I read a very helpful book on this topic several years ago, but I can’t remember the name of it now! If I find it, I’ll post it. Until a few years ago, we spent every Christmas of our married life with my husband’s family. They are wonderful people, but their total focus is on outdoing each other with gifts, decorating, etc. Once, they even tried to talk us out of attending Christmas Mass so that we could get right to the opening of gifts! We decided to take more control of our celebration a few years ago. We decided to prepare them months in advance by sending a letter to everyone explaining our feelings and reasons behind certain changes we wanted to make. We included a copy of an article pertaining to the subject. We let them know that we needed more emphasis on the spiritual side of Christmas. We put a limit on the number of gifts given to our children: 1 per child from each family (very large extended family!). We told them if they wanted to buy more, to give the gifts to needy families. We brought about a gift exchange for the grown siblings and cousins: draw a name and put a limit on the amount spent for that gift. At home, we made sure that we put at least as much emphasis on Advent as we did on Christmas. We try to involve our children in charitable works, spiritual reading, etc. and to emphasize the true meaning of Christmas. Those changes have really made a difference in our family. Good luck!