Concerned about my mother

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pulchraesamicamea

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I’m sorry for making so many threads.

So, my disability has progressed to a certain point. My knees are constantly wobbly, which are really difficult to control. Due to this, my mother has been crying every day. She prays to God to cure me, and says that she will never believe in God if God doesn’t cure me.

She’s certain that, if you pray to God earnestly and pray more rosaries, God will cure me.

For me, I’ve just accepted that God has given me a cross to bear.

I told her about my viewpoint, and she said, “No, I cannot accept that. If God doesn’t cure you, I’m going to believe that He doesn’t exist.” I told her that He does, and He has been comforting me every day. But my mom is continuing to protest that if God doesn’t cure me my mom will never go to church again.

I’m just worried that, if God doesn’t cure me, my mom will end up in hell for rejecting God.

I wonder if I should be praying to God saying, “Thank you for being with me in this suffering, Lord.” or, “God, please cure me.” I’ve been praying both but now I feel substantial pressure for me to be well again for my mom’s sake. I’ve been told that my disease is incurable but my mom keeps saying that my disease is certainly curable if I believe that God will cure me. For me, I’m just thinking: Lord, let your will be done.

I’m just worried my mom will leave the Church if I don’t get better.

What should I do?

Note: I’m unable to go to a priest to talk about this issue due to the nature of my disability.
 
I am sorry for the pain and suffering you are bearing.
I cannot see what arguing with your mom is going to help anything; actually might make everyone feel worst, physically and emotionally.
If you can accept the cross of the pain, try to take on the additional cross of your mother’s concern. Thank her for it.
Pray for her, of course, but if she leaves the Church because you are not cured, her faith was not as strong as she makes it out to be.
Sending prayers for your relief from pain and yes, even a cure 🙂
 
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Yes. I have a diagnosis of muscular dystrophy as a result. I’m seeing a geneticist.
 
Good. If your mother hasn’t spoken with your doctor, maybe she should.
 
Your mother is scared and grieving for her child. She is not able to control her emotional state at this difficult time in her life. God is merciful and loving–I don’t believe He will hold her resentment of Him against her as a “sin” because she is having a agonizing, heart-rending time believing that He exists while helplessly watching her child suffer a debilitating, painful, and incurable disease.
 
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I am sorry that you had to be worry about your mother’s faith in addition to your incurable illness.

Your mother reaction is certainely common, and understandable, but it gaves you another cross to bear. She knows that nobody can help in earth and except that as God is omnipotent and omniscient he will take pity and cure the illness. If not, he is cruel or don’t exist. She cannot accept that He usually just don’t wnat to change the way the world’s rules are working…

If you can’t see your priest, you can email him. You can speak him on the phone, you can writte him a letter or another other way he communicates with his parishioners. If you don’t have done it yet, contact your parish welcoming/rectory for being put in touch.

I think that your mother need some sort of psychological support. If you don’t want to suggest her directly, maybe some people that are likely to be listen by her, such as her husband, your doctor or your priest should propose her. It’s possible that she need to speak a lot of what she is living to make it more bearable. I hope that there is easy and pertinent offers where you live (such as in your medical service for eg).

For spiritual needs she may need to speak and cry a lot with a spiritual director or a priest.

Maybe it will be a good idea to come closer to associations of support of victims of incurable illness and their family. To not be alone may help her a little. And to see how people manage their mourning. Even better if some associations of Catholic inspiration, so with people who hope, pray or challenge God like her, exists.

Testimonies may be more hepfull than big discourses or sermons.

In conclusion I think you will need to accept, that your mother faith or loose of faith is outside of your control. How heart-breaking it should be.
Suggest what you can.
Pray for her soul, her faith and that she will acccept to be supported and help.

God bless you, you appears to be such a good and strong young woman. You are a role model.
 
When your mom goes on a bender like what you describe, just tell her that God exists and loves the both of you whether God cures you or not, and furthermore tell your mother calmly that you hope she doesn’t stop believing in God because you would like to see her in Heaven one day. Then say a little prayer for her like a Hail Mary (Mary was a mom too and had to watch her child suffer) and don’t discuss it any further.

Your mom is just upset and having a typical Mom reaction. Moms are often emotional and not quite rational when their child is suffering and they cannot fix it or stop it. The Lord understands your mom’s stress, but this is a cross/ challenge he has given your mom and it’s up to her to work through it.
 
Keep going to your doctor. Do what he says. All you can do for your mom is pray for her. Just remember…our God is a loving God, who loves her, and loves you. Concentrate on getting as well as you can. Try not to let your mother’s attitude get you down.

You say you’re ability to get out of the house is restricted, because of your illness. Are there any activities away from home you can participate in? Try and look into this. Getting out can help a lot. Ask your doctor.

