Conception / Infertility Support?

  • Thread starter Thread starter ColleenEH
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
C

ColleenEH

Guest
My husband and I just celebrated our second wedding anniversary; we had been “not preventing” since we got married, but have bumped it up to “actively trying” after the first year. I realize that’s pretty normal and not a particularly long time and we haven’t had any “infertility” diagnosis.

As far as the physical side goes- having taken an NFP course, I know about charting and NFP techniques; I know the Catholic teachings on IVF, know about NaPro and all that. Should this continue to be an issue over the next few months I plan on reaching out to medical professionals, etc.

I’ve been trying to make an effort to have a better prayer life, to turn to our Blessed Mother especially in the Rosary, to go to Adoration.

But one piece I feel like I’ve been “missing” is something like a Catholic-focused support group to help me through the waiting/disappointments. To get to know other Catholics who have had the same experience or, even better, are going through the same thing. I’ve seen some blogs but they’re either no longer updated or the people who started them now have families. I haven’t found any forum groups (I tried searching here at CAF, but it seemed like the relevant threads are old), but maybe I haven’t looked hard enough?

I really don’t have any Catholic friends so I think that’s a big part of it. And while my husband of course wants a child as much as I do, and has gladly agreed to honor any rules of the Church in the process, he isn’t Catholic either (actually he’s not religious at all) so he doesn’t necessarily understand the spiritual side.

I try to remind myself that it’s all up to God’s will and timing, and that he’s always by my side, but at the moment I’m feeling lonely on this journey.

I would be grateful for any stories/anecdotes; for any books or materials to read; or for any suggestions at all. And of course I’m always thankful for prayers. 🙂
 
Sadly I have found that Catholic online support groups for infertility are really lacking. There are tons of infertility forums in general but mostly focused on women going through IVF so I too have had trouble finding people struggling with infertility that are also following Catholic teachings. The emotional roller coaster of it all can really make you start to go crazy and it can feel super lonely. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over two years now, but just started seeing a NaPro doctor about 2 months ago. Turns out I have low progesterone and may not be ovulating so I am now starting medications to hopefully help.

It took me a long time to decide to finally see a doctor about our issues trying to conceive so I completely get it if you rather actively try a few months before seeking out medical help, but I just wanted to mention that doctors typically say after a year of not preventing statistically a couple with “normal” fertility would have conceived so they won’t think it is unusual if you make an appointment now. So don’t feel like you have to wait. Also highly recommend to start charting using the Creighton model if you aren’t already. As much as I put it off and it was a lot to do all the blood work and tests it has actually helped me be much more at peace to get a clearer idea what the issue is and what I can do about it than the endless speculation.

Feel free to private message me if you need someone to talk to.I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and you will be in my prayers.
 
There is a Catholic infertility Facebook group called “Catholic Infertility - St. Gerard, pray for us.” Here is the link facebook.com/CatholicInfertilityStGerardPrayforUs/
The page I have linked to is the gateway page; you would need to send a private message to the administrator to have them add you to the actual Facebook group, which is a “secret group” – i.e., only fellow group members can see posts and other content.
 
So many married couples have their crosses to carry especially when we live in a world of constant sexual sin. Even some of the clergy have been broken down by the sexualized culture. I face issues in the same category but of different nature. Stay strong in the Lord, frequent the Sacraments, and trust in the Churchs teachings on marital love.
 
He Remembers the Barren is a great blog. The author is a conservative Lutheran and one of the people behind the recent move in her synod to investigate their stance on artificial reproductive technology. (She is against IVF).
 
I am grateful for the witness you are giving us as a faithful Catholic woman struggling with infertility. I truly mean that. I do hope and pray you are able to have children; in the meantime, I am thanking God for your witness and your faithfulness and your love.

I was married a year and a half before I conceived my first born, and, like you, we had never tried to avoid. I realize that this time frame pales in comparison to many struggling with infertility but it was a real cross to bear for me. I used to take a bus to work and one of the stops was right outside a day care. Every day I I would drive past these adorable chubby babies and it was painful. I remember praying, “Dear Lord, please entrust me with a child!”

In the months before I conceived, I saw an NFP OB-GYN, bought and started using a babycomp monitor, and lost a little weight. I also read somewhere to try abstaining a few days before the peak day and for us that seemed to work. I wonder if it has to do with sperm count or quality or something. Or maybe it was just coincidental.

Are you familiar with Colleen Carroll Cambell? She’s a Catholic author and former presidential speechwriter. I heard her speak on Catholic radio about her struggles with infertility and it really made an impression on me. You might want to look into her book, My Sisters the Saints.

I’ll pray for you.
 
OP I’m in a very similar situation, childless and without any Catholic friends. My Parish is very family orientated and being childless just feels like a huge barrier to be honest. I know I need to submit to God’s will but I can’t help but feel very negative about the future.
 
Thank you all so much for your heartfelt answers! It means so much to find people in the same boat. I feel a little silly posting about infertility per se, as we have not had any sort of official diagnosis- I just really thought it would have happened by now. I guess I have been nervous to approach a doctor about it for fear that they would just tell me that we haven’t been trying for long enough. But I will be 32 in a few months and my husband turns 37 later this year (yikes, just seeing that typed out makes me feel old!) so any day now would be nice! 😃

MaraD4, I will be sending you a PM as I would love to hear your story! I totally agree; I have seen a lot of pregnancy support forums, but many of the women there seem to casually view IVF as the next step so it’s hard to relate.

EnglishTeacher, thank you for the suggestion- I will send a message to the administrator!

LittleFlower378, thank you for the kind words. Indeed, the oversexualized culture is a bit hard to stomach…though I must frankly admit that I didn’t always have the same kind of reverence for the human body as I do now. Sadly, I was really immoral in my 20s; sometimes I wonder if I’m currently “paying for it,” though I know that God doesn’t work like that.

AClaire11, I will check out the blog, thank you!

nodito, thank you so much for the prayers. I feel exactly the same way- it’s as if I see pregnant women and babies everywhere now and it takes a lot of effort not to feel jealous! I actually did buy a monitor and it should be arriving soon so ::fingers crossed::. I will definitely look in to Colleen Carroll Cambell (and not just because she has a great first name ;)).

ConfusedLucy, I pray that we can both find the positives in our current situations; PM me any time if you’d like to chat!
 
I’m hoping the positives come with time. My husband and I have started thinking about what we would do if we don’t have children, I have considered going back to uni and trying to get a better job but we have also considered moving somewhere rural and living a simple life. I have just accepted that my faith is something I will have to practice alone.

I don’t know if it helps everyone coming up with back up ideas though.
 
Good idea to see your doctor.
My stepdaughter couldn’t conceive until she started taking vitamin D, she was seriously low. This is not a medical recommendation, just an observation.
It could be something simple like that.

.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top