Concerns about my niece's First Holy Communion

[fishfry]

I’m godfather to my niece, and I plan on attending her First Holy Communion in May.

My niece is my brother’s daughter, and she’s 7 years old.

A few things concern me after speaking with her parents, and I’m wondering what my responsibility is as her godfather and as a faithful Catholic:

1. Her parents have told me that they will let her decide whether or not she will be confirmed.
2. Her parents have said that they don’t care if she “becomes Buddhist” later in life, as long as she’s a loving person.
3. Her mother is a religious education instructor at my niece’s parish, and said that she disagrees with some of the Church’s theology.

I’d appreciate some insight as to how to approach this.

God bless!

 

[Regina_Love]

I’m godfather to my niece, and I plan on attending her First Holy Communion in May.

My niece is my brother’s daughter, and she’s 7 years old.

A few things concern me after speaking with her parents, and I’m wondering what my responsibility is as her godfather and as a faithful Catholic:

1. Her parents have told me that they will let her decide whether or not she will be confirmed.
2. Her parents have said that they don’t care if she “becomes Buddhist” later in life, as long as she’s a loving person.
3. Her mother is a religious education instructor at my niece’s parish, and said that she disagrees with some of the Church’s theology.

I’d appreciate some insight as to how to approach this.

Well, now you know what to pray for. Every person must decide for them selves if they will confirm their faith as an adult. Too bad her parents fail to see the importance of belonging to the Body of Christ, in the Church which Jesus founded, and left for our salvation. You should share with them John Martinoni’s last new letter on Why be Catholic. We are all in the act of converting more to God, as we seek his will. The problem is when they decide to disagree, because they don’t get the true teachings. I will join you in praying for their continued conversion to Christ.

God bless!

 

[Gorgias]

fishfry,

I think that your primary role here is one of prayer and of providing a good example. Your role as godfather neither requires nor permits you to insert yourself as a substitute parent, even if your god-daughter’s parents don’t provide a solid Catholic upbringing.

When you’re around her, be sure that you reflect the Catholic faith and teachings well. Don’t beat her or her parents over their heads with doctrine; you’ll likely end up looking like the bad guy.

After all, if her parents will ‘let her decide’, then you might have the opportunity, down the line, to show her the importance of confirmation, right?

If her parents prioritize her becoming a ‘loving person’ over becoming a faithful Catholic, there are certain teaching moments that a godparent who’s active in their godchild’s life will have, that allow for good catechesis.

However, if you’re suggesting that you take some action because of the timing of her 1st Holy Communion… then no, it doesn’t seem that there’s anything out there that you could or should do…

 

[commenter]

I’m godfather to my niece, and I plan on attending her First Holy Communion in May.

My niece is my brother’s daughter, and she’s 7 years old.

A few things concern me after speaking with her parents, and I’m wondering what my responsibility is as her godfather and as a faithful Catholic:

1. Her parents have told me that they will let her decide whether or not she will be confirmed.
2. Her parents have said that they don’t care if she “becomes Buddhist” later in life, as long as she’s a loving person.
3. Her mother is a religious education instructor at my niece’s parish, and said that she disagrees with some of the Church’s theology.

I’d appreciate some insight as to how to approach this.

God bless!

Your niece is lucky to have such a good godparent.

1. Confirmation should ultimately be the choice of the participant. Parents (and godparents) influence that choice over the course of years. If the niece is given good Catholic guidance year by year, and witnesses good example by confimed adults, she likely will choose to be confirmed at the usual age. But if in the future she does not want to be confirmed, any kind of pressure is counter productive. She can choose to be confirmed in the future, it will mean more to her.
2. It’s sad the parents don’t care what religion she chooses. But they must have some trust and confidence in you, to have you as a godparent. I gave my young nieces and nephews some Catholic books, brought them to some fun church related activities. Your credibility with your niece and her parents will depend on how much she and they feel your love for them. Your niece should know you are interested in her as a person, not just to promote religion to.
3. Sadly this is common, for religion teachers to disagree. Years ago dissenters were often aware of Church teaching, but chose to disagree. If she is young enough to have a young child, the mom likely is misinformed, partly because of her own weak catechesis, partly because the secular media constantly attacks the Catholic Faith. You probably can’t change her mind totally, your love, your occasional explanations (not argument) may make some partial change in her. Keep in mind the need for you to study the actual Catholic teaching on the matters; just because you are orthodox doesn’t mean you are automatically prepared. Read the Catechism. Most of all, pray.

