Churches and Weddings in Chicago Diocese

  • Thread starter Thread starter PatienceAndLove
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
We do marriage prep at our parish in the archdiocese of Chicago, and on occasion I have been asked to witness the marriage. We meet with each couple a minimal of probably five times usually 2 hours each time, do their FOCCUS Inventory with them, as well as provide gobs of written material. Meet with their witnesses to do their affadavits, collect their paper work…fill necessary forms etc…and in the seven years, I have been doing it, I have never received a stipend for my services. The church has its fees, as well as the organist. The only stipend we ask, is for the altar servers, which usually is very minimal depending on the generosity of the bride and groom.
We remind our couples that when they pay their Pre-Cana fee or their Engaged Encounter fee, this also entitles them to receive the Introductory class for NFP usually held at one of our local hospitals, as well as two continuing education workshops in the first year they are married. That means…5 classes for one fee if they choose to attend. The costs of being married in Chicago are a spit in the bucket as compared to what they get in return. Statistics show that the more effort and study you put into marriage prep, the better a couple has a chance of having resources to make their marriage a smarter marriage, not a starter marriage. Our diocese also has a free e-newsletter called First Years and Forever that we recommend to couples as well.

More than likely as others have pointed out, this couple is church shopping…for that long aisle for the sake of picture taking only…not the graces of this wonderful sacrament and the wisdom the church has in regards to marriage prep.

Also, we remind our couples that of the many family friendly resources that are available long term through the family ministries offices of our diocese. www.familyministries.org
 
stbruno said:
We do marriage prep at our parish in the archdiocese of Chicago, and on occasion I have been asked to witness the marriage. We meet with each couple a minimal of probably five times usually 2 hours each time, do their FOCCUS Inventory with them, as well as provide gobs of written material. Meet with their witnesses to do their affadavits, collect their paper work…fill necessary forms etc…and in the seven years, I have been doing it, I have never received a stipend for my services.
Click to expand...
This is a good reminder, however, of the REAL costs of having a wedding and how the services offerred go far beyond one hour on that “special day”.
The church has its fees, as well as the organist. The only stipend we ask, is for the altar servers, which usually is very minimal depending on the generosity of the bride and groom.
Click to expand...
And, as a one time altar boy, I can attest that most couples are awful cheap. Some will even still ya. (We used to go hang out by the best man - whose responsibility it was to offer the tip - and make jokes about money to each other when he forgot to pay up.)
We remind our couples that when they pay their Pre-Cana fee or their Engaged Encounter fee, this also entitles them to receive the Introductory class for NFP usually held at one of our local hospitals, as well as two continuing education workshops in the first year they are married. That means…5 classes for one fee if they choose to attend. The costs of being married in Chicago are a spit in the bucket as compared to what they get in return. Statistics show that the more effort and study you put into marriage prep, the better a couple has a chance of having resources to make their marriage a smarter marriage, not a starter marriage. Our diocese also has a free e-newsletter called First Years and Forever that we recommend to couples as well.
Click to expand...
Well put excellent advise. However, I can also see where this all could be quite overwhelming. No wonder no one wants to bother learning NFP if there is THIS much of a committment (FIVE CLASSES!!!) when (at that point in the relationship) the typical couple just wants to tie the knot already and get on with life.
More than likely as others have pointed out, this couple is church shopping…for that long aisle for the sake of picture taking only…not the graces of this wonderful sacrament and the wisdom the church has in regards to marriage prep.

Also, we remind our couples that of the many family friendly resources that are available long term through the family ministries offices of our diocese. www.familyministries.org
Click to expand...
This gets at the bigger issues at play. Unfortunately, the engagement period is perhaps not the best time to actually first offer such referrals, as the couple is most often not in a place personally where any of it makes much sense to them. All they know at this point is that they are “in love” and want to “get married”.
 
Looking, back. You are all right.

