Chastity vs Virginity?

[Hawkeye916]

I am on a Facebook page with other Catholic women and the topic of purity rings came up. I never gave it much thought because I never really had a purity ring. It was just not something I was ever given. Some of the women on the chat had good experiences, while some had negative experiences. Some of them actually said that the whole idea of purity rings kinda gave them a warped sense of sexuality and in some ways hindered their attitude towards it. It was also mentioned that it might be more of a Protestant idea to give out purity rings, or make “pledges of purity.”

The discussion also brought up points that Chastity needed to be far more emphasized over physical virginity. At the pearly gates, will you be asked if you remained a virgin, or if you remained chaste? Not to mention that in marriage your title of “virgin” is lost, where as chastity should be pursued all throughout life, across vocations.

I guess I haven’t really asked much of a question, but those who have been raised with a “purity ring” or “purity pledge” and huge emphasis was placed on physical virginity rather than chastity, what was your experience? Or was it the opposite? Was there emphasis on both virginity and the virtue of chastity? And how did that affect your views?

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

I never gave it much thought because I never really had a purity ring. It was just not something I was ever given.

I don’t know what your background is, but “purity rings” aren’t a Catholic thing, which may explain why no one ever tried to give you one. As far as I know, they’re more associated with evangelical Protestants.

 

[JMMJ]

I have always found purity rings and pledges to have a major creepy factor to them. Especially when a dad involves himself to that level. Leads to distorted and dysfunctional views of sexuality for the girls involved, from what I have seen, especially once they mature.

 

[Lea101]

have always found purity rings and pledges to have a major creepy factor to them. Especially when a dad involves himself to that level

Oh my gosh yes, especially when they have a whole event surrounding that. Why pledge to your parents or any human, really?

Purity rings can be a good physical reminder if you need it, but i don’t agree with purity culture in general. It undermines the power of confession imo

Also, it can also backfire where the person hyperfixates on avoiding penetrative sex (trust me, I’ve seen this nonsense) where she would do anything “but it” in order to keep her virginity.

Jane The Virgin was a show that covered this, where a practising Catholic abstains from sex but ended up being accidentally artificially inseminated. Fun premise but it really portrayed the faith in such a weird and insulting way where Jane only avoids sex because she was fed the purity culture (once you lose it, you’re no longer pure) but she does everything else!

Chastity imo is more holistic and it’s based on actions rather than a state of being.

 

[Dolphin]

Non-virgins can practice chastity

 

[VanitasVanitatum]

We should practice chastity and self-control. Virginity is a nice thing, but it is so lost easily by most people that nothing more can be done in regards to that.

 

[dochawk]

Especially when a dad involves himself to that level.

Yeah, I’m oldschool on that.

Fathers should stick to giving boyfriends buckshot instead of rings to their daughters . . .



Yes, I have the “Dads against daughters dating: shoot the first one; word will spread!” tshirt. And it’s primarily women who find it hysterical.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Also, it can also backfire where the person hyperfixates on avoiding penetrative sex (trust me, I’ve seen this nonsense) where she would do anything “but it” in order to keep her virginity.

I’ve also met men who believed in brides being physical virgins, but will nevertheless want to do everything else that doesn’t affect the hymen with virgins, including virgins they just met.

MAJORLY creepy.

 

[Andrea_Canada]

What is a purity ring? This is the first I hear of it. And usualy how does someone get one?

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Girls, usually evangelical Protestant girls, get them in their early teens. They can buy them or more likely their parents will buy them one as a gift. They’re sold by jewelers and religious goods stores that cater to Evangelicals. They make a vow of sexual abstinence until marriage and wear the ring as a sign of the vow.

 

[Andrea_Canada]

really ! I must admit I find that strange. If they were it on their 4th finger on the left hand, wouldn’t that make peopel think they are married? How would they ever get asked out?

I wear a cross around my neck and can’t help but think that says it all

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I don’t know what finger they wear it on. Presumably they date young men who are familiar with “purity culture” so their dates understand the ring.

As someone said, this is not a Catholic tradition at all, and even for evangelicals it seems to have been invented only a few decades ago.

 

[runningdude]

Virginity, without chastity, is just a number:

The number 0.

 

[Anicette]

Purity rings and purity pledge are experiences that happens inside some conservative american evangelicals communities.

As you are asking on a Catholic forum, you will likely to have few to no answer to your question.
If you wants answers, ask among some evangelicals circles.

The dichotomy that you brings between virginity and chastity is the fruit of a Catholic perspective. The evangelicals circles don’t have the same deep, constant and define theology as us. Sexuality is by far less confine than us by rules. As a consequence, chastity for them would be define as being abstinent until marriage and after being faithfull to your spouse until a death or a divorce.

That’s why there is not a lot of reasons for them to emphasis the chastity. It is less counter cultural to be faithfull than virgin until marriage. For people who are still conservative with sexuality, their only option to fix rules for sexuality is to advocating and defending for each individual virginity until marriage.

They are protestants and have less traditions and religious rite of passage than us. So some creates rites such as these pledges and this rings as a material memory of this pledge.