Choosing the right OB - help, please

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surfinpure

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My first child’s delivery went terribly wrong, and my family and I have always believed that this was due to some bad decisions, lack of attention, and insensitivity to my concerns on the part of the on-call OBGYN who delivered her.

Now I am nearly five months pregnant with Number Two, a son, and I am beginning to feel uneasy about the doctor, no less the entire practice, that I am currently seeing. I feel like the baby and I deserve better attention and a more proactive approach than we’re receiving.

I would like to find a better doctor and a better hospital for the delivery, even if it means driving 30-45 minutes up the freeway. The problem is, I am very uncertain as to how to go about doing this. My questions to all of you who’ve had experience in this area are:

How do you find the best doctor in the area? How do you find the best hospital? Whom can you call for a straight answer (and not just PR) about these things?

Please advise.

Thank you,
Mary
 
Hi Mary,
First let me say how sorry I am that your first birth wasn’t what you wanted. Secondly, start by asking friends.Then you can call hospitals in the area. Call the main number and ask for the Birthing Center, or OB department.Talk to the staff there.I work in an in -hospital birth center and we get calls all the time. Check the phone books and call OB groups. Also, see if there are midwives in the area. They are wonderfull! You can probably check online, although I am not sure exactly how. There are resources. You just may have to do a lot of leg work.
Good luck with your search!
~ Kathy ~
 
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Katie1723:
Hi Mary,
First let me say how sorry I am that your first birth wasn’t what you wanted. Secondly, start by asking friends.Then you can call hospitals in the area. Call the main number and ask for the Birthing Center, or OB department.Talk to the staff there.I work in an in -hospital birth center and we get calls all the time. Check the phone books and call OB groups. Also, see if there are midwives in the area. They are wonderfull! You can probably check online, although I am not sure exactly how. There are resources. You just may have to do a lot of leg work.
Good luck with your search!
~ Kathy ~
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Thanks Kathy. I wonder … will insurance cover a midwife?
 
I too am so sorry about your first birth…okay, do you think your apprehension could be from your first experience? Also, what made you choose the current OB that you have?

Anyway, I would definitely get on the phone and call every woman that I know right now. Most women can give you personal information as well as what “friends” have told them about certain OBs. My personal experience…find a woman who has children of her own. I have had the most pleasant experience with my OB…she is with a “group”, but they make every effort to deliver their own patients. She has carried me through 2 births, 2 miscarriages and another birthing experience coming soon. Women rule! Just my opinion.

I’m not sure about midwifes…I believe insurance will pay prenatal care, but not the delivery. However, I have heard (in my area) deliveries are only a fraction of hosptial cost… and alot of midwifes work directly with doctors in case of emergency.

Again, if you want to change OBs, just personal opinion here…find a woman!
 
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DJgang:
I too am so sorry about your first birth…okay, do you think your apprehension could be from your first experience? Also, what made you choose the current OB that you have?
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Yes, my apprehension is most certainly from the first experience. The baby could not move down the birth canal (we’re still not sure why), her heart rate was decelerating, and the doctor told me not to be “impatient.” He refused to give me a C-section, and during the two hours after that she lost oxygen and circulation, and now has brain damage.

My current OB is in the same practice as the guy who delivered my daughter. I wouldn’t have even delivered with this practice before if we hadn’t had to move here when I was 38 weeks pregnant. Before that, I had a doctor who gave much more attention to the pregnancy.