 

[Nicea325]

Communion in May.

My niece is my brother’s daughter, and she’s 7 years old.

A few things concern me after speaking with her parents, and I’m wondering what my responsibility is as her godfather and as a faithful Catholic:

1. Her parents have told me that they will let her decide whether or not she will be confirmed.

No offense,but apparently her parents have the slighest clue what the Sacrament of Confirmation bestows on one. I hear the same comment,because I am a DRE at a parish. I usually ask parents: Do you feel the same about your child’s current education? Have you gave him/her the choice as to whether he or she wants to continue going to school?

1. Her parents have said that they don’t care if she “becomes Buddhist” later in life, as long as she’s a loving person.

Again no offense,but parents seem like pagans or cafeteria Catholics.Then why are they allowing her to receive Holy Communion? What do parents expect to achieve or receive by her receiving Holy Communion; if they do not care if she becomes a Buddhist? Then it is a obvious parents have no relationship with God or understand basic Catholic theology. Truly sad!

1. Her mother is a religious education instructor at my niece’s parish, and said that she disagrees with some of the Church’s theology

.

HUGE RED FLAG! Why is her parish Director/Coordinator allowing her to teach,if she disagrees with church theology? I can assure you there is no way she would be a Catechist under my supervision.

I’d appreciate some insight as to how to approach this.

God bless!

 

[jason56716]

Communion in May.

My niece is my brother’s daughter, and she’s 7 years old.

A few things concern me after speaking with her parents, and I’m wondering what my responsibility is as her godfather and as a faithful Catholic:

No offense,but apparently her parents have the slighest clue what the Sacrament of Confirmation bestows on one. I hear the same comment,because I am a DRE at a parish. I usually ask parents: Do you feel the same about your child’s current education? Have you gave him/her the choice as to whether he or she wants to continue going to school?

Again no offense,but parents seem like pagans or cafeteria Catholics.Then why are they allowing her to receive Holy Communion? What do parents expect to achieve or receive by her receiving Holy Communion; if they do not care if she becomes a Buddhist? Then it is a obvious parents have no relationship with God or understand basic Catholic theology. Truly sad!

.

HUGE RED FLAG! Why is her parish Director/Coordinator allowing her to teach,if she disagrees with church theology? I can assure you there is no way she would be a Catechist under my supervision.

I’d appreciate some insight as to how to approach this.

God bless!

Disagreeing with Church teaching and understanding of theology is one thing, disagreeing and teaching heresy and that disagreement is quite another. I disagree with certain aspects of Catholicism, like the existence of hell, but i accept that the Church’s teaching and believe in it because i know that the Church is smarter than I am in such matters. The original poster did not say that the woman was teaching heresy, but rather she disagreed with Church teaching. Perhaps God is working through her. Perhaps her heart could be opened to God’s teaching through the Church by being an instructor. Let’s not be too hasty to condemn her for this. We know not her true motives.

It is sad that parents wouldn’t care if their child left the Church or even Christianity. Speculating is fruitless. Ask them as to why they would say that? KNOW YOUR FAITH, LIVE YOUR FAITH, and PRAY for them.

God Bless you!

 

[marysfiat]

I have two nieces 7 & 9 . This is perfect place for you to be! God is in control, dont worry. Handle all with love. You will guide your niece in the perfect direction. And what a blessing to show her parents in the most loving way how a devoted catholic should “practice” the faith! Gentle seeds, Information you can share is so important. Not only do you have thr honor of explaing the miracle of Jesus in your belly, just as Mary recieved Him in hers! The Holy Spirit will guide you.

Im in the same situation, both parents of my nieces are dont even go to church…they do believe in God. And my brother (the father) allows them to go to Mass with me. I’ve been blessed to see them all grow. Because of my nieces…its given me the chance for both parents to learn about the catholic faith thru what I have taught my nieces. They respect me because they see the love I give them and I dont tell the parents what they r doing wrong.The Holy Spirit takes care of that…

Enjoy this honor and watch them all grow from your walk…

Theresa

 

[marysfiat]

Excuse my typos…lol…im using a tiny phone…

 

[marysfiat]

I have two nieces 7 & 9 . This is perfect place for you to be! God is in control, dont worry. Handle all with love. You will guide your niece in the perfect direction. And what a blessing to show her parents in the most loving way how a devoted catholic should “practice” the faith! Gentle seeds, Information you can share is so important. Not only do you have thr honor of explaing the miracle of Jesus in your belly, just as Mary recieved Him in hers! The Holy Spirit will guide you.

