Choking Fear of Death

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sonofbarry

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I’m sure it’s not an unusual phenomenon, but I’ve recently found myself pondering death and the real implications of it. By the way, I’m approaching 50 and (quite honestly) a lapsed Catholic.

I’m terrified of death. I sit at my desk at work sometimes, almost frozen in fear of not living anymore, and the powerlessness to do anything about it. I’m starting to have dreams of death and the nothingness that would certainly result.

To me, it would be the end of everything. All that I had seen, heard and thought would vanish. This is the really terrible part – the loss of the conscious self. I can handle the loss of the physical, but not the intellectual, the mind, the ability to think and to basically know things.

And I’m clearly approaching this from a non-religious point of view. As you can see, there are also elements of solipsism in my thinking (a theory that I find hard to discard, even though it is a bleak, lonely philosophy). After all, if I only experience the world through my senses and reason, the world (the one that I have created) must end when I shut down.

Someone on a help-site said: “Think of it like this. You have already been dead (i.e. in a state of nothingness) for the 14 billion years of time – virtually forever, in our minds. You will live for just a few years and then you will be dead again forever. It’s nothing unusual and you can’t expect anything else.” (paraphrased).

Once again, non-religious.

And then I call myself a whining coward when I think of all the tens of billions of people who have died courageously or with great faith in this or that God, or just grateful for their brief lives. Then I think of the millions and millions of people who died in the womb or at birth, victims of abortion, and so on – people who never even got to see one day.

Should we all just accept it and move on? Is there an easier path to accepting this kind of thing – of conquering the fear?
 
Hi, for those who believe they come from nothing and go to nothing, well, as they would be experiencing nothing there would be no suffering, so why ruin the time of awareness by dwelling on the time when their consciousness will no longer exist? Seize the day, live in the moment. That’s the only logical way for unbelievers to live. In this life we only have moment to moment. Why betray that?

For those who believe in God, why make themselves unhappy or ill by dwelling upon death?
It is the gateway for each of us.
Live in the present moment of gift, the gift of God’s life and of His promise through the redemptive act of Jesus? Trust in God’s mercy, and live according to Hios command to love God above all (including eucharistic worship and participation) and love others as ourselves (with prayer, respect, and practical kindness.)
To do otherwise is also a waste of our time, and illogical.
Please, for your own peace of mind, use the thought of death as a springboard to growth and hope, but not as a place to dwell and mourn. Live!

God bless you now and always.
 
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You’ve implied the answer yourself. Return to the Catholic Church and its sacraments. Jesus said not to fear bodily death and he paved the way for us. “Perfect love casts out fear.” The closer you come to God, the less you fear death. The saints positively welcomed it, when it came in God’s time. St. Francis called it “little sister death.” Death is simply going to the God we love, and we look for his coming every day.
I would take this fear of death you are having as God’s prompting for you to return to the Church. Also, keep in mind that if you fear choking, St. Blaise’s feast day in February each year has a blessing of the throats. I never miss it.
 
sonofbarry said:
I’m sure it’s not an unusual phenomenon, but I’ve recently found myself pondering death and the real implications of it. By the way, I’m approaching 50 and (quite honestly) a lapsed Catholic.

I’m terrified of death. I sit at my desk at work sometimes, almost frozen in fear of not living anymore, and the powerlessness to do anything about it. I’m starting to have dreams of death and the nothingness that would certainly result.

To me, it would be the end of everything. All that I had seen, heard and thought would vanish. This is the really terrible part – the loss of the conscious self. I can handle the loss of the physical, but not the intellectual, the mind, the ability to think and to basically know things.

And I’m clearly approaching this from a non-religious point of view. As you can see, there are also elements of solipsism in my thinking (a theory that I find hard to discard, even though it is a bleak, lonely philosophy). After all, if I only experience the world through my senses and reason, the world (the one that I have created) must end when I shut down.

Someone on a help-site said: “Think of it like this. You have already been dead (i.e. in a state of nothingness) for the 14 billion years of time – virtually forever, in our minds. You will live for just a few years and then you will be dead again forever. It’s nothing unusual and you can’t expect anything else.” (paraphrased).

Once again, non-religious.

And then I call myself a whining coward when I think of all the tens of billions of people who have died courageously or with great faith in this or that God, or just grateful for their brief lives. Then I think of the millions and millions of people who died in the womb or at birth, victims of abortion, and so on – people who never even got to see one day.

Should we all just accept it and move on? Is there an easier path to accepting this kind of thing – of conquering the fear?
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There is no easy path.
There is a real path, but it’s not easy. “The way is narrow…”
Embrace the struggle. Look for the answer. “He who seeks will find”.

It all sounds very pithy doesn’t it? But it’s not pithy, it’s adherence to Christ, who has gone down through death and given it meaning and purpose. Christ redeems death. In Christ, we can have peace even while we are afraid of death.
 