I chose this doctor because 1)she’s local, 2) she is in high demand, 3) I’ve heard others say good things about her. However, she and the staff don’t seem to be paying much attention to things like when I will get my Rhogam shot (I’m RH negative), how much weight I’m gaining, what my iron count is, what my exercise and diet are. These are all things I’m used to having monitored closely by the physician.
Anyway, I would definitely get on the phone and call every woman that I know right now. Most women can give you personal information as well as what “friends” have told them about certain OBs. My personal experience…find a woman who has children of her own. I have had the most pleasant experience with my OB…she is with a “group”, but they make every effort to deliver their own patients. She has carried me through 2 births, 2 miscarriages and another birthing experience coming soon. Women rule! Just my opinion.
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I think this is very good advice. And women do seem to make better OBs in general.
I’m not sure about midwifes…I believe insurance will pay prenatal care, but not the delivery. However, I have heard (in my area) deliveries are only a fraction of hosptial cost… and alot of midwifes work directly with doctors in case of emergency.
Click to expand...
This is something I’ll have to check out. I have pretty lousy insurance, and I’ve already paid a pretty large chunk to the current practice because I believed I would be delivering there. Still, I want to do what’s right for the baby, regardless. We just may be getting into a little more debt than we thought we were.

Again, if you want to change OBs, just personal opinion here…find a woman!
 
surf(name removed by moderator)ure:
Yes, my apprehension is most certainly from the first experience. The baby could not move down the birth canal (we’re still not sure why), her heart rate was decelerating, and the doctor told me not to be “impatient.” He refused to give me a C-section, and during the two hours after that she lost oxygen and circulation, and now has brain damage.
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Oh dear, so sorry! Have you and your current OB discussed C section? I’m just curious? Since you did have problems before concerning the birth canal, they could very well happen again.

No wonder you are scared. Just maybe voice all your concerns with you OB, which is a woman…yeah! and let her know exactly what you are feeling…you then will be able to make a better judgement, go with you instincts…us women have good instincts.
 
I can certainly see why you are having second thoughts about this practitioner.

My mom was an OB nurse for many years, and delivered many babies, so when it came time for me to start seeing a doc, she asked family friends and relatives who they recommended.

I had a male doctor, and wouldn’t have had anyone else deliver my baby. I was pre-ecclamptic and had a troubled pregnancy. We all trusted him completely.

My mom was there for the whole labor, and she couldn’t praise him enough. To this day she talks about how caring and sensitive he was to the whole experience. One of my mom’s guages for the ability of a doctor is his treatment of the episiotomy. Without too much graphic detail, she gives LARGE KUDOS to those docs who perform what she calls the “Love Stitch”, which he apparently does. :o

I will pray you find the doc that is best suited for your situation. I agree with the rest of the ladies here who recommend visiting the birthing centers, getting references from friends and relatives and speaking with the docs personally.

Good luck to you!
 
Ask some of your friends who they go to.

Consider a midwife if there are any in your area. I switched from a doc to a midwife when I was 7 mos along with our first. Midwives are wonderful for low risk pregnancies. I had midwives for all 3 kids. They give your their full attention at each check up and while you’re in labor. I was lucky that our insurance covered midwife care.
—KCT
 
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DJgang:
Oh dear, so sorry! Have you and your current OB discussed C section? I’m just curious? Since you did have problems before concerning the birth canal, they could very well happen again.

No wonder you are scared. Just maybe voice all your concerns with you OB, which is a woman…yeah! and let her know exactly what you are feeling…you then will be able to make a better judgement, go with you instincts…us women have good instincts.
Click to expand...
A C-section is the plan this time around, although there remains a chance that it’s not entirely necessary. My daughter’s umbilical cord was wrapped several times around her neck, so there is a possibility that she had trouble coming out, not because of narrow bone structure, but because the cord was tethered. We will examine my bone structure later on in the pregnancy.

I’ve told my doctor many of my concerns, but new ones are just now developing. I will bring it up during our next visit, if I can find a nice way to say, “You guys don’t seem to be paying attention.”

You’re right about the instinct thing. I think maybe that’s the biggest reason I should check out a new doctor and hospital. I don’t feel good about this.
 
