Concise (secular) argument against pornography/modern views of sexuality

[TheWatcher]

Perhaps a good place to start looking for secular arguments against pornography would be some feminists blogs and sites. Most feminists are upset by how the media portrays women. While their acceptance of porn will vary wildly, there are many that feel that porn is inherently sexist. It’ll give you a place to start, at least, and know what common objections and arguments are being discussed.

I’m not sure you’ll find a great secular argument for waiting until marriage but there are several for waiting until ready, which may include marriage for some.
For example, security is important. If someone cannot adequately support themselves, they might be putting themselves at a disadvantage in a relationship. Dependents may feel they need to submit to the stronger party or risk their well-being.
Another is mutual interests. Sex is one point of interest between a couple. If one or both people lose interest, even temporarily, in this one point, do they have enough other mutual interests to sustain a relationship? (Or even if they didn’t completely lose interest but it just lessened for one reason or another.) Sex is great, but it shouldn’t be the band-aid that holds a relationship together.

 

[Befink]

Hi there,

Of course what you’ve seen so far touches on the classic liberal vs. conservative mentality. *Let me try your refocused questions from the liberal point of view based on what I’ve learned as a Catholic so far. *I totally agree with you that secular arguments are ultimately needed if the Church wants to convince greater society to practice its view on morality.

Fornication is a sin because sex removed from love typically always hurts someone and never satisfies. *I became Catholic after marriage so I had it pretty easy from that point of view. *Looking back on my premarital days, there was basically never anything good that came from sexual activity, other than a few good stories *I was also extremely lucky regarding pregnancy and STDs. *Most women I slept with were hurt by it, even if they didn’t say so. *Also notice that people who treat sex as “no big deal” often have self-esteem or other issues. *Those that stay chaste consistently tell stories of stronger loving relationships they build. *Marriages they have stay fresh. *Helps that one in chastity must build high self-esteem to not give into pressures and demand a partner who will respect their high standards.

Cohabitation in the Catholic definition assumes the couple is sexually active. *It is otherwise allowable to live together for financial reasons etc. as long as they stay celebate until marriage.

Porn/ self-pleasure are usually resorted to when the couple is not sexually satisfied. *It’s too easy in typical marriages to let sex life go when the realities of life are a constant issue. *The Catholic teaching coincides with what most marriage counselors would say which is to revive the couple’s sex life instead of becoming complacent with a substitute.

When it comes down to it, do we really need sex? *The answer is no. *Many people go without for various reasons and figure that out.

In all fairness, I see these as ideal but also recognize that they are realistic to achieve. *Many people do so and receive the benefits accordingly. *Most people don’t and I wouldn’t say they are bad people (after all I was one). *Of course it’s a lot to ask of a teenage boy not to self-pleasure so why do people give them the third degree over it when it seems they could do far worse than that? *Teaching these ideas in patience and love is the right way to go. *After that, people deserve love whether they follow them or not.