Lets just assume both have legit reasons for avoiding pregnancy. I would rather not start down the road of assigning “active prayer life and discernment of Gods will” exclusively to either group. This can be true or not true in either case.
The “active prayer life” is what differentiates licit birth control from illicit birth control, and the unitive/procreative criteria is what differentiates licit sex acts from illicit ones. Two different, related, moral judgments.
Means are important, but they are not the only thing.
The contraception/NFP debate
deals with means.
The licit/illicit birth control debate
deals with ends.
This is what I have been trying to say all along. If the means are objectively illicit, they are never acceptable. Even the best ends don’t make them licit. If the means are objectively licit, they must also be accompanied with good ends. If good means (NFP) are accompanied by good ends (spacing births for serious reasons), then the use of the means is acceptable. If good means (NFP) are accompanied by bad ends (spacing births for unserious reasons), the moral act is illicit,
but not because the means are illicit. Using NFP for bad reasons (bad ends) does not make one all of a sudden guilty of using contraception (bad means). I’m not saying that they are not still sinning, but that they are sinning in a different way and for a different reason than a contracepting couple is considered sinning.
Quote:
A couple that uses NFP to avoid pregnancy for years or decades with no hope of pregnancy might not be open to life. I fully admit that.
I would amend this to say “They are not open to life”. The successful practice of NFP is precisely hinged on this. If you are proposing otherwise, in what way are they open to life?
I guess I need to be clearer in what I mean when I use “open to life,” which I believe is what the Church means by the term. When I’ve been using “open to life,” I have been describing an attitude–a prayerful, discerning attitude shared by a couple regarding welcoming children into their family according to God’s plan. I have been trying to be careful in using this term only when referring to the couple’s overall life, not to the use of NFP to avoid or achieve pregnancy in specific instances, but I’ve probably messed up. When we are talking about sex, we are talking about not frustrating the procreative end of sex. This is an essential part of being “open to life,” but not the specific meaning of the phrase.
So when I say that a couple “might not be open to life” in their use of NFP,
I am referring to the couple who does not have “serious” reasons to avoid pregnancy, and who does not have an active discernment process regarding openness to pregnancy. This couple, even as they sin in this way through a lack of trust in God’s plan, still does not frustrate the procreative end of sex when they do come together as husband and wife. Overall, while their attitude is not open to life, their behavior is. Their individual acts of sex are both unitive and procreative
because the spouses offer all of their natural fertility to one another in that act. They are using just means to accomplish an unjust end, but the sin of contraception does not pertain to ends, it pertains to means. Their sin is the unjustified use of birth control, but birth control is not objectively wrong.
However, the correct practice of NFP would define every act of sex would be defined by its ability or lack of ability to produce children. You are basically saying some of these would not “frustrate Gods purpose” or would be “open to life”, or which ever language you wish to choose. If we know every act is effectively sterile, at what times would these acts be “open to life?”
I believe I have addressed this already. If we know every act is effectively sterile, as long as no barriers/contraceptives are used, the act itself does not frustrate the procreative purpose of sex but the attitude itself might not be “open to life”.
There is a difference between
observing that the woman is effectively sterile and
rendering the woman/man/act itself sterile. This is the crux of the issue. I really don’t know how else to explain it.
You are choosing to focus on the fact that they are offering “natural sterility,” which is true, but fertility and sterility are two sides of the same coin, and the natural process a woman goes through each month in moving from fertile to sterile phases of her cycle
was designed by God. This is why it is permissible for husbands and wives to have recourse to the infertile period of the cycle when they are seeking to avoid pregnancy and can still be said as not frustrating the procreative end of sex
as designed by God. NFP observes and works with this design. As I said before, if women had been created to be always fertile, like men, NFP would not only be impossible, it would be illicit in every case.