Choice of Schools

[sainthumbert]

We enrolled our oldest daughter in preschool at a downtown area Catholic school. We registered at the parish that runs the school because we liked the old church building and the reverent worship style. We live in the suburbs and the downtown school is 11 miles on the highway which takes about 20 minutes (unless there is an accident just before school starts, then far longer). My wife brings my daughter to school. My wife packs our 4 kids (all under 4 years old) into the van to drop off my daughter at 8 a.m. and pick her up at 11 a.m. This has become more difficult with the newborn who sometimes cries for much of the trip.

Last year, the school combined the 7th and 8th grades for part of the year due to an ill teacher. There are about 15 kids in the largest class and about 8 in the smallest with the average about 10 or 12. My daughter excels in preschool while others in her class don’t do so well and cannot stay focused. The school directory shows many children with only one parent or parents with different last names. I heard a student talking ghetto during one of my visits at the school.

There is a suburban school that is about 8 minutes away from our house with no highway driving. This school is much more viable in terms of staying open. (The downtown school could close tomorrow for all I know). Of over 200 kids at this school, only a handful of kids have more than one sibling at the K-8 school. The parish requires that you be a parishioner in order to get the normal tuition rate, otherwise it is double. The church is a contemporary church; its hard to tell that it is even a church. The parish seems to be ordinary in the sense of a suburban church.

We live in one of the best public school districts in the area. We plan on sending our kids to public high school since I am not at all impressed with the Catholic high schools which I attended and the cost is just not possible given we have 4 kids and will likely have several more. Therefore, we do not want to move.

What should we do? I am concerned that the downtown school will close eventually, whether 5 years or 10 years. I am concerned about some of the urban students (or should I say the urban parents) at the downtown school. I am concerned about the long drive on the highway (both safety and inconvenience of hauling crying kids) to the downtown school. I am happy with the downtown parish. We don’t want to be parishioners at the suburban parish. I want my kids to be indoctrinated in the faith at school, surrounded by icons and other Catholic children. Therefore, the public school doesn’t seem right either.

 

[Irishmom2]

We enrolled our oldest daughter in preschool at a downtown area Catholic school. We registered at the parish that runs the school because we liked the old church building and the reverent worship style. We live in the suburbs and the downtown school is 11 miles on the highway which takes about 20 minutes (unless there is an accident just before school starts, then far longer). My wife brings my daughter to school. My wife packs our 4 kids (all under 4 years old) into the van to drop off my daughter at 8 a.m. and pick her up at 11 a.m. **This has become more difficult with the newborn who sometimes cries for much of the trip. **Last year, the school combined the 7th and 8th grades for part of the year due to an ill teacher. There are about 15 kids in the largest class and about 8 in the smallest with the average about 10 or 12. My daughter excels in preschool while others in her class don’t do so well and cannot stay focused. The school directory shows many children with only one parent or parents with different last names. I heard a student talking ghetto during one of my visits at the school.

**There is a suburban school that is about 8 minutes away from our house with no highway driving. This school is much more viable in terms of staying open. ** (The downtown school could close tomorrow for all I know). Of over 200 kids at this school, only a handful of kids have more than one sibling at the K-8 school. The parish requires that you be a parishioner in order to get the normal tuition rate, otherwise it is double. The church is a contemporary church; its hard to tell that it is even a church. **The parish seems to be ordinary in the sense of a suburban church.**We live in one of the best public school districts in the area. We plan on sending our kids to public high school since I am not at all impressed with the Catholic high schools which I attended and the cost is just not possible given we have 4 kids and will likely have several more. Therefore, we do not want to move.
What should we do? I am concerned that the downtown school will close eventually, whether 5 years or 10 years. I am concerned about some of the urban students (or should I say the urban parents) at the downtown school. I am concerned about the long drive on the highway (both safety and inconvenience of hauling crying kids) to the downtown school. I am happy with the downtown parish. ** We don’t want to be parishioners at the suburban parish. ** I want my kids to be indoctrinated in the faith at school, surrounded by icons and other Catholic children. Therefore, the public school doesn’t seem right either.

It sounds like the suburban school would be a good school to you if it weren’t for the parish it is connected to. It is close, it appears it will stay open, you like the the students there etc. I am sorry you don’t like the parish. Perhaps it will grow on you, perhaps not. You might just need to make that sacrifice and put up with that parish for the most part. You can always go to the other downtown parish once in a while.

 

[ndeparis88]

We enrolled our oldest daughter in preschool at a downtown area Catholic school. We registered at the parish that runs the school because we liked the old church building and the reverent worship style. We live in the suburbs and the downtown school is 11 miles on the highway which takes about 20 minutes (unless there is an accident just before school starts, then far longer). My wife brings my daughter to school. My wife packs our 4 kids (all under 4 years old) into the van to drop off my daughter at 8 a.m. and pick her up at 11 a.m. This has become more difficult with the newborn who sometimes cries for much of the trip.

Last year, the school combined the 7th and 8th grades for part of the year due to an ill teacher. There are about 15 kids in the largest class and about 8 in the smallest with the average about 10 or 12. My daughter excels in preschool while others in her class don’t do so well and cannot stay focused. The school directory shows many children with only one parent or parents with different last names. I heard a student talking ghetto during one of my visits at the school.

There is a suburban school that is about 8 minutes away from our house with no highway driving. This school is much more viable in terms of staying open. (The downtown school could close tomorrow for all I know). Of over 200 kids at this school, only a handful of kids have more than one sibling at the K-8 school. The parish requires that you be a parishioner in order to get the normal tuition rate, otherwise it is double. The church is a contemporary church; its hard to tell that it is even a church. The parish seems to be ordinary in the sense of a suburban church.

