Coming back to Christ (as a family)

[Jonathon]

Hello all!

The basics to my story:

• 28 years old. Cradle catholic. Baptized and received communion, but stopped attending mass before confirmation.
• Husband, and father of three AWESOME girls (ages 4, 2 & 1 month). Married a baptized christian of no real religious denomination (Methodist & Presbyterian services mostly).
• Have for a long time had a desire to return to the Church, but for whatever reason (fear, pride, self-consciousness) just have never made past a few Mass attendances over the past 5 or so years.

Now my wife has absolutely never said anything about NEVER becoming catholic. She has no anti-catholic tendencies at all. In the conversations we’ve had, she’s shown me she is not very clear on what the Church teaches whatsoever and has a lot of the classic Catholic Church falsehoods in her mind.

So we both have been talking more about God with out girls, reading bible stories and praying with them. And now we’ve approached the Sunday service question. Without typing a million words about the discussion, I’ll break it down to this –

My main goal is to get my wife and children into the fullness of the church. But I just don’t like the idea of my wife attending mass because I “win” a discussion, or by “getting my way”. I know the best thing I can do to explain the faith to my wife, and bring her to the faith is to live it and when it’s right engage her in discussions on what we both believe. BUT that leaves my daughters, and leads me to a question:

IF my wife has issues with attending mass right away, could I in good conscious allow her to take my daughters to a Protestant service (most likely Methodist) while I attend Mass and continue to get my own house in order (or maybe she’d take the girls one week, then I’d bring the girls to Mass, etc…).

Sorry if some of this seems jumbled or chaotic, was trying to keep it short as possible.

 

[HoosMommie]

The very best thing you can do is pray for her. And then pray some more. And some more. Then live a life that will show her what being Catholic is all about. As attributed to St. Francis, preach the gospel daily, if necessary use words. Never EVER understimate the power of prayer. Ask me how I know.

I don’t have any words of wisdom to address the issue of your children to a protestant service (someone a lot smarter than me will probably jump in there) but I will be praying for you and your precious family.

 

[CradleJourney]

My main goal is to get my wife and children into the fullness of the church. But I just don’t like the idea of my wife attending mass because I “win” a discussion, or by “getting my way”. I know the best thing I can do to explain the faith to my wife, and bring her to the faith is to live it and when it’s right engage her in discussions on what we both believe. BUT that leaves my daughters, and leads me to a question:

IF my wife has issues with attending mass right away, could I in good conscious allow her to take my daughters to a Protestant service (most likely Methodist) while I attend Mass and continue to get my own house in order (or maybe she’d take the girls one week, then I’d bring the girls to Mass, etc…).

Sorry if some of this seems jumbled or chaotic, was trying to keep it short as possible.

Follow where God is leading you - start attending mass. Bring the girls, invite but don’t pressure the wife. And don’t worry about what hasn’t happened yet

My concern is one you haven’t mentioned yet … 3 children under 5, one a very small infant, is quite a handful to deal with during mass (been there, done that, still have the stains on my shirt to prove it grin). Find a good parish where you are comfortable bringing them if you have that option (some seem more welcoming of the little ones than others). Hopefully one with a preschool age religious ed program.

If I was your wife, at this point, sleep deprivation, logistics, and concern over the kids making noise/causing a scene would be bigger issues right now, than the difference in theology between protestant and Catholic. gentle smile

My thought:
If she attends with you - great!
If she lets you take the kids but stays home - no problem, after some probably well deserved rest, she may very well be able to hear her own call and follow your lead to the Church!
If she lets you take the kids but decides to attend elsewhere - no problem, pray for her, be glad she is seeking God, and ask Him to direct her journey (which may be more convoluted than yours)!

The only issue would be if (down the road) she feels strongly she doesn’t want her children to be raised Catholic. Since that is just one possible negative outcome and it doesn’t sound like you are anywhere near there yet (the children are young enough that you have awhile to talk this over), focus on the positives and focus on the now (like this coming Sunday) and take the future to God in prayer and trust in Him to work it all out.

BTW - Welcome home

 

[vsedriver]

Got to confession, go to Mass. Begin living a Catholic Christian life. Take your oldest daughter with you if you don’t want to take all 3 small children. Find a local Catholic school and prepare to send your children there.

Demand nothing from your wife. Always cheerfully invite her to join you and if she declines kiss her good bye and tell her you’ll be home after Mass.

As you discuss religion with your children ask for your wife’s (name removed by moderator)ut. If she hesitates on a topic or admits she doesn’t know much then say maybe ‘we’ should get more info and then do a bit of research and present your findings.

take it one step at a time but live the life first. She will follow you if you lead by example. Be humble and holy and she will follow!