Celebrating the Holidays and Loneliness

[CatholicWife1]

So my husband and I have not been blessed with any (living) children yet. We had two very early miscarriages, but we definitely want to grow our family. That said, we feel like something is missing especially around the holidays. My family isn’t a part of our lives (they’re abusive) and his family had been a bit unwelcoming to me the past few years (and most recently my MIL made a completely inappropriate passive aggressive remark towards me, which really hurt). This year we are planning to celebrate the holidays just us together, but without more people and love surrounding us, it feels a bit lonely. Has anyone confronted these challenges and have good ideas on making the most of the holidays just as a couple? Should we just plan to take a trip or something? I really don’t want to get bogged down by bad feelings this time of year. Its suppose to be joyful! God bless!

 

[DarkLight]

I’ve been the single person by myself for the holidays a few times, and I was quite grateful for the families who often invited us into their homes. (We were also extremely grateful that many of these families took the transit dependent among us to church.) So that might be one thing to consider, seeing if anyone at your parish is alone for the holidays. Volunteering is also an option; many places have special things to do on holidays.

 

[Lee1]

I’d try to something you don’t usually do to make the occasion different.

A meal or a show or the movies. Or perhaps a nice drive out somewhere and a stroll in the autumn air?

 

[Allegra]

I have not personally been in this situation, but I’m pretty sure I know what I’d do if I was. There are dozens of families stranded in the NICU and local children’s hospital. They need volunteers to help provide some sort of celebration for those sick kids, their siblings, and their families. If I was available to help, that’s where I’d go. Some of their celebrations are actually on other days around the holiday, so I might go to some of them anyway. Other options are nursing homes, retirement homes, homeless shelters. There are lots of people out there with no one to visit with.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

Volunteer at a soup kitchen?

Also, beware to fall into the trap of what holidays “should” look like.
You and hubby celebrate in a way that is meaningful to you.
Christmas is not fairy lights and tinsel.

 

[Convert3]

Holidays can be tough. I’ve had many years alone or where working was the only thing keeping me sane.
Somebody else out there is also lonely. Maybe at your parish. Keep yourself open minded and consider inviting others into your home for the holidays. I’ll never forget one family that invited me into their home one year. May God Bless them!!

 

[ontheway1]

I am just wondering if your parish community should not provide for people in the situation you are describing. I suspect that there are many individuals who are alone, or nearly alone during the holidays and maybe the church ought to step up. Loneliness and isolation are a growing problem in this country and what an opportunity this presents for the Christian communities to intervene.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Parishes are running every program they can. When you do not see a program at your parish, it is most likely because there is no one willing to run it.

We have Mass on Thanksgiving. If a group of people wanted to then go out together or to each others home for a meal that would be nice! Maybe next year you can arrange something at your house

 

[ontheway1]

Very good point. It is you and I who have to make this world a better place.
My initial thought was that reaching out to the lonely would be a great way to evangelize. These types tend not to be too visible in the parishes, or exist on the periphery. A thanksgiving or Christmas dinner for them might be a great way to integrate them into the church community.