We live in one of the best public school districts in the area. We plan on sending our kids to public high school since I am not at all impressed with the Catholic high schools which I attended and the cost is just not possible given we have 4 kids and will likely have several more. Therefore, we do not want to move.

What should we do? I am concerned that the downtown school will close eventually, whether 5 years or 10 years. I am concerned about some of the urban students (or should I say the urban parents) at the downtown school. I am concerned about the long drive on the highway (both safety and inconvenience of hauling crying kids) to the downtown school. I am happy with the downtown parish. We don’t want to be parishioners at the suburban parish. I want my kids to be indoctrinated in the faith at school, surrounded by icons and other Catholic children. Therefore, the public school doesn’t seem right either.

Does the Catholic school you were looking into have like a tuition discount if you send more than one of your kids there. I know the Catholic school I went to in my town from 1st to 8th grade has this thing where if you sent more than one of your kids there they would give you a lower tuition

 

[robwar]

first of all, with four kids under 4 years, I wouldn’t worry about what is happening at the junior high level with the urban school, you are not at that level yet. It sound like you have your oldest only in pre-school/kindergarden. Driving to the Urban school for a half day of school is going to be draining and with four kids at young ages your wife is going to be driving this half day stuff for quite a while. You are correct about being concern about the viability of the school if enrollment is dropping. Also i wouldn’t worry about JV or HS yet, again you are not at that level. It does come but the first concern is that you will have small children and dealing with half day preschool and kindergarden, it would be less wear and tear on all of you if you check out and look at the closer Catholic school for the younger grades. that would be my suggestion. There isn’t much that happens at the young grades in religion and if the urban school is viable, you can always switch.

 

[Dark_Shadows]

Remember that the parents have the first responsibility for bringing their children up in the faith. Do not slide down the slippery slope of expecting a catholic school to “indoctrinate” your children into the faith. The school is only for support and generally teaches a general overview of the faith.

I have been in your shoes with the expense of catholic school, the travel time, work schedules etc. I learned through it all that you must stay firm in your faith. If you feel the other parish is too contempory, lacking icons, statues, and the feel you expect, I would avoid it. I look at it as compromising your principals, and faith, to attend that parish and send your child to the other school, just to ease financial and travel burdens.

We ended up sending our children to public schools because we just could not afford it. At the same time, we stepped up teaching catechism to our children, attending church liturgies, functions, and activities more frequently. Take hold of your God-given parental right- and duty.

We always live our faith and talk about our faith with our kids. We spend many a night discussing what went on in the public schools that day and explaing the truth of each situation through the lense of sound catholic teaching.

You will realize that any catholic school will always have a diverse student, and parentbody that individual members may not always follow church teaching, and can negatively influence your child without you realizing it. I figured that at least at public schools, we knew who our adversaries were,(the whole system) and developed a strategy to mitigate its influence.

 

[jeannetherese]

It sounds as though you have found the parish that you think will best support your family in their continuing faith formation.
Have you considered homeschooling for awhile? The Catholic homeschooling movement is very strong. You may be surprised to discover that there are families in your area that homeschool, networking and, creating group learning and socialization opportunities and providing support for parents.
You can still be active in parish social groups, CCD, and Catholic Youth Organization sports, and the public schools will also allow you to send your children in for classes (band, math, English,) -whatever you and your wife and fellow homeschoolers prefer for your children.

 

[Cat]

I’m a 55 year-old woman who raised two daughters, and I’ve worked with thousands of children over the years in various music and theater programs (secular and faith-based) in my community.

I seriously question the need for pre-school.

I recommend doing some serious re-consideration of whether or not pre-school is necessary. IMO, parents should try to minimize stress and confusion in their family. Stress makes it so hard for children to grow and mature at a normal pace; some children actually regress when there is stress. Also, stress makes it hard for the parents to be well-rested and have sufficient energy.

Is there a reason why the little girl cannot simply stay home and be a little girl?

When my children were this age, I spent a lot of time reading to them and helping them learn to read (both daughters knew how to read before they started school). We learned the numbers and did measuring games. I also did a lot music (this is great for developing areas of the brain that are used in doing math)–nothing fancy, just singing nursery rhymes and Christian songs together. We did arts and crafts, nature walks (LOTS of nature walks!–these made the girls and their friends tired, and that meant that they slept better!). We did a lot of “field trips,” visiting local businesses, museums, artists, etc.–I always arranged these in advance so that someone would be available to talk to my children. I took them to plays (age-appropriate) and concerts. They learned how to do things like tie their shoes, open the door for others, say Please and Thank You (this should be learned from birth, and even a toddler should be able to say these “magic words”), and other practical life skills.

And of course, we did figure skating and ballet!

And of course, I taught them about God.

I often did day-care for other children, so generally speaking, there was a crowd of children in our house (just like the OPs house ), but all of this “schooling” still worked.

Why take on this stress? Let the child stay home at least one more year.

One more thing–is kindergarten required in your state? If not, consider keeping the children home from kindergarten, too. Just make sure that before you place the children in a school, that your children are on track and approximately at the same “learning level” as the other children in that school. Most schools administer tests to assess a child’s skills.

 

[robwar]

Hi Cat,
you have alot in your post, I am thinking of starting a thread over the importance of preschool/ kindergarden attendance because while I understand your points, I my experience with my 3 children and looking carefully at school cirrculum and the fact that now in kindergarden, children are expected to come out reading and doing basic math.
This is a shift since you and I were in K which in that time, as more like a socialized playroom and at half days. With the shift in what children are expected to beable to do, skipping K or even preschool would not be in the best choice or advise. There would be too much of a learning curve and catch up if K is missed and the child jumps right into 1st.
K is now the new 1st grade and most schools K is all day, not half day anymore. But I will leave it at that since the OP was asking more about distance than K/preschool attendance.
peace.