Civil Marrage before Sacramental Marrage?

[eaglehwsj]

Several friends of mine are currently in marriage preparation. However, many of them recently received deployment orders that have them shipping before this summer (when all of them were planning on getting married). So the question that comes up is: is it OK for a couple to be civilly married in order to get the legal benefits of marriage (which are greatly magnified with a husband/wife in the sandbox) with the understanding that the couple will live as brother and sister or even not together at all until they actually get married in the church?

AND, if civil marriage is OK, would marriage preparation need to be completed before the couple could even be married civilly.

 

[phoage]

I’m not sure about the brother and sister thing but I believe it would be OK.

As for the marriage prep, yes, it would still be required in some form or other. My wife annd I had been married 37 yrs civilly and recently had a Catholic wedding. We had to take a class before the convalidation ceremony.

What your freind may do instead of your proposed solution is to talk to the pastor at their church and see if the entire process can be accelerated. Special accelerated pre-cana classes followed by a minimum church wedding. If they want a more extensive wedding for family/friends, they could have that at a later date.

If the pastor is not amenable to that, check with the unit Catholic chaplain.

 

[phoage]

I’m not sure about the brother and sister thing but I believe it would be OK.

As for the marriage prep, since civil marriage is regulated by the states in the US, it would depend on your state laws but I am not aware of any state that requires marriage preparation classes.

What your friend may do instead of your proposed solution is to talk to the pastor at their church and see if the entire process can be accelerated. Special accelerated pre-cana classes followed by a minimum church wedding. If they want a more extensive wedding for family/friends, they could have that at a later date.

If the pastor is not amenable to that, check with the unit Catholic chaplain.

 

[1ke]

Several friends of mine are currently in marriage preparation. However, many of them recently received deployment orders that have them shipping before this summer (when all of them were planning on getting married). So the question that comes up is: is it OK for a couple to be civilly married in order to get the legal benefits of marriage (which are greatly magnified with a husband/wife in the sandbox) with the understanding that the couple will live as brother and sister or even not together at all until they actually get married in the church?

AND, if civil marriage is OK, would marriage preparation need to be completed before the couple could even be married civilly.

There is no provision for this in the Catholic Church. In the US, the priest/deacon is the witness to the Catholic marriage **and **the officiant of the civil marriage.

If the couple gets married civilly, they will be in an invalid marriage and will require **convalidation **in the Church.

They should talk to their priest before they attempt something like this. They will run afoul of Church law if they undertake to do something like this in the US.

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Before someone brings it up, in Europe couples must be married by the civil authorities before they can be married in the Church because the priest/deacon is NOT an agent of the state as they are in the US.

HOWEVER, there it is the requirement to be married by the state-- which the law requires-- and then in very close proximity (i.e. in a day or two) get married in the Church (and they do not live as married until they marry in the Church). For example, they marry civilly at the court on Friday afternoon, they marry in the Church on Saturday.

YOUR FRIENDS ARE NOT IN EUROPE.

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Bottom line: Your friends should NOT attempt to circumvent Church law. They should follow Church teaching and talk to their priest before doing anything.

 

[johns58w]

This is a general statement not to put anyone on the spot here. I am saddened that Catholics in a general case not rooted in their faith or well catechized choose to put the civil marriage above or in place of sacramental marriage. Like the Church has nothing to do with civil authorities.

The Church does teach us to respect civil authorities when pertaining to social justice. While respecting civil authorities, while unfortunately Roe v Wade is in effect, that does not mean the Catholic Church and its members approve of the decision that Roe v Wade is appropriate in social justice. We as Catholics oppose it.

As Catholics, our responsibility on marriage is to communicate with the Church first (priest, chaplain,sacramental preparation, marriage preparation) before civil authorities. When these obligations are fufilled, then communication with the civil authorities can take place and usually the process does not take that long depending on where these actions take place. The Church will work with the civil authorities on the marriage issue.

A meeting with a Catholic priest or Catholic chaplain is highly advised.

 

[Ron_Conte]

Several friends of mine are currently in marriage preparation. However, many of them recently received deployment orders that have them shipping before this summer (when all of them were planning on getting married). So the question that comes up is: is it OK for a couple to be civilly married in order to get the legal benefits of marriage (which are greatly magnified with a husband/wife in the sandbox) with the understanding that the couple will live as brother and sister or even not together at all until they actually get married in the church?

AND, if civil marriage is OK, would marriage preparation need to be completed before the couple could even be married civilly.

The couple may ask the Bishop of their diocese for a dispensation from the requirement of completing the marriage prep course, so that they can marry in the Church prior to deployment.

 

[puzzleannie]

Several friends of mine are currently in marriage preparation. However, many of them recently received deployment orders that have them shipping before this summer (when all of them were planning on getting married). So the question that comes up is: is it OK for a couple to be civilly married in order to get the legal benefits of marriage (which are greatly magnified with a husband/wife in the sandbox) with the understanding that the couple will live as brother and sister or even not together at all until they actually get married in the church?

AND, if civil marriage is OK, would marriage preparation need to be completed before the couple could even be married civilly.

the bishops have directed pastors to do everything to facilitate marriage of those who are otherwise free to marry and properly disposed in situations such as this, so talk with the pastor and make sure he understands the situation so he can advise you. Yes it is possible to marry civilly and then have the marriage convalidated, but the Catholic in that situation is not validly married and may not engage in marital relations until the Church laws have been complied with. Best to get personal advice and assistance relevant to you from your own pastor (not the parish secretary)

and yes there are legal situations in some times and places which require the civil marriage before the church marriage, so comments criticizing people who go this route are out of place here. The essential fact to understand is that the couple is not validly marriage until the Church blesses and convalidates the marriage.