I think you should pray, then arm yourself with as much education as you can and make a list of questions for the health care professionals you choose to see. So many clients are uncomfortable asking the questions that really matter to them. For instance, if you would prefer no episiotomy, begin by asking what percentage of the provider’s clients receive one. If the answer is higher than you are comfortable with, you can move to the next candidate on the list. Childbirth comes with surprises at every turn, so if you can find someone you feel confident will listen to you and then accommodate your desires, you should have a better experience.

I also recommend a midwife. My birth experience with the midwives was the best birthing experience I had.

I have had two friends realize some months into their pregnancy that the health care providers they had chosen weren’t interested in accommodating their desires and simply expected them to behave like good little patients and accept “doctor’s orders” without question. Both found acceptable health care providers, but it was a stressful process. One mother asked not to be offered any analgesia and the doctor told her that she couldn’t possibly give birth without drugs. She found another health care provider and did just that.

Many busy practitioners get into a “routine” and don’t like to deviate from it. Many times it includes the laboring mother receiving the same treatment and procedures as all the other patients the practitioner sees. This may be acceptable to some but not to others. It is important to find the right fit. So: ask the questions and listen to the answers. It’s your birth-day, too!

Oh, and then pray!
 
If you want to look at it this way . . . you’re the consumer shopping for the best product. Who are you going to give your money to? Some docs need to know they can’t treat you anyway they want and still have you pay them for it. I wouldn’t tolerate an unkind dentist, repairman, or a host of other professionals - why put up with it in a doctor? —KCT
 
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KCT:
If you want to look at it this way . . . you’re the consumer shopping for the best product. Who are you going to give your money to? Some docs need to know they can’t treat you anyway they want and still have you pay them for it. I wouldn’t tolerate an unkind dentist, repairman, or a host of other professionals - why put up with it in a doctor? —KCT
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Exactly! That’s why I personally feel that in my area doctors are becoming more “friendly”, if you know what I mean!
 
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Katie1723:
Hi Mary,
First let me say how sorry I am that your first birth wasn’t what you wanted. Secondly, start by asking friends.Then you can call hospitals in the area. Call the main number and ask for the Birthing Center, or OB department.Talk to the staff there.I work in an in -hospital birth center and we get calls all the time. Check the phone books and call OB groups. Also, see if there are midwives in the area. They are wonderfull! You can probably check online, although I am not sure exactly how. There are resources. You just may have to do a lot of leg work.
Good luck with your search!
~ Kathy ~
Click to expand...
I didn’t have a midwife, but I think this is good advice for what you’re looking for.

Also, if you have an at-risk pregnancy, you might ask memebers of the local mothers-of-multiples club. They all had at-risk pregnancies, by definition.

When you leave your current doctor, consider writing a letter to the entire practice, detailing the problems you have had. Your experiences may be symptomatic of problems that some of the docs in the practice may be trying to address. Your letter may help them to make the needed changes.
 
…i can remember my mother recommending to my wife to visit the hospital where your children will most likely be born… go to the floor where the babies are delivered and speak with the nurses… ask them who delivers their babies… they work with all the Dr’s that are allowed to deliver at that hospital, who better to be in the know about who is the best, or most importantly the person they want delivering theirs… just a thought from a guy who thinks husbands should stay in the waiting room…

Peace:thumbsup:

http://img.shopping.com/images1/di/61/65/54/33/71/6e7a5056497176746b68394b66424f6367-100x100.jpg
 
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KCT:
If you want to look at it this way . . . you’re the consumer shopping for the best product. Who are you going to give your money to? Some docs need to know they can’t treat you anyway they want and still have you pay them for it. I wouldn’t tolerate an unkind dentist, repairman, or a host of other professionals - why put up with it in a doctor? —KCT
Click to expand...
This is what I have always said. You pay the doctor. They work for you, however, there has to be a certain level of trust, so if there is no trust, you need to go somewhere else.
Something else to look for, and I haven’t seen it mentioned so far, but make sure the doctor has admitting priviledges to a hospital with a good Intensive Care Nursery with Neonatalogists.
 
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