Children's age for Baptism

[Kelfa28]

Recently my Fiance and I began bringing a friend and her daughter to Mass with us.
Our friend is a non-practicing but sacramented Catholic who has had a sudden desire to start attending Mass.

The problem is her Marriage is not sacramented and in order to have a Sacramental Marriage her Husband, my Fiance’s best friend, needs to get an annulment and attend RCIA. That is another matter entirely that both my Fiance and I have been working on helping them with and praying for.

The problem is neither has had their children Baptized at all. Her oldest is 4 and youngest just turned 1. She had enquired to a priest that she wanted to have the children baptized in the Catholic faith but was disappointed when a Priest she spoke with said she and her husband needed to get the annulment and have their Marriage validated within the Church. She didn’t want to “open a can of worms” with her husbands past Marriage.

My question is…is there an age limit with baptisms? I understand that infant baptism is the goal and anyone can be baptized, as long as they are educated within the Church. Is there an age of reason that can be reached where the Church simply won’t baptize until the person is ready?

I’m asking because in the best circumstances, my Fiance’s best friend talks to the priest tomorrow and gets the process going, their daughter will be pushing 6 years old.

I guess my other question is can she be baptized even without the parents having a sacramental Marriage?

 

[EasterJoy]

There is a degree of maturity at which the child’s consent is required before the child can be baptised, but there is not an age at which a child is deemed too old to be baptised as an infant and too young to be baptised as a person having reached the age of reason.

By the way, provided that baptism is being pursued in good faith, the person seeking baptism is covered by “the baptism of desire”. They can wait for the Church to deem they are suitably prepared without anxiety that they will die outside the grace of baptism. This is why catechumens who die prior to baptism are to be given funerals in the Church as if they had already been baptised.

 

[Kelfa28]

By the way, provided that baptism is being pursued in good faith, the person seeking baptism is covered by “the baptism of desire”. They can wait for the Church to deem they are suitably prepared without anxiety that they will die outside the grace of baptism. This is why catechumens who die prior to baptism are to be given funerals in the Church as if they had already been baptised.

Thats right, I forgot about Baptism of Desire.

Both of their children are wonderful. The eldest enjoys church and she can sit still for a good majority of it. She even sat through the entirety of the Homily but got restless during Communion. I think it was because we were all seated for that and she wanted to get up and go like the other children were.
She still earned her Hershey Kisses afterwards…

Still am hoping they can get her started in CCD and have her and her little brother receive their sacraments…as they should.

 

[monicatholic]

Until age 7 an infant baptism can be performed. From age 7 and beyond, RCIA is required. The child will then receive instruction and receive all sacraments of initiation at Easter vigil.

This does not depend on the marital status of the parents. Only that they do not object and they can assure the child will be raised in the faith with a full sacramental life.

 

[anp1215]

In the case of your friend returning to full Sacramental life with the Church, her marriage is something that needs to be dealt with.

In the case of getting her children baptized, I have never heard of a child being denied baptism because of the parent’s marital status. My goddaughter is the third child of unmarried parents, she and her siblings have not been denied baptism.

I would advise your friend to inquire about the baptism at another parish.

 

[Kelfa28]

Thank-you for all of your responses.

This has been a new development for us…we knew that the kids hadn’t been baptized but we didn’t know that our Friend had spoken to a priest about it and was told that, because of her Marriage…she couldn’t get the kids baptized.

We found this out after Mass. Next time we see our Priest we’re planning on asking his opinion on this situation.

 

[runningdude]

In the case of your friend returning to full Sacramental life with the Church, her marriage is something that needs to be dealt with.

In the case of getting her children baptized, I have never heard of a child being denied baptism because of the parent’s marital status. My goddaughter is the third child of unmarried parents, she and her siblings have not been denied baptism.
**
I would advise your friend to inquire about the baptism at another parish.**

I would not advise this. The Church’s biggest concern here is the children may grow up without a proper Catholic role model, and fail to meet their obligations as Catholics (such as attending weekly mass or marrying in the Catholic Church).

Without an annulment, their mother and father are potentially setting a poor example for the children about Catholic marriage. As they are currently unbaptized, the children are not yet obligated to have a Catholic wedding or even attend mass, so there is no need to rush their baptism until the parent’s marriage situation is sorted out. If the annulment is impossible, there is no undo burden on the children if they fail to observe Catholic norms regarding marriage in the future.

However, when the children reach at least age seven, they could enter the church on their own accord if they properly understand the Church’s rules. I’m sure the priest wouldn’t turn down the children if they personally asked for baptismal/RCIA classes.

My advise is to trust that the priest has the family’s best interests at heart and follow his advise. “Shopping” around for a priest can cause unnecessary confusion and hard feelings.

 

[Kelfa28]

For what it’s worth…we are fairly confident that an annulment is achievable in their circumstance.
Her husband was very young and he and his ex were rushed into a Marriage after only 2 months of dating.
Essentially his parents and the Church he and his ex attended all pushed for it.

My Fiance is more aware of the situation then I am and neither of us claim to know or assume any intimate details of the annulment process.

We are more concerned about convincing her husband to go through annulment process. He is shy and very reluctant to speak to a priest about anything. This is something we’ve decided to try to help him with.