Comforting someone during mass?

[angell1]

so there’s a rather elderly lady that goes to mass at my church. we usually end up in the same pew week after week. she suffers from chronic arthritis, low blood pressure and bronchitis but always makes her best effort to come.

she does have trouble during mass though due to pain and dizziness from her medical conditions but still wishes to be there, which I think is very commendable. so if I notice she is struggling, I will usually hold her hand or try and comfort her in some way, just so she can sort of anchor on to something, if you know what I mean. and it really seems to help her… of course, this is all done very discreetly so I don’t even think people really notice.

I’m wondering if it’s ok though. I know a lot of people might think this kind of thing is irreverent, example being, all the threads about hand holding during the our father and what not. but I don’t really think this is the same thing. I’m not just trying to be emotional or sentimental or things like that. wouldn’t god want us to have some compassion on our suffering brethren if we notice it?

anyways, thoughts are welcome

 

[corsair]

I, personally, think that what you are doing is very OK. The secret is exactly what you described, “discreetly”. As long it does not interfere with the Mass and your attention to praying, then it is fine and an act of compassion for her.

 

[MarianCatholic]

so there’s a rather elderly lady that goes to mass at my church. we usually end up in the same pew week after week. she suffers from chronic arthritis, low blood pressure and bronchitis but always makes her best effort to come.

she does have trouble during mass though due to pain and dizziness from her medical conditions but still wishes to be there, which I think is very commendable. so if I notice she is struggling, I will usually hold her hand or try and comfort her in some way, just so she can sort of anchor on to something, if you know what I mean. and it really seems to help her… of course, this is all done very discreetly so I don’t even think people really notice.

I’m wondering if it’s ok though. I know a lot of people might think this kind of thing is irreverent, example being, all the threads about hand holding during the our father and what not. but I don’t really think this is the same thing. I’m not just trying to be emotional or sentimental or things like that. wouldn’t god want us to have some compassion on our suffering brethren if we notice it?

anyways, thoughts are welcome

God bless you and keep up the good work my canadian friend
I think you are spot on when you talk about compassion and if this poor old woman feel its comfortable I think its to do something good, and if the church is the wrong place for us to care about one another I think we are pretty far from what Our Lord taught us while he walked among us on earth.

You are in my prayers my dear sister in Christ

Yours in The Hearts of Jesus and Mary

• MarianCatholic

 

[angell1]

I, personally, think that what you are doing is very OK. The secret is exactly what you described, “discreetly”. As long it does not interfere with the Mass and your attention to praying, then it is fine and an act of compassion for her.

no, it’s usually during the offeratory song, or after communion, or sometimes during the homily if the priest if kind of dragging on. a couple times it did happen during the our father, but those were particularly bad days. and it’s usually below the pew level so as not to distract anyone. it doesn’t distract my paryers and in fact, helps her focus on her prayers better

not that I really care what other people think, I know God knows the situation.

I mean, the other option is to ignore her and pretend I’m not noticing that she’s struggling, which I just really can’t do

 

[Neofight]

Showing love for your neighbor can never be viewed as wrong!

 

[runningdude]

so there’s a rather elderly lady that goes to mass at my church. we usually end up in the same pew week after week. she suffers from chronic arthritis, low blood pressure and bronchitis but always makes her best effort to come.

she does have trouble during mass though due to pain and dizziness from her medical conditions but still wishes to be there, which I think is very commendable. so if I notice she is struggling, I will usually hold her hand or try and comfort her in some way, just so she can sort of anchor on to something, if you know what I mean. and it really seems to help her… of course, this is all done very discreetly so I don’t even think people really notice.

The Seven Works of Corporal Mercy:
To feed the hungry.
To give drink to the thirsty.
To clothe the naked.
To harbour the harbourless.
To visit the sick.
To visit the imprisoned
To bury the dead.

Your actions:

I’m wondering if it’s ok though. I know a lot of people might think this kind of thing is irreverent, example being, all the threads about hand holding during the our father and what not. but I don’t really think this is the same thing. I’m not just trying to be emotional or sentimental or things like that. wouldn’t god want us to have some compassion on our suffering brethren if we notice it?

anyways, thoughts are welcome

There is no prohibition against holding hands during the Our Father; it is simply not mandatory.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I concerns me that you think there even could be something wrong with this.

