Confessing To Your Boss?

[Whitacre_Girl]

So, I have recently been appointed to the position of the music director of my parish. It’s a big job and my direct supervisor is the parish priest. Here is my dilemma: what do I do about confession?

He is always there so he is the one I would confess to and I can’t trust myself to make a good confession to the man who is, for all intents and purposes, my boss. What do you do in this situation…just visit another church and confess to that priest?

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

So, I have recently been appointed to the position of the music director of my parish. It’s a big job and my direct supervisor is the parish priest. Here is my dilemma: what do I do about confession?

He is always there so he is the one I would confess to and I can’t trust myself to make a good confession to the man who is, for all intents and purposes, my boss. What do you do in this situation…just visit another church and confess to that priest?

Yes, I Think it is wiser.
some parishes once a year bring outside priests for confession for those who feel uncorfortable confessing to the local priest for familiarity.

 

[Elizium23]

some parishes once a year bring outside priests for confession for those who feel uncorfortable confessing to the local priest for familiarity.

I think the intent in bringing more priests to an annual Communal Reconciliation service is actually to make the sacrament available in a reasonable period of time to more people attending such a service. This helps to fulfill the precept of the Church to confess sins at least once a year, and happens to have the side effect of providing unfamiliar priests for those who prefer confession to a stranger.

 

[BigFellaMick]

I would probably feel more comfortable with a stranger but keep in mind also that if the Priest has a few years on them in the Priesthood than there’s a good chance that there isn’t anything they haven’t already heard. And they are there to help you, which I suppose is obviously well understood by everyone on here. I agree with everyone else but at the same time would also say not to feel awkward confessing to your parish priest if you work with him personally. Doesn’t change the fact that he’s a priest and it won’t make him think any less of you? If that’s what you were worried about? Going to the same confessor helps build in some people a defense mechanism for sin. If someone continues to partake in a sin that embarrasses them, if they keep going to confess the same sin and they know the Priest recognizes them, the next time they go to sin they might find the resolve to avoid the sin, for the sake of being fearful of having to confess that sin again. I imagine this happens a lot. Sad that that’s what it takes for some of us but hey, whatever keeps us from sin (as long as it is not another sin) then I guess its a good thing yeah?

 

[Will_S]

Yes, I Think it is wiser.
some parishes once a year bring outside priests for confession for those who feel uncorfortable confessing to the local priest for familiarity.

Once a year is a long time to go between confessions…

 

[Phemie]

So, I have recently been appointed to the position of the music director of my parish. It’s a big job and my direct supervisor is the parish priest. Here is my dilemma: what do I do about confession?

He is always there so he is the one I would confess to and I can’t trust myself to make a good confession to the man who is, for all intents and purposes, my boss. What do you do in this situation…just visit another church and confess to that priest?

I was in that situation for 13 years as the parish secretary and I had no option since, due to our geographic location, there is no other parish or priest. It’s not easy at first but it does get easier, though there are certain things that are mightily embarrassing to confess to your boss, so you usually don’t do them again just to avoid that situation.

 

[promethius]

So, I have recently been appointed to the position of the music director of my parish. It’s a big job and my direct supervisor is the parish priest. Here is my dilemma: what do I do about confession?

He is always there so he is the one I would confess to and I can’t trust myself to make a good confession to the man who is, for all intents and purposes, my boss. What do you do in this situation…just visit another church and confess to that priest?

What is the problem with confessing to the priest you work for? Trust in the sacramental bond of reconciliation. (Of course, if you are confessing that you’re stealing from work you might want to go to another parish…). Most likely, your priest has heard everything you have to confess MANY times before.

 

[KCT]

I work in one local parish but belong to another. I go to my home parish for confession because it’s just what I’m used to doing!

A friend of mine is also a DRE and confesses to her boss, who is also her pastor. She has no problem with it.

 

[FrDavid96]

So, I have recently been appointed to the position of the music director of my parish. It’s a big job and my direct supervisor is the parish priest. Here is my dilemma: what do I do about confession?

He is always there so he is the one I would confess to and I can’t trust myself to make a good confession to the man who is, for all intents and purposes, my boss. What do you do in this situation…just visit another church and confess to that priest?

There are 2 different ways of looking at this.

From a personal perspective, if you are uncomfortable going to confession to your boss, then by all means you are free to go to any other priest. You can do this for any reason at all.

Something that might give you a little “peace of mind” is found in canon law:

Can. 984 §1. A confessor is prohibited completely from using knowledge acquired from confession to the detriment of the penitent even when any danger of revelation is excluded.

§2. A person who has been placed in authority cannot use in any manner for external governance the knowledge about sins which he has received in confession at any time.

In other words “what’s said in the confessional stays in the confessional.”

#2 applies directly to your situation. It means that no matter what you confess, the priest cannot ever make use of that information for “external governance” meaning “your employment status.” Nothing. Again, NOTHING. He cannot do anything, he cannot say anything, he shouldn’t even think about it. Absolutely nothing.

Confess to him that you stole the entire Sunday collection last week? He can’t even look at you sideways.

 

[hilde_the_dog]

Father David comes through again. Thanks for the laugh…

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I think we have become very particular in the West because we usually have quite a few choices in parishes and priests. For most of church history the majority of the faithful had only their local priest as confessor. Church rules have been set up to deal with that situation as Fr David shows us. I do not belittle the un-comfortableness of your situation, I’m speaking in reaction more to the many threads were people don’t want to confess to their own parish priest because they might see him at an after Mass coffee later!

Of course, if you do have the option, it is absolutely OK to go to a neighboring parish.