedient to God, we are living a life like the animals (in total submission to Him.) Then a devout Catholic does indeed have more in common with the average chimp!! So the variable is not the chimp, but the Catholic. His level of devoutness has an inverse relationship to his similarity to Protestants but a linear relationship with his similarity to chimps.

So our attempts at ecumenism should be extended to the chimps! We can now communicate with them through flash cards, sign language, and language boards. They are already living in the fullness of truth. We just need to invite a couple to Mass every week and I am sure there will be a mass movement of conversions! After all, we have so much in common already!!

:rotfl:
 
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Forest-Pine:
Pope John Paul II proclaimed that “the animals possess a soul and men must love and feel solidarity with our smaller brethren.” He went on to say that all animals are “fruit of the creative action of the Holy Spirit and merit respect” and that they are “as near to God as men are.”

It does make me think… I’d say Catholics have the fullness of truth. Animals live the fullness of truth. If we choose to be obedient to God, we are living a life like the animals (in total submission to Him.) Then a devout Catholic does indeed have more in common with the average chimp!! So the variable is not the chimp, but the Catholic. His level of devoutness has an inverse relationship to his similarity to Protestants but a linear relationship with his similarity to chimps.

So our attempts at ecumenism should be extended to the chimps! We can now communicate with them through flash cards, sign language, and language boards. They are already living in the fullness of truth. We just need to invite a couple to Mass every week and I am sure there will be a mass movement of conversions! After all, we have so much in common already!!

:rotfl:
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I hear enough complaints about noisy children in mass… I wouldn’t reccomend bringing in the chimps! 😉
 
If we bring in the chimps, will the female chimps want to become priests??
 
Forest-Pine said:
So I saw a news article that says "Chimp and human DNA is 96% identical"

Given the results to the test I took on BeliefNet, does that mean I have more in common with a chimp (96%) than I do with a non-Catholic (86%)?
Click to expand...

Humans share over 70% of their DNA with turnips. Which means, I guess, that as a Catholic, that you have more in common with garden vegetables than with Liberal Christian Protestants (57%), Mormons (52%), Jehovah’s Witness (45%) and Unitarians (29%). 😛
 
I had to read this. I was a palentologist before I entered the holy life. Not to spoil the fun, but questioning the humanity of groups has caused considerable trouble in the past, like the Jewish Holocost, the Irish Holocost (erroniously known as the Potato Famine) the Native American Holocost (erroniously known as Manefest Destiny) and American slavery. I would also point out that all baptism is into the Roman Catholic Church, even if the Seperated Breatherin are in imperfect communion, and stridently deny the fact. :tsktsk: Sorry.
 
Desert Father,
I respect your position. I do think it is a bit of a stretch to say Catholics should attempt to live like animals in total submission to God and might therefore consider inviting said animals into communion with the church (and contemplating the difficulties that might ensue) to the jump that we are now promoting an ideology of equivalence to the Shoah.

Matt16_18,
I laughed so hard when I read that because I had said the same thing–but bananas–to my husband!! It underscores the commanality of all life and the Source from which it came.

Ahimsa,
I hear female chimps rather like being moms. I think it is the men we’d have to worry about. Hanging from the chandeliers and such. It might look more like an evengelical service with the male chimps grunting out Amen! during the homily!! I wonder how they’d look dressed up in the KofC outfits… :rotfl:

Carol Marie,
You mean you don’t like sitting in the cry room where the 7-10 year olds run around screaming and playing and beating on the glass? Don’t chimps just kinda hang on to mom’s back? It might teach the noisy kids a lesson!
 
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Matt16_18:
Humans share over 70% of their DNA with turnips. Which means, I guess, that as a Catholic, that you have more in common with garden vegetables than with Liberal Christian Protestants (57%), Mormons (52%), Jehovah’s Witness (45%) and Unitarians (29%). 😛
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turnips and chimps are all made by God, Catholics are simply closer to every God’s creation. while Taoist and secular humanist are closer to little green men(now that’s a paradox, do ETs exist? if so, they’re God’s creation as well)
 
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abcdefg:
Taoist and secular humanist are closer to little green men(now that’s a paradox, do ETs exist? if so, they’re God’s creation as well)
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Oh, no. Not a paradox in the least. The question is what kind of DNA comparisons can be made between the ETs, Turnips, Chimps, and Catholics! Hmmm…

Man with Alien
http://libnt4.lib.tcu.edu/windows/1002/LIBRALIEN.JPG

Man with Turnips
http://www.umass.edu/cdl/images/Turnip-Gr.jpg

Yeah, I’d say we are closer to the aliens. The problem that would raise, though, is if aliens have genders. If not, then would we designate some attribute to allow them to the priesthood, or would they be outright banned?
 
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Matt16_18:
Humans share over 70% of their DNA with turnips. Which means, I guess, that as a Catholic, that you have more in common with garden vegetables than with Liberal Christian Protestants (57%), Mormons (52%), Jehovah’s Witness (45%) and Unitarians (29%). 😛
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That explains a lot 😛 👍​

 
Gottle of Geer said:
## That explains a lot 😛 👍 ##
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Do you know how to get a Unitarian family to move out of town?

Burn a question mark in their front yard. 😉 😃
 
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Matt16_18:
Do you know how to get a Unitarian family to move out of town?

Burn a question mark in their front yard.
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UUs. Interesting group. Believe whatever you want, if you want, when you want. Apparently they have a set of “core beliefs” now. Of course, they are only as true for you as you want them to be. :ehh:

Turnips and aliens and chimps, though. I think we have some potential there! I’ll be bringing a couple of turnips along with me to church tomorrow to see how they like things. They were really excited. Said no one had ever invited them before. They were worried about their clothes not being adequete. I told them I’d keep their pretty green dresses looking great. Put 'em in the fridge. Then my dad went and ate the turnip greens! So I am hand-sewing little outfits for the turnips to wear to church in the morning. And, of course, little turnip head church dolls to match. 😛

http://www.foodmuseum.com/images/turnip1.jpg
 
remember that though we may be decended from monkeys, we are laso decendantrs of monks (not direct discendants though, thing metaphorically).
 
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