I guess I just am not thinking metropolian/big city costs. I got married in a small town, in a very small church, by a priest I have known for years. He was actually kind of upset that we even donated to the church and gave him something.

shrug

I know she is paying quite a bit for another things, so I think she should just suck it up and pay it, but she won’t listen to me (I’m crazy)
 
I was married in the Chicago archdiocese in 2003. I had moved out of the area prior to my wedding, but my mother was still a member of the parish. The church fee was $200.00. The recommeded stipend for the priest and the organist was $100.00 each. We did not pay for pre-cana. The wonderful priest that married my fiance (hubby now) and Icalled us every few weeks before the wedding and monthly after the wedding for about a year. Just to let us know that we were in his prayers and to see how things were going.
  • Kim
 
Could it be she added all the suggested stipans (costs) of the wedding?
Priest, alter servers, musicians, ushers, Chuch reception hall, etc?
 
PatienceAndLove said:
I know she is paying quite a bit for another things, so I think she should just suck it up and pay it, but she won’t listen to me (I’m crazy)
Click to expand...
That said, I do think that there is something for the Church to consider here. When people return for significant events in their life, it is an opportunity to reach them. If her policies are turning people off from the Church and making them think that, “It’s just all about making money,” then this is a problem. Perhaps we ought to look at ways to better address the situation and respond to this unique opportunity to potentially reconnect people with the Body of Christ.
 
Remember that cost all depends upon the parish/church. The average parish will likely have relatively reasonable donation rates for it’s parishioners. Certain notable and highly demanded places carry premium prices.
 
Those who are in Chicago-

Would you be so kind as to share the names of some parishes?

I am being called out on the other board (where this all occurred), and now people are calling me un-Christian for telling her that I think she is wrong, she should have registered, this is pretty much her fault for not registering at a parish, and that she needs to quite whining, etc…

Thanks.
 
PatienceAndLove said:
Those who are in Chicago-

Would you be so kind as to share the names of some parishes?

I am being called out on the other board (where this all occurred), and now people are calling me un-Christian for telling her that I think she is wrong, she should have registered, this is pretty much her fault for not registering at a parish, and that she needs to quite whining, etc…

Thanks.
Click to expand...
Well, there’s this:

parishdirectory.archchicago.org/ParishSearch.aspx

There are 300 some parishes in what is quite a large metropolis. Not to mention that much of the larger area is in other dioceses (Joliet, Gary, Rockford). So it’s hard to offer suggestions off the cuff without having some context as to where she lives or is willing to go.

I think the real question is a burden upon her, therefore. Where is it that SHE wants to get married? That could prove much more telling.
 
P&L,

If you’r on the Knot or the Wedding Channel-- forget defending yoruself.

All faithful Catholics are considered evil people on those boards. Faithful Catholics are ignorant, jugmental, hateful, and bigoted as far as the “enlightened” secular crowd and “former Catholics” are concerned. The worst are these women-- the ones who are a-religious and only show up again to get their pictures taken in a pretty church.

Just say your peace and ignore all the comments that will come back at you. Trying to defend yourself will just wear you down.

Bottom line: A private entity has the right to charge for use of its buildings-- heck even the government charges to rent out parks, rec. centers, and such.

So, like it or lump it. That’s what I’d say.
 
archdiocese-chgo.org/

Here’s our website…explore it and learn about us.
In our parish, if a couple indeed wishes to be married in the Catholic church and they cannot afford the costs of the stipends, many times they are waived or reduced upon talking to the pastor.
 
PatienceAndLove said:
Nope, it’s a Catholic board on Facebook.
Click to expand...
Wow, if you’re getting attacked on a supposedly Catholic board then that’s pretty sad.

This is actually a controversial topic-- who knew?

It comes up here at CAF every couple of months. And there are some very heated opinoins on this whole idea of the churches charging and how much.
 
I have gotten married twice(widowed) in two different dioceses.And neither time was a fee even hinted at by the parish priests.I personally have never, ever heard of charging for use of a church.I was married in 1975 in the Diocese o Gary and in 2004 in the Archdiocese of Louiville. one stipend was even returned.

griz
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top