Civil ceremony then religious ceremony

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So my fiancé is in the process of being baptized catholic, first communion, and confirmation. We are already planning a catholic ceremony for next year. He recently accepted a work offer in the city I currently live in for school. With the approval and blessing of both of our parents, he will be living with me as it is more financially responsible. The condition for this, though, is that my parents are asking for us to be married through the state in a few months and then have the catholic ceremony next year as planned. I’ve read up on the process of convalidation, but I’m still not sure what to do. With this new job, he can put me under his medical insurance, but they require a marriage certificate. How would this work if we do get married through the state and then through the church? Would we be considered living in sin since we’d be married outside the church and living together?
 
Cjl1 said:
How would this work if we do get married through the state and then through the church? Would we be considered living in sin since we’d be married outside the church and living together?
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You need to talk to the priest preparing you for marriage about this, not your parents. You need to put the church above financial convenience. Your parents can keep you on their insurance until you’re 26.
 
I’ve tried suggesting to them we wait until the church ceremony to be married, but even if we get married through the state this year or not, he’d need to live with me for financial reasons. Would this still put me in the same situation?
 
Living together is really not a good solution. You need to talk to the priest preparing you for marriage.
 
Cjl1 said:
it is more financially responsible
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This is not the reason to get civilly married. This is not the reason to circumvent church marriage. Nowhere in the Bible does it say the path to salvation is being “financially responsible”. What it does say is that we are to be holy.

I’m really sorry that you are being confused by the fact that your parents are pushing this. Your parents should not be pushing you to live with a person and get married outside the church. That is all kinds of messed up. They seem to be confusing Things of the world and the things of God.

He can get his own place for a few months, you can get student insurance if you are turning 26 and still in school. There is no reason to do things in the way they are pushing you to do, especially because they conflict with what is the right thing to do.
 
Thank you everyone for the advice. I will reach out to our priest as well.
 
Agreed. How sad that your own parents would encourage you to sin for money Ugh !
 
1ke said:
Your parents should not be pushing you to live with a person and get married outside the church. That is all kinds of messed up.
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You should be planning your marriage for this year, if you wish to be married this year.

If the Church insists on waiting until your husband is initiated, THAT is all kinds of messed up. They may have reasons for it, but they should helping you to live a Christian life, not throwing obstacles in your way.

Talk to your priest. He should be able to help.
 
Why not get married in the Church now? Or at least when your fiancé is ready to move where you are.
 
It’s morning so much for the money, more so that they don’t want people to talk about how their unmarried daughter is living with her fiancé. But I’m going to speak with them and convince them to let us wait and we’ll figure something out. Thank you everyone for the advice
 
It is possible to have a smaller, simpler wedding in the church earlier and have a big party after you have been married for a year.
 
Yet, in the eyes of God, you will be unmarried. Who matters more, your parents’ friends or God?

He can get his own place, in fact, ask at your parish, there may be a family who has a guest room they will let him use until your marriage.
 
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