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Well, even if it were true (it is not), it would be end of suffering.
However, your fears of nothingness is not what occurs.

After death is the Judgement. You should not fear death, but you should fear a bad one! Live with virtue, lead a good life, so that you may have a good death.
 
Kei said:
After death is the Judgement. You should not fear death, but you should fear a bad one! Live with virtue, lead a good life, so that you may have a good death.
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Look man, if you died and found yourself in a black tunnel, with a light at the end, and could hear voices beckoning you, are you telling me you would not poo your pants (perhaps in that context you wouldn’t have pants or a bum to go in them, but you know what i mean)?

I think death is a scary thing regardless of what happens. It’s fear of the unknown.
 
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No, I think I’d be ecstatic.

Why fear the unknown? And how is death unknown? It is not as if we can easily avoid it.
 
Have you ever prayed the Divine Office, specifically Night Prayers?

Each night we, Christians around the world and across the centuries, pray this beautiful cycle of prayers. Every night we pray “may the Lord grant us a restful night and a peaceful death”.

For the Christian who dies in friendship with God, physical death is the beginning of the fullness of life. When we will be more aware, more alive, we will know more and have the capacity to learn so much more than we can in this life.

We can rejoice and say “death where is your victory and grave where is your sting?”

Try praying Night Prayers.
 
sonofbarry said:
Should we all just accept it and move on?
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There isn’t jack s#it you can do about it, so yeah.

What you need to focus on is “carpe diem”.

I think Hemingway wrote in “The Sun Also Rises” that it might be possible for a man to live as much life in one night as some men do 70 years.

Try to be that guy everyday.
 
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I, too, am a lapsed Catholic pushing 50…I don’t really have this fear of my own non-existence anymore, but that of the few people closest to me. I experience that sort of fear when I think of life without them, the end of our time together. They’ll take parts of me away that won’t ever exist again and I hate to think about it.

I did used to have that crippling fear of my own demise many years ago, before I came to the Church, and the only thing that got me past it was actively training my brain to avoid those thoughts, because yeah, we’re all gonna die and dwelling on it is pointless. I learned to bat the unwanted thoughts away and replace them with something else the second they came creeping in. After awhile it became reflex and helped.

I remember reading something similar to your quote about having already been dead for billions of years etc. when I was having my worst doubts and it just irritated me. There’s zero comfort in it but it sounds like there should be, I guess.

I’ve since fallen away from the Church but still wish to find my way back to faith somehow.

Anyway, I read this and it spoke to me so I felt like commiserating.
 
sonofbarry said:
and (quite honestly) a lapsed Catholic.
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I wonder if Jesus is trying to get you to become a strong catholic. If someone is not in grave sin, then there is nothing to worry about. After death you get eternity of happiness! I would advise you make an act of perfect contrtition for your sins and go to confession. Stay a strong catholic. You will have nothing to fear from death then.
 
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MCH1 said:
I wonder if Jesus is trying to get you to become a strong catholic. If someone is not in grave sin, then there is nothing to worry about. After death you get eternity of happiness! I would advise you make an act of perfect contrtition for your sins and go to confession. Stay a strong catholic. You will have nothing to fear from death then.
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…
 
We might ask ourselves. Would a loving God allow His beloved to merely vanish like fog in the morning sun? Or, having died for them, Redeemed them, adopted them as children, would He not rather them abide with Him forever?
 
I always think of a quote by Mark Twain:

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”
 
This is so theologically incorrect.

While the Mormons teach that souls wait about in heaven to be born into bodies, Christianity teaches that our souls are created from nothing at some point after conception (the Church has never ruled at what point between conception and birth ensoulment takes place).

We were not dead for billions of years before birth. We did not exist before birth.

Once our soul is created, it will never die.
 
Hello Thelittlelady.

Imagine that i am a paranormal investigator, and i have invented a machine that will induce the death of my body for 5 minutes and then bring me back so that i can investigate firsthand an NDE; near death experience… Would it be a sin against God if i start doing tests on myself?

I want to start doing tests right away.😀
 
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If your machine brings death you will not have a “near death experience” but, a “death”. God decides when we die, so, I’ll imagine you will have some trouble securing a patent for your machine.
 
I’m not worried about death itself because it takes but a few minutes. Besides, my family will have to pick up the tab and deal with my body.

But I am worried about declining in health and not having enough help around. I’m a high maintenance person who likes things all done correctly. For instance, if I need a bit of cool air, I open the window right away. Now, a lot of people can suffer through heat but I can’t. It will be difficult to get enough help to run my life if I decline.

Confessing your sins really isn’t so bad, and as long as you keep the overall count of sins low, and the mortal sins down to zero, chances are good you will get into heaven.
 
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