What do you think could be a problem with it?

 

[z_0101]

From the Book of Matthew 25:34-40

34Then shall the king say to them that shall be on his right hand: Come, ye blessed of my Father, possess you the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35For I was hungry, and you gave me to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me to drink; I was a stranger, and you took me in: 36Naked, and you covered me: sick, and you visited me: I was in prison, and you came to me. 37Then shall the just answer him, saying: Lord, when did we see thee hungry, and fed thee; thirsty, and gave thee drink? 38And when did we see thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and covered thee? 39Or when did we see thee sick or in prison, and came to thee? 40And the king answering, shall say to them: ***Amen I say to you, as long as you did it to one of these my least brethren, you did it to me. ***

From Romans 13:8-10
Love Fulfills the Law

8Owe no man any thing, but to love one another. For he that loveth his neighbour, hath fulfilled the law. 9For Thou shalt not commit adultery: Thou shalt not kill: Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness: Thou shalt not covet: and if there be any other commandment, it is comprised in this word, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 10The love of our neighbour worketh no evil. Love therefore is the fulfilling of the law.
This last should sound familiar… it was the second reading from 9/7’s Mass

Bless you for supporting this person in their time of need… maybe, God put you in that time and place… and you took up the cross. Thank God for the chance to support another person.

 

[SuperLuigi]

so there’s a rather elderly lady that goes to mass at my church. we usually end up in the same pew week after week. she suffers from chronic arthritis, low blood pressure and bronchitis but always makes her best effort to come.

she does have trouble during mass though due to pain and dizziness from her medical conditions but still wishes to be there, which I think is very commendable. so if I notice she is struggling, I will usually hold her hand or try and comfort her in some way, just so she can sort of anchor on to something, if you know what I mean. and it really seems to help her… of course, this is all done very discreetly so I don’t even think people really notice.

I’m wondering if it’s ok though. I know a lot of people might think this kind of thing is irreverent, example being, all the threads about hand holding during the our father and what not. but I don’t really think this is the same thing. I’m not just trying to be emotional or sentimental or things like that. wouldn’t god want us to have some compassion on our suffering brethren if we notice it?

anyways, thoughts are welcome

It sounds like you are going above and beyond a bit.

I don’t post in here all that often, but as I recall the Our Father holding hands thread was more about what is proper Church practice, and I gathered the Vatican did NOT want Catholics to hold hands during the Our Father, but some choose to just to be polite or nice.

I just think we need to respectful in Mass, focus on God and that feeling personally offended shouldn’t manifest itself in Church just because someone doesn’t want to touch you.

It’s pretty hard to go wrong with charity, I would say, but I wonder if these sorts of things shouldn’t be brought to the attention of the ushers or the priest in a private conversation and DISCREETLY.

I think more awareness of these issues helps, too.

I personally don’t like seeing handicapped and elderly folks struggle to get to Mass or Confession, but not everyone person with issues is going to receive people as openly as this woman has with you. If you are going to ask someone if they need help, they may not always accept or even be offended by it.

People just need to be ware of the possible reactions.

 

[SuperLuigi]

I concerns me that you think there even could be something wrong with this.

What do you think could be a problem with it?

It’s not a bad question (there’s never a bad question ) but, you may be surprised at the time of weird drama some people just have to stir up in life, my friend.

 

[Iheartcoffee]

I’m fairly certain Jesus loves what you are doing. Compassion is never inappropriate.

 

[TrueChurch]

I’m fairly certain Jesus loves what you are doing. Compassion is never inappropriate.

Jesus himself would have done something like that if he were here. He wouldn’t care what other people thought about it either. God bless you angell1 for what you’re doing!

 

[zz912]

Jesus himself would have done something like that if he were here. He wouldn’t care what other people thought about it either. God bless you angell1 for what you’re doing!

Agreed.

Comforting someone, as long as it is discreet and doesn’t distract from Mass, is a corporal work of mercy, and your comfort to her helps her to make it through Mass. Jesus is quite happy that you are helping one of His cherished lambs while they are visiting with Him at Mass.