Im in the same situation, both parents of my nieces are dont even go to church…they do believe in God. And my brother (the father) allows them to go to Mass with me. I’ve been blessed to see them all grow. Because of my nieces…its given me the chance for both parents to learn about the catholic faith thru what I have taught my nieces. They respect me because they see the love I give them and I dont tell the parents what they r doing wrong.The Holy Spirit takes care of that…

Enjoy this honor and watch them all grow from your walk…

Theresa

 

[thistle]

I’m godfather to my niece, and I plan on attending her First Holy Communion in May.

My niece is my brother’s daughter, and she’s 7 years old.

A few things concern me after speaking with her parents, and I’m wondering what my responsibility is as her godfather and as a faithful Catholic:

1. Her parents have told me that they will let her decide whether or not she will be confirmed.
2. Her parents have said that they don’t care if she “becomes Buddhist” later in life, as long as she’s a loving person.
3. Her mother is a religious education instructor at my niece’s parish, and said that she disagrees with some of the Church’s theology.

I’d appreciate some insight as to how to approach this.

God bless!

You should seek the advice of a priest.

 

[marysfiat]

Yes. It is really important if you dont have a spititual director , (a priest or nun) available ,its hard to find for many nowadays…ask catholic answers section that have …please try not to tell anyone that may spread rumors.

:heart:remind yourself often the Jesus promised us the Holy Spirit to be our “counselor”…so pray and trust:heart:

Congrats Godfather!

 

[marysfiat]

Yes. It is really important if you dont have a spititual director , (a priest or nun) available ,its hard to find for many nowadays…ask catholic answers section that have …please try not to tell anyone that may spread rumors.

:heart:remind yourself often the Jesus promised us the Holy Spirit to be our “counselor”…so pray and trust:heart:

Congrats Godfather!

 

[Nicea325]

Disagreeing with Church teaching and understanding of theology is one thing, disagreeing and teaching heresy and that disagreement is quite another. I disagree with certain aspects of Catholicism, like the existence of hell, but i accept that the Church’s teaching and believe in it because i know that the Church is smarter than I am in such matters. The original poster did not say that the woman was teaching heresy, but rather she disagreed with Church teaching. Perhaps God is working through her. Perhaps her heart could be opened to God’s teaching through the Church by being an instructor. Let’s not be too hasty to condemn her for this. We know not her true motives.

It is sad that parents wouldn’t care if their child left the Church or even Christianity. Speculating is fruitless. Ask them as to why they would say that? KNOW YOUR FAITH, LIVE YOUR FAITH, and PRAY for them.

God Bless you!

Never said claimed or stated the individual was teaching heresy without a doubt. Nonetheless, the fact she disagrees with specific church teachings is in direct conflict what we teach and believe as Catholics, especially if one is in the field of catechesis. If one is teaching Catholic dogma/doctrine while another person down the hallway is in conflict and teaching something opposite,then it is an issue.

Anyone can deny the existence of Hell,but does not change the reality of Hells existence. One’s lack of knowledge or understanding does not change a dogma revealed by God. If we question a dogma revealed by God,then we become the Judge of divine revelation and God our student. It is a dangerous ground to walk on.

 

[Boy_Wonder]

I’m godfather to my niece, and I plan on attending her First Holy Communion in May.

My niece is my brother’s daughter, and she’s 7 years old.

A few things concern me after speaking with her parents, and I’m wondering what my responsibility is as her godfather and as a faithful Catholic:

1. Her parents have told me that they will let her decide whether or not she will be confirmed.
2. Her parents have said that they don’t care if she “becomes Buddhist” later in life, as long as she’s a loving person.
3. Her mother is a religious education instructor at my niece’s parish, and said that she disagrees with some of the Church’s theology.

I’d appreciate some insight as to how to approach this.

God bless!

No need to “approach” it other than to pray. Make a fuss and ruin the occasion. A lot can happen between now and the confirmation. Trust God and be a good example. Never scold!

 

[Boy_Wonder]

Listen to Reply #9 by marysfiat. True words of wisdom and love.

