Co worker - is this considered judging?

[Na098]

I became somewhat friends with this lady I used to work with at a previous job. We talk randomly (through text mostly), and have hung out one time. She has 4 kids, and divorced. When we worked together, she met this guy who was working in the same building, and they became friends. He’s married, but she continued talking to him, and she fell in love with him very quickly. She would talk to me about it a lot. I didn’t want to seem judgmental towards her, so instead of telling her what to do I just told her ‘I would stop contact with him’, and basically just gave her advice on ways she can get over him and in time with no contact she would. But, she didn’t take my advice. She ended up having sex with him. it really grossed me out and especially how she would get jealous if he was with his wife or whatever, as if she had a claim on him or something… I can’t explain it. His wife was pregnant also, and they now has a newborn baby.

I really kind of don’t want to associate myself with a person who would do such a thing, and especially become friends with them. I respond to her texts and am cordial with her, but yesterday and today she called me, and I ignored her call. Is it wrong or judgmental of me to stop talking to her??

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

The church has no issues with making judgments. What would be sinful is to encourage your co-workers sins or to gossip about them or to not treat her with mercy.

It is right to separate oneself from those who do not have your values, especally those who are gravely sinning against a commandment.

Personally, I think it would be rude to “ghost” her. I would simply say, “Your sharing that you slept with a married man makes me uncomfortable. I feel party to it, and I don’t want to be. I am more than uncomfortable with what you and this man are doing to his family. I will be happy to support you if you decide this is not a good lifepath, but at this time, I just don’t want to talk.”

I think that even on the most secular boards, you will be hard-pressed to find people who would encourage you to remain friends with a woman who is so cavalier about destroying not only her life but this mans, his wife, and his child’s life. STD’s can be very dangerous to the unborn, so this is a life and death issue.

 

[robertmidwest]

No. I think you have done a pretty good job here. She is a big girl. She already knew it was wrong for her to get involved with a married dude. She didn’t need you to explained it over again. You didn’t support her in this did you? No. You tried to help her out of it. Now you don’t want anything to do with it? Good for you! Let her go.

 

[Na098]

Thanks! That makes me feel better. I just was starting to feel as if I was part of this mess by being friends with her.

 

[Na098]

I don’t know if I could tell her that exactly, but that would be a good idea … Maybe it would help her to stop what she’s doing. But, knowing her personality type, I don’t think she would stop.