Be realistic and as positive as you can. Maybe you can invite friends over, if you truly can’t go out.

Pray for yourself and your family, but don’t wear yourself out, worrying about your Mom. God loves her, and wants the best for her, as He does for you!

God Bless all of you. Stay as positive as possible!!!
 
Muscular Dystrophy is obviously not something that is going to get better or heal (without an all out miracle) which although wonderful, is probably not likely to happen. Your Mom lashing out at God about it (from the sound of your post the diagnosis is possibly rather new?) she probably is going through the stages of grief surrounding your disease. Also - because it’s genetic, she may have added grief and anger because of that… which may sound odd to some people - but I know parents do feel terrible guilt when they find out they’ve passed on a genetic disease to their children.

Your mother will need time to come to accept the new ‘normal’ of MD but also - you say you can’t go talk to a priest because of your MD and inability to go places. That’s not true! Please don’t feel that. I have relatives with MD. 3 of the 8 kids ended up with muscular dystrophy. Traveling, shopping, concerts, events, cruises, even working part time jobs is all possible. Even when the disease progresses from ‘wobbly knees’ to a walker and then, a wheelchair - STILL possible to be doing all the things I mentioned. (The only thing that slowed down my Uncle is this darn year of COVID - which has really taken a toll on him since he’s been stuck in his apartment this year…)

So yes, please feel free to talk to your priest - and see if your Mom will as well as she needs an emotional outlet and someone to talk to so she can come to grips with the new normal of your lives. A priest, a therapist… someone. She needs to be able to talk and work through some of her emotions. I hope she doesn’t leave the church due to a lack of a miracle… but again, she may get better emotionally once she works through everything.
 
CoffeeCatholic said:
Your mother will need time to come to accept the new ‘normal’ of MD but also - you say you can’t go talk to a priest because of your MD and inability to go places. That’s not true! Please don’t feel that.
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I think you may have missed

that the OP said she cannot take the public transportations because they are not adapted to her condition. They have a few steps and she cannot raised them alone.

I agree that it is a shame. I have the priviledge to live in a country where the publics transportations and place should be accessible to all kinds of disabilities. But it is because of political will and law. Apparently Seoul don’t have the same.

She also said she don’t have any money to take the taxi. What can we answer to that?

She also said she don’t have any licence or adapted vehicule yet.

Her only solution is that her mother transport her. So her mobility is dependant of her mother’s will and schedule.

I agree that her mother will probably willing to transport to see a priest, but she also said in another thread that no priest would received her if her life is not in danger.
 
I’ve been praying for a miracle on your life whenever I pray the Rosary. Early in the morning, I added you on my prayer intentions and on the list of people whom I pray for. Also pray that God will provide you with a miracle because nothing is impossible with Him! Always pray for her as well, that God may touch her heart. May God always bless you and your family sis!
 
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If I were the OP, I would contact MDA (Muscular Dystrophy Association).

Perhaps there is no chapter in her area, but somewhere in her state, there is an office of MDA.

This organization (MDA) can give the OP practical help when it comes to transportation. There is probably an organization in her town or city that provides rides to people with various physical and mental issues, and MDA will hook her up with that organization(s).

We have several organizations like that in our city–my parents-in-law are signed up for one of them (it’s kind of difficult for them, as they have to provide a 2-week notice for a ride because so many people need rides and there aren’t enough volunteer drivers!–and my parents-in-law aren’t able to remember anything 2 weeks later!–but WE can remember for them and help them out with their appointments).

MDA offers a lot of other services to people, and I think the OP would enjoy the fellowship and friendship in an organization where others are going through the same things she is going through.

Hope this works out for you, OP!
 
Actually Anicette - I did not miss that. I guess I was thinking this person’s mother or family friend or other family member could take them. The “NOTE” at the end -
Note: I’m unable to go to a priest to talk about this issue due to the nature of my disability.
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Sounded like their wobbly legs had them thinking they couldn’t go places and do things… also because this diagnosis seems ‘new’ so they may be under stress right now not realizing how much they can do and only focusing on what they can’t.

I think we both just read the original post differently. I was offering a hopeful and positive outlook to a new diagnosis that may have the original OP and their mother feeling overwhelmed and full of the negatives.
 
pulchraesamicamea said:
I told her about my viewpoint, and she said, “No, I cannot accept that. If God doesn’t cure you, I’m going to believe that He doesn’t exist.”
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Ask your mother to please not place the burden of her belief or disbelief on your knees, and instead have her take it upon her shoulders where it belongs so that she can have a proper talk with our Lord, instead of metaphysically just shouting at him all the time.
 
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