Christ's Discipleship

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Dear Apologist,

I have encountered a very tough question by my Atheist friend, he quoted this and asked me to explain. If God loves us, why did Jesus told us to hate everyone even our own lives?

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26 NIV)

Can anyone help me please? I’m looking for a gentle answer

thank you
 
Dear Apologist,

I have encountered a very tough question by my Atheist friend, he quoted this and asked me to explain. If God loves us, why did Jesus told us to hate everyone even our own lives?

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26 NIV)

Can anyone help me please? I’m looking for a gentle answer

thank you
The law of Christ does not allow us to hate even our enemies, much less our parents: but the meaning of the text is, that we must be in that disposition of soul so as to be willing to renounce and part with every thing, how near or dear soever it may be to us, that would keep us from following Christ.

The word hate is not to be taken in its proper sense, but to be expounded by the words of Christ, (Matthew x. 37.) that no man must love his father more than God, Christ wishes to show us what dispositions are necessary in him who desires to become his disciple; (Theophylactus) and to teach us that we must not be discouraged, if we meet with many hardships and labours in our journey to our heavenly country. (St. Gregory) — And if for our sakes, Christ even renounced his own mother, saying, Who is my mother, and who are my brethren? why do you wish to be treated more delicately than your Lord? (St. Ambrose) — He wished also to demonstrate to us, that the hatred he here inculcates, is not to proceed from any disaffection towards our parents, but from charity for ourselves; for immediately he adds, and his own life also. From which words it is evident, that in our love we must hate our brethren as we do ourselves.

haydock1859.tripod.com/id78.html
 
Pure Discipleship

With this very short subunit in the journey section, Jesus’ attention turns almost totally to his disciples. The leadership has been warned and rebuked. But what does following Jesus really require? The previous parable had hinted that other issues became higher priorities for the original invitees to God’s kingdom. This single unit will make it clear that disciples should count the cost of following Jesus, because success will not come easily.

This passage is unique to Luke, though verses 26-27 are like Matthew 10:37-38 and verses 34-35 are similar to Matthew 5:13 and Mark 9:49-50. It is extremely significant that this passage is addressed to large crowds. Jesus offered himself to all, but he also was honest from the very beginning of his preaching about what the journey would involve. What Jesus asks for is first place in one’s heart. That is what successful discipleship requires.

So Jesus calls for a follower who will hate his mother and father, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters–yes, even his own life. The point of the list is that no other relationship is first for a disciple. “Hate” is used figuratively and suggests a priority of relationship. Jesus is first. To follow Jesus means to follow Jesus, not anyone or anything else. A disciple is a learner, and the primary teacher in life is Jesus. This total loyalty is crucial, given the rejection and persecution that lie ahead. If his followers care more about family than about Jesus, when families are divided under pressure of persecution, they will choose against Jesus. This is what lies behind Jesus’ remarks. Discipleship is not possible if Jesus is not the teacher.

This is why bearing the cross and coming after Jesus is the issue of discipleship. Learning from Jesus means following him, experiencing the rejection he experienced and so bearing the cross he bore. We cannot “learn Jesus” without being prepared to walk this path. Discipleship is basically allegiance. To follow Jesus is to rely on him. Paul makes the same point in different imagery in Romans 6.

Two pictures illustrate the teaching, though each has a slightly different point. The first picture involves the building of what is probably a watchtower for a vineyard. To be a success, this building program must be planned out carefully; otherwise the builder may well start the project but not finish it. Failure to finish would make the builder a laughingstock to neighbors, as his half-finished shell of a tower casts its incomplete shadow over the land. So Jesus asks what person does not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it. How sad it is to start something and not finish it. The failure is evident to all. Verse 30 expresses the public response in very mocking terms, as all around belittle “this fellow.” The shell of the building echoes the shell that remains of this man’s reputation. The implication is that embarking on discipleship is just the same: we do well to reflect on what it will take to finish what we have started.

The second picture is of a king who finds his forces outnumbered as he considers going to battle. After calculating the cost in terms of destruction, he decides that appealing for peace is a better idea. The king reflects, then acts.

Many readers take this to be a second example of taking stock, just like the first illustration. But there may be something more here. In the case of building the tower, all the options lay with the builder. In the case of potential war, the situation is forced on the king. Only a foolish king would try to take on a stronger foe when he is outnumbered two to one. So it is prudent to seek peace with the stronger foe. There is a “more powerful one” than Satan to deal with in life: God. It is wise to count the cost of facing him. There are benefits in allying ourselves with God rather than having him as the decidedly stronger enemy.

The application Jesus states without apology: “In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.” Jesus must be first. Those who are disposed to oppose God’s will should count the cost. Much better sue for peace with God on his terms. His terms for peace are gracious, but disciples must acknowledge that he is the source of life and spiritual well-being.

A final warning closes the exhortation. Salt is good as long as it is salty. If not, it is thrown away. Now salt in the ancient world was used in several ways: as a catalyst for a fire, as seasoning, as a preservative and as fertilizer. In each case the presence of salt facilitated some function. But once salt ceases to perform its role, it is good for nothing. Similarly, the disciple who loses “saltiness” can become useless to God. There are a couple of possible ways to interpret thrown out here. It could refer to being rejected for never having been genuine to begin with, like the “odd man out” in many of Jesus’ parables (12:46; 19:21-26; Mt 25:20), or it could warn of the physical judgment that comes on those who displease God (1 Cor 11:30). Jesus’ remark is ambiguous and may be purposely so to allow for both possibilities. Clearly, however, the warning should be heeded, since Jesus closes his remarks with “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”

Discipleship is serious business to Jesus. To be a disciple and complete the task, we must count the cost. It is a good idea to sue for peace and come to terms with God. But that means we must humbly come to him on his terms. Successful discipleship requires that God be first.

biblegateway.com/resources/commentaries/IVP-NT/Luke/Pure-Discipleship
 
If Jesus said that to be part of his movement, people must “hate” their family, I speculate that he said it with a smile and a wink. After all, many of the people who came to Jesus were already marginalized and probably separated from normal family life - the chronically sick, the mentally ill (there were no mental institutions in those times), the “questionable” (tax collectors, prostitutes), etc.

Therefore, in a very real sense, the Jesus movement offered to oppressed people, and consisted of, a new kind of family.

Chances are that many who joined Jesus’ new family and traveled in the open air with him already “hated”, and were “hated” by, their families. Therefore we might imagine Jesus shaking his head and noting with a wry smile, “It does indeed seem that people who end up in my family must hate their own families at least to some extent.” Maybe we could take Jesus’ words as hinting at an actual social situation - dysfunctional families and their disaffected members who joined up with Jesus - rather than a “command” to “hate” families. as a wistful observation rather than “hard” teaching …?

Another important point: When Jesus spoke of the family, he was necessarily talking about the ancient Semitic, patriarchal family, with all its strengths and weaknesses - and abuses. It’s often important to take Jesus’ words in their historical-social context. Just as Jesus criticized other dominant cultural systems of his time, so too, we must expect that the family did not escape his shrewd scrutiny.
 
Dear Apologist,

I have encountered a very tough question by my Atheist friend, he quoted this and asked me to explain. If God loves us, why did Jesus told us to hate everyone even our own lives?

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26 NIV)

Can anyone help me please? I’m looking for a gentle answer

thank you
Hyperbole was a very common device in rabbinic teaching, so Jesus’ listeners would not have thought He meant for them to actually hate anyone (even without reference to His command that they love their enemies). The point is that the natural love we have for our family members should be so much less than the love we have for Him that it seems like hate by comparison.
 
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