Let’s stop worrying about being right and concentrate on loving those God puts in our lives while remaining steadfastly faithful ourselves.

 

[jason56716]

Never said claimed or stated the individual was teaching heresy without a doubt.( I never said you did.) Nonetheless, the fact she disagrees with specific church teachings is in direct conflict what we teach and believe as Catholics, especially if one is in the field of catechesis.(you are saying that a person cannot faithfully teach or do something that they don’t agree with?) * If one is teaching Catholic dogma/doctrine while another person down the hallway is in conflict and teaching something opposite,then it is an issue. ( I agree with this, But the original poster did not specify if the teacher in question was teaching something contrary to Church teaching. The original poster only stated that the teacher didn’t agree with all aspects of church teaching. Again, are you saying a person can not faithfully teach or do something they don’t agree with?)*

Anyone can deny the existence of Hell,but does not change the reality of Hells existence.(Agreed! I never once denied the existence of hell, or it’s reality. I merely stated i disagreed with it’s existence, and that is a weak argument on my part because i WISH it didn’t exist. Hell exists, why? because it is a revealed truth.) One’s lack of knowledge or understanding does not change a dogma revealed by God. (Agreed) If we question a dogma revealed by God,* (questioning authority isn’t as much wrong as what you do with the answer. Dogma has been questioned for centuries, and some good things have come from that, Do you think that we would have the clear definitions of Dogma had they not been questioned? )then we become the Judge of divine revelation ( no we become students of the truth, what student wouldn’t ask a question or belief only to be given a clarified answer?)* and God our student. (God could never be our student, we could only live a delusion that He is. Our society today is a prime example of people redefining God in their image rather than letting themselves submit to God and trust in His plan for us!) It is a dangerous ground to walk on. I think you mean well, but most likely i didn’t make my point clear enough. I apologize for the confusion.

 

[Nicea325]

Originally Posted by Nicea325
Never said claimed or stated the individual was teaching heresy without a doubt.( I never said you did.) Nonetheless, the fact she disagrees with specific church teachings is in direct conflict what we teach and believe as Catholics, especially if one is in the field of catechesis.

jason56716:
you are saying that a person cannot faithfully teach or do something that they don’t agree with?) If one is teaching Catholic dogma/doctrine while another person down the hallway is in conflict and teaching something opposite,then it is an issue.

And you faithfully know he or she will not or willing to teach conflict views? It is not a question of capability,but moreover,what are the probablities he or she might want to teach something different? Are you willing to take such a chance? I would not take such a chance,especially if I am responsible for my catechists.

jason56716:
I agree with this, But the original poster did not specify if the teacher in question was teaching something contrary to Church teaching. The original poster only stated that the teacher didn’t agree with all aspects of church teaching. Again, are you saying a person can not faithfully teach or do something they don’t agree with?)

And are you willing to take a chance he or she might?

Anyone can deny the existence of Hell,but does not change the reality of Hells existence.

jason56716:

(Agreed! I never once denied the existence of hell, or it’s reality. I merely stated i disagreed with it’s existence, and that is a weak argument on my part because i WISH it didn’t exist. Hell exists, why? because it is a revealed truth.)

Agreed.

One’s lack of knowledge or understanding does not change a dogma revealed by God.

jason:
(Agreed) If we question a dogma revealed by God, (questioning authority isn’t as much wrong as what you do with the answer. Dogma has been questioned for centuries, and some good things have come from that, Do you think that we would have the clear definitions of Dogma had they not been questioned? )

Not questioning authority per se,but the author/Creator of dogma: God.

then we become the Judge of divine revelation

( no we become students of the truth, what student wouldn’t ask a question or belief only to be given a clarified answer?)

I would not necessarily state asking a question is the same as claiming or teaching it is false or in error. But yes, I understand your point.

and God our student.

jason:
(God could never be our student, we could only live a delusion that He is. Our society today is a prime example of people redefining God in their image rather than letting themselves submit to God and trust in His plan for us!)

Unfortunately my brother in Christ, many do seem to make God their student without realzing it.

It is a dangerous ground to walk on.

jason:
I think you mean well, but most likely i didn’t make my point clear enough. I apologize for the confusion.

No…you are clear and I do not mean to judge or claim such an individual as a poor example. I am only making rough assessments based on what I read.

